Anyone else with both of you with PND?

[Scaredycat666]

I'm just looking for support or any advice really. I have DS (2yo) and Dd (6 weeks). I have PND (and did after DS1) and am on medication and having counselling. DH has tried to be strong and supportive but has recently become depressed too. We're both usually pretty strong and positive, so this has been a shock.

Is anyone else in this situation? Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom? I just want to know that we can get through this.

Yes DH did also become depressed actually, which was a shock. I think it's possible to absorb emotions from one another, and it feels like such a long hard slog at times!

DH didn't get antidepressants, but he says looking back he wishes he had, and also that he'd encouraged me to get some sooner as well. It was a while before we evened out because of those reasons.

And of course you will get through this! You can make it easier on yourselves by nipping to the doctor rather than waiting for your body to even its hormones out though.

Really try and concentrate on eating well; lots of fruit/veg if you can. That helps immeasurably! Not too many chocs/junky bits. We used to have a walk every day with the pram, and we would walk around our local boating lake and just talk in the open air about everything. It did everyone good, baby used to fall asleep in the fresh air and it was just a time for us to go 'fuuuuck!! This was shit, that was shit, I wanted to strangle him when he did x...' It made us feel better!

Thank you! I really appreciate your reply. It just feels like one bad thing after another at the moment so it's good to have a survival story to hang on to! I have no worries about our relationship but everything feels a bit bleak and hopeless, which is ridiculous as we have so much to be grateful for

It's not ridiculous. It's not your fault! Definitely get your DH to get some anti depressants prescribed though, because you both need treatment.

Parenting is so fucking HARD sometimes! Even without depression it can get you down, and the early stages can be beyond maddening.

Can you try and schedule a time when you just both go out together for a little bit? Where are you?

I had post natal anxiety with DD2, and DH was totally unable to support me as he had chronic fatigue syndrome. It was awful as ordinarily we would both have been there for each other, but we just weren't able to be. My DM and MIL had to step in, each came to live with us for a few weeks, keeping things going, We both started anti depressants and a few weeks later were fighting fit and loving life again. You WILL get through it.

I've been on anti depressants for a while and they are helping although I'm still up and down. DH is just starting them, so hopefully that'll help once they kick in.

Unfortunately my PIL. aren't well and although my mum would usually help my step dad had a stroke the day before DD was born so she's limited in what she can do. We don't live particularly nearby either (we're in Somerset).
I think it feels particularly bad at the moment because of the Christmas holidays. DS would usually do nursery for 4 days but I'd home for the fortnight. He's always a bit of a rubbish sleeper but the disruption has made him worse. DH's anxiety makes it hard for him to leave the house, whereas I feel worse if I don't do stuff. Typical!

I'm hoping that once things go back to 'normal' in the new year things will seem brighter.

How long have you been on anti depressants scaredy? If they aren't working well after six weeks you may need to up your dose. I completely sympathise with your situation, when we were both ill it just felt so desperately shit.... Try not to think too far ahead, you will both recover. In the mean time just focus on getting through each hour, as horrible as it is, I found there were still good moments in the worst of days. Remind yourself you are safe you are alive and this will all pass

Thank you both for your replies, it's so kind of you to take the time to support a stranger.

I've been taking the tablets for 6 weeks and have just upped my dose - hopefully it'll make a difference. I am lucky that I have an excellent doctor and supportive HV. Mumblepot - you are right, there are good points every day so I try to focus on them.

It will make a difference I am sure. Hang on in there. You are both doing great, just getting through each day. Thinking of you