Would this piss you off?

[honeybehappy]

We moved to a new house 2 months ago, neighbours on one side are fab. Neighbours on the other side say hello to DP but never to me. There is a lady, her daughter and granddaughter. Little girl is same age as dd1 and they chat over the garden fence.

The daughter plays very loud music during the day by this i mean it shaks my whole house. She doesn't do it for long but it's really getting to us.

I have ignored it so far as i dont want to make a fuss as i would like think we could be friends and love that dd's talk to the little girl.

On sunday afternoon they had a bbq, our front room is at the back of the house so we brought dd's in as there was about 30 adults in the garden and with all the drinking and smoking we thought it made sense.

Gardens are smallish and there is just a green chain link fence about waist high.Me and DP were in the kitchen when DD1 who is 3 comes screaming in that there was a man in the garden. They were gone by the time we got back.

Watching TV and all of a sudden another bloke is wandering around my garden obviously very drunk. DP Ran out to the garden and said what the fuck are you doing. The daughter says sorry and mumbles that she told them not to but started laughing.

Now if they would have knocked on the door and said do you mind if we hop over to get the ball if it comes over i would have been fine, i would have locked my door so my babies were safe.

I'm absoulty gutted this happend, we have been through so much and fially our life was starting to improve but now i feel really uneasy about living here.

There was another ball in the garden when we locked the door and shut the curtains and it was gone when i checked a while later so they still jumped over.

Im so fucking angry that they think so little of us.
We went to see our housing officer on tuesday to see if they would help with the cost of a fence because we know they are planning another at the weekend but they said no. The lady wanted to go round but we said no.

Im soooo angry that they invaded our personal space and made my dd so upset. She wont go in the garden.

Forgot to add we wouldn't have minded if it was a child that came over.

hi, so sorry your having this kind of trouble, its so hard in that there is not escape when they are so close. It is completely unacceptable for them to invade your space and i would be completely the same with my kids too. how about tryin to talk to them once more and then if that dont work, let someone from council go round. good luck

YANBU to expect to feel safe and secure within your own boundaries, but if the party was just a one off and you start putting up fences etc you might not get your wish to be friends with them.

Only IMO, but if you do want to put up a fence, I would wait until you can do it and it wont look like it's connected to the party.

Some people do do stupid thoughtless things when they've had a bit to drink, but it's not on to be scaring your DC.

If you've just moved in the last thing you want is to have a situation where it's escalating so that you have a nasty situation on your hands, esp if like you say you've just got everything as you want it.

But this party dosent sound like its a one off; another is planned for this weekend.

Exactly Squish, Dp went out there and i was really worried incase someone started on him.

I saw the daughter earliar and she gave me a dirty look. DP saw her mum and she said hello as usual. I cant understand why they didnt just say sorry. It would have made me feel better about the situation.

Honey - do you think it is possible that the previous occupants of your house moved out because of the neighbours?

no the housing association moved them to a bigger house up the road.

I've also just remembered the little girl and DD1 are starting the same nursery tomorrow so if she knows lots of other mums i wont gt the chance to make any friends.

The more i think of it the more upset i get.Why couldnt i just knock on the door and tell them not to do it.

YANBU to want to have your garden and your space. Can you google home made land mines?

lol

Did they know how upset you were? And did they feel that because the DD had said sorry at the time (even though she'd laughed) that that was enough?

I don't know the backstory as to what you've been through, and I'm not saying you are, but could you be reading the girls look as a dirty look when really it's not? It sounds very odd for the mum to say hello to your DP and not you.

Maybe if your DP gets on ok with the granny, he should have a word with her about how much it all upset you?

Have you tried just talking to them? I just moved into a new place a couple of months ago and one of the men living there likes to play reggae music at top volume, and I mean so loud that I can feel the furniture shaking! But I gathered up my courage and went over to ask them to turn it down and they were very polite about it. I've had to go over about 5 or 6 times for the same reason since, which is a bit annoying, but I am always polite about it and so are they.

Obviously your neighbours might not be so reasonable and I totally understand why you feel threatened about having strangers in your garden but I think it's always best to try and sort issues like this out directly with your neighbours first before getting anyone else involved.

Well dd1 was hysterical, she just couldnt understand why the man was in her garden coming towards the door. Shes only 3 so she didnt understand he was getting a ball.

I just think they are old enough to know better i'd say the dd is about my age(25) and a mother herself.

Your poor DD. And of course they are old enough to know better, but perhaps you need to spell it out for them!