Shock horror!!! 100% OF DIVORCEES WERE ONCE MARRIED!!

[marantha]

Shocking new research from the universitybleedinobvious strongly indicates that virtually all those who are now divorced were once married.

But, what has been strongly suspected for some time by both the man-in-the-street and the finest academic brains, has now been vindicated by what has been called "The definitive" scientific research on the subject.

Professor Smith (the academic in charge of the study )explains:

"We carried out both qualititative and quantitive research on the subject and 100% of the 3 million people in the survey who were asked if they had been divorced answered "Yes" when also asked if they had been previously married. Researchers also asked if they could show evidence for this and 99% could provide a "decree nisi" to support their answers. The other 1% said that their dog had ate their copy but could provide a copy if need be".

David Cameron, leader of the Conservative party, said yesterday: "It is absolutely shocking that 100% of divorcees were once married. As a society, we have a duty to fix this problem and say bring the figure down to 50% by the year 2019".

Prime Minister Gordon Brown said: "S*d off, I'm still working on the biscuitgate issue on Mumsnet!!".

I've heard that they were all once children too

You can't argue with statistics like that!

Lol

[snicker]

I've heard that being born carries a serious health risk. It's been found to be a factor in 100% cases of death. sorry, can't link to research.

100% of marriage breakdowns are the fault of women either leaving, or being left, too. Time for women to take responsibility for this parlous state of affairs.

Disgusting I tell you. Broken Britain at its best. I wonder if that figure will increase in light of the recession.

However I knew a couple - the wife was my mum's next door neighbour's local shop keeper's milk delivery supply man's son's best friend's ex girlfriend's step sister's dog breeder - and they weren't married when they got divorced.

I heard that everyone who has ever been divorced has eaten something at some point in their lives

Yes junglist, that is true. Eating leads to divorce, it is a scientific fact.

I heard that breathing causes it. Although breathing is also heavily implicated in death. If you breathe for 70 odd years, you actually die. Not a lot of people know that.

I blame education... bet loads of em went to school.

In Norway
they have done a study which suggests that broken Britain can be linked directly to tea drinking and to a lesser extent other hot beverage consumption

I blame those vegetarians. Apparently a very high proportion of divorced families have, or want to in the future, eat vegetables.

'that virtually all those who are now divorced were once married.' intrigued by the rest

Well, it is clearly a direct result of the breakdown of parental authority and the abolition of the cane. If children these days were not brought up to believe that they could have everything they wanted, they wouldn't be out there proposing marriage and this tragic situation would never have arisen. The obvious answer must be another two inches of compulsory length to school uniforms.

99% of those who use statistics on their threads eventually regret it. 1% have absoulutly no shame.

long live that 1%!

did you know most children will one day do adult things like break the speed limit and drink? shocking! in this day and age.

I don't understand the 1%. How? Where does it come from?

Another statistic from said ministry : 100% of children are born at some point in their lives.

90% of heart attack sufferers brushed their teeth that day!

I don't understand the 1%. How? Where does it come from

from LILmoominmamas post.

almost 100% of parents have had unprotected sex!

Just had to report this thread for shocking use of statistics.....

PrammyMummy - Claiming "about 50% of people RSPV" Quite Frankly I am appalled !

Words like about, roughly, nearly etc... bring the whole science of stats. into disrepute.

You really need to be 100% behind your figures if you are going to flash them around on here my girl!!!

96.7% of statistics are made up.

These statistics could perhaps best be explained in Venn diagramatic form.

If you don't know what a Venn diagram is, this won't help you.

SweetEm, it's 97.6, please try to be more accurate