Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Antenatal tests

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

Original poster

just found out my baby has downs

21 replies

whohasnickedmyvodka · 17/09/2014 08:30

I have just had the results of my cvs scan and have been told my baby has downs I'm in complete shock

OP posts:

however · 17/09/2014 08:32

Sorry to hear that, do you have your partner with you? Someone you can talk to?

Original poster

whohasnickedmyvodka · 17/09/2014 08:34

No how he is at work :( :(

OP posts:

JaneFonda · 17/09/2014 08:41

How are you feeling OP?

Just remember - give yourself time. You don't have to rush into a decision right this second. Allow yourself a few days to get over the shock, to talk with your DP, to read information...

It's a tough time but there is support out there - have a look for some groups you could talk to or helplines.

BigSpottyCupofTea · 17/09/2014 08:58

I have been in your shoes. Post in the antenatal choices part of the becoming a parent section here. The women there helped save my sanity. Maybe a cup of tea with lots of sugar - you will be feeling very shocked.

guinnessgirl · 17/09/2014 09:03

OP, have a and give yourself time for this to sink in. It's big news and it'll take a while to process. Don't rush into anything, and be kind to yourself x

watchingtheenglish · 17/09/2014 09:09

Gosh that must have been a huge shock for you. Sending you lots of gentle, positive vibes.

My DB has downs and he turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to our family. He's my light. Feel free to PM any questions.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

Original poster

whohasnickedmyvodka · 17/09/2014 09:19

Thanks watch I have reported and asked this to be moved I'm feeling completely numb to be honest

OP posts:

MNHQ

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 17/09/2014 09:32

Hi whohas,
we have moved the thread for you, and we hope you get the support you need right now. Best wishes.

Galena · 17/09/2014 09:33

My DD has cerebral palsy and through her physio groups we now have various friends who have a child with downs. They are all delightful, 2 are school age and at mainstream schools, doing fine. I know it's a shock and might feel like your life has fallen apart, but it might just mean your life will be a bit different. I agree with the others who say don't rush into any decisions...

Original poster

whohasnickedmyvodka · 17/09/2014 09:38

Hi galena I'm going to keep bump I'm just in complete shock

OP posts:

lalamumto3 · 17/09/2014 09:40

Hi my daughter has down syndrome she is 14 years old. Please feel free to PM me with any questions or just to chat. I remember vividly how I felt when she was born and how I thought I would never feel the same again, those days are long gone. She is just part of our family and brings us great joy and lots of laughter.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
x

Galena · 17/09/2014 09:42

It is a shock, and allow yourself time to come to terms with it - it may feel almost like a grieving process as you grieve for your 'perfect' baby. That's ok.

But also allow yourself to get excited about your baby... :)

Hurr1cane · 17/09/2014 10:30

My son has autism and a genetic disorder that can't be found in these sort of tests, and doesn't even have a name yet. You will grieve, and you have to let yourself go through that without feeling guilty. But they are wonderful children.

WipsGlitter · 17/09/2014 10:41

Hi whohas I have a son with DS (waves to other DS mums), we didn't know until he was born, huge shock. It takes time to get used to things. Feel free to ask questions.

I agree with lala our son is just part of the family now!

MrsWinnibago · 17/09/2014 10:44

WhoHas don't try to work anything out today. When your DH comes home you can talk things over.

StupidFlanders · 17/09/2014 10:49

I'm sorry your feeling anxious, this website really helped me, her birth story was very real: www.kellehampton.com/?m=1

BigSpottyCupofTea · 17/09/2014 10:50

Without wishing to upset anyone and just to show one of the alternatives, I choose to end my pregnancy at 22 weeks when we discovered my son had DS with various associated problems, including a very severe heart defect. It was the hardest choice I've ever made but the right one for my family. It may or may not be for you Vodka but there are choices available to you. If I can help at all PM me or have a read through this board - there's lots of different people's experiences to read including mine. Hope you're OK - I went onto shocked autopilot.

pregnantpause · 17/09/2014 10:53

Give yourself time. When i went through similar, I felt so numb and made decisions far far too quickly. I look back now and think that dh and I should have spent much more time thinking, grieving, talking, before making a decision ( not ds so not entirely comparable as outcomes were very different ) . Try to find support, ask people who have been through the this questions- people here have invited you to feel free to pm them- when you're ready , with your dh , ask those questions.

Go easy on yourself, sending hugs

LuckyAugust · 17/09/2014 12:39

Sending big hugs. Hope you have lots of support in real life xx

MrsBobDobalina · 17/09/2014 15:04

I'm so sorry to hear this, I vividly remember taking the call from the midwife who told me the cvs showed that my baby had Down syndrome. We did end the pregnancy. Can your husband get home or is there anyone you trust you can call? I remember being viscerally overwhelmed with grief when I took that call.

I didn't call them, but lots of us on these boards have been helped by the charity ARC. They are totally neutral and their phone lines are staffed by parents who have all been in your shoes. Here's the link to the phone line: www.arc-uk.org/about-arc/contact-us

pinkpip100 · 22/09/2014 04:00

OP I'm sorry you're going through such a stressful time. My 14 month old dd has DS (diagnosed post-natally) and although it was a huge shock when she first arrived, like others have said, she's now so completely part of the family and I couldn't imagine life without her. Once you're feeling up to it, please do ask for help and support on here. There's also a website & fb group called 'the future of downs' that has lots of information on antenatal diagnosis & you can 'chat' to others that are going through/have been through similar experiences.
Thinking of you.

Flip