Medical termination at 18 weeks

[George1972]

I am in the middle of a medical termination and am due to be admitted to hospital in the morning for labour to be induced. I am terrified about what is going to happen although I am happy to take whatever if it means my baby dosent have to. This was our first child after 2 miscarrages and as I am 43 next month it feels like this was our last chance. Has anybody been through anything similar recently?

I have no experience of what you are going through but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss and that I hope the procedure goes as painlessly and well as possible . Please take care of yourself.

I have just been through a medical termination at 22 weeks. Mine was possibly a bit different as I had to have an injection to stop baby's heart before I was induced.

I was given oral tablets 48 hours before being admitted which in guessing is where you are atm.

I was admitted to hospital and given internal tablets then oral tablets every 3 hours. I was uncomfortable after the first internal set then things started getting going after the first oral set for me.

I was taken to delivery and given G&A which I thought I'd manage with but the contractions became much more intense and so I had morphine on a pca. Please take this if you're offered. In was in labour for about 3 hours. Rose was delivered with one push as she was so small.

They took her away, cleaned her up, dressed her and put her in a basket. Then we spent the night with her.

I was quite poorly with a temp and shivers, I think it was all the medication tbh.

It has been 3 weeks since Rose was born. She had Edwards. I think I was in shock for a few weeks as thing happened so quickly. I am now starting the grieving process. It's very hard and my emotions are everywhere.

I don't have much advice to help as I'm also in the middle if it all but I just want you to know I know how you feel and that I'm thinking of you x

Thanks for your kind thoughts msmittens, kittyandteal I'm so sorry for your loss it really is the hardest thing to bear although we know we are doing the right thing. I'm not sure about seeing the baby afterwards as I'm not sure if that will make it harder.

It is easily the hardest thing I have ever done. We were 'lucky' in that our decision to terminate was easy, Rose was so poorly and T18 is incompatible with life so for us it was a decision linked to her suffering.

No one can tell you what is the right thing to do. I was adamant I wanted to see her and spend time with her. My DH was unsure, he was worried about what she would look like (Edwards babies often have facial deformities) in the end we both spent time with her. She just looked like a very tiny sleeping baby.

If you decide you don't want to see your baby that's fine too. Out hospital put together a memory box for us with photos of Rose, her hand and footprints, cot card etc in it. You could ask the hospital to do you one or take photos and prints and have them keep them in your file. That way you don't have to see your baby but you know if you ever feel you want to the option is there for you.

Please feel free to pm me. I don't know how much help I can be but I do know what you're going through.

So so sorry to hear what you are going through George....

Not the same but we had a MMC last year at 17 weeks gestation of ds was around 15 weeks. Ds was tiny but perfect and we spent time with him and were given a wonderful memory box with special little hand and footprints....the hospital chaplain did a little blessing.

I didn't know if I would want to see ds I was scared....I'm glad I did and my dp and I felt comforted by this. Be led by the midwives and see how you feel.

As pp see how you go with pain relief I had to have quite a bit and morphine and epidurals both available....

I'm so very sorry and will be thinking of you all

For Kitty

Hi George,

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I had a TFMR almost a year ago at 21 weeks. Our baby had spina bifida and it was an agonising decision. The labour wasn't as bad as coming to terms with everything that had happened. The emotional pain is worse than the physical pain. I took the morphine and that helped.

The shock was so overwhelming that I still cannot believe what happened. We were so desperate for our baby too. We had IVF to concieve and were devastated for it to end so tragically. It was also our first baby.

I didn't want to see the baby afterwards, it was too much for me. I am still glad that I didn't as it would have haunted me forever. My husband did and I worried about how he would deal with it. There is no right or wrong. You just decide what feels right for you.

I am so sorry you are in this position. It really is the most awful thing I ever went through and I will never fully get over it. However it has become easier and I feel like myself again. This is greatly helped by being pregnant again. All I will say is don't give up. You may be 43 and you may have had miscarriages but that doesn't mean it wont happen. I was desperate to be pregnant again and even though it became all consuming I was willing to do whatever it took. IVF makes you pretty determined.

For now just take each day as it comes. There will be happier times ahead. Life is cruel and incomprehensible at times.

You can read about my journey at www.wakeupsurvivesleep.com

Thinking of you

D

Hope you are doing ok George x