Patronising and instrusive health visitor
sarah00001 · 07/10/2015 11:48
Hi, I suffered from antenatal depression which began when I was a few weeks pregnant. It wasn't particulraly severe, but I did develop OCD which I found hard to deal with. Upon my request, I was assigned a mental health midwife. It was this midwife who chose my health visitor, and it is someone who specialises in mental health. Anyway, after my baby was born, my depression improved and my OCD has pretty much gone away, nevertheless, I am stuck with the same health visitor. I find her really patronising and asks me lots of personal and intrusive questions that I think are none of her business. At her visit today she said that she had noticed on the system that I had brought my daughter in to see a GP and wanted to know more about it. She also wanted to know the date of birth of my daughter's half brother. She tells me how I should interact with my child, always stating the obvious (today she told me I should pull funny faces at her). I don't need to be told how to be a mother! I appreciate that she may be trying to help, but I don't like feeling that because I suffered depression in pregnancy, I now have to reveal everything about my life to this woman, and to have her tell me how to be a mother. She told me at the last visit that I needed to give my daughter 20 mins tummy time per day. I explained that my daughter hates being on her tummy and would cry, and she told me it was vital I did this every day. If my daughter hates it and gets distressed, then I am not going to make her do it.
Is it normal for health visitors to be like this? Can I ask to see a different health visitor or am I stuck with this one?
LucozadeBreath · 07/10/2015 11:54
I think if you have a valid reason why (which you obviously do) then surely it shouldn't be an issue!
LumpySpaceCow · 11/10/2015 21:52
You are under no obligation to see any health visitor. Ring the office or on her next visit, thank her for your support but explain that you are feeling 100% better and will go to clinic if you have any issues x
sarah00001 · 17/10/2015 22:29
Thank you for your advice, I think I will see her for one last visit and then tell her I don't need any further visits.
standinginthedoorway · 20/10/2015 12:12
Fwiw my HV did everything you mentioned in your OP; followed up with me when I saw GP with dd, told me 20 mins tummy time is vital when I said she hated it (it wasn't vital at all imho as dd hardly ever did tummy time but crawled, stood and walked before all of her peers), told me to smile, pull faces, play peek-a-boo etc etc.
I have no history of mental health issues.
If you plain don't like her though, just ask to change. You aren't obliged to keep her. Bet it happens all the time.
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