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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect to only have one washing bin?

25 replies

turtle23 · 12/08/2009 06:34

I made a list of things DH could do to be more helpful (his request) as he is moving back in today. One of those things was to (please) put his dirty clothes in the washing bin. You would think that was ok.
His response was that "there is obviously something happening that means I don't do that." (Err...yeah...you're lazy?) "I think it is because I take off my clothes when I come in from the gym/dance classes downstairs and the bin is upstairs." I said why don't you just take them up when you go up? "No, I think the answer is to have a seperate washing bin downstairs for my gym stuff." We live in a small 2 bed maisonette. If there were a washing bin ANYWHERE downstairs (and it would be in the way as there is NO MORE SPACE)DS would be in it like a shot.
AIBU to want to just have dirty clothes in one place? Or am I putting ease and convenience for washing and not having DS pull clothes out above my husband possibly putting some of his clothes in another bin? Yes, I am seriously asking if AIBU.

OP posts:

ben5 · 12/08/2009 06:38

is your washing machine downstairs? can he put them straight in the machine ( do you have to check his pockets? i ask only as my husband is crap at this job!!)

Original poster

turtle23 · 12/08/2009 06:45

Washing machine upstairs and yes I have to check his pockets. Wallets, mobiles,tissues and chewing gum are left with startling regularity.
I have two seperate bits in the washing bin as his gym stuff gets washed seperately as it can't have fabric softener...but seriously if it got left downstairs DS would be wearing sweaty tshirts on his head within minutes.

OP posts:

ZacharyQuack · 12/08/2009 06:46

If it was me, I'd tell him to sort out where he wants his downstairs bin to be, and buy it. Life's too short to argue about washing.

ChasingSquirrels · 12/08/2009 07:26

does he not go upstairs to then get clean stuff to wear?
Seriously, if he is trying to get his act together tell him to sort himself out, It will take him what - 2 mins? And tell him to check his pockets as well or whatever is in them will get ruined.

Original poster

turtle23 · 12/08/2009 07:40

Yes, he has to go upstairs not long after. This is my point. He doesn't see it.

OP posts:

PrincessToadstool · 12/08/2009 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChasingSquirrels · 12/08/2009 07:44

so leave his stuff there, don't pick it up, don't wash it. Hopefully he will get the message.
If you can't leave it there due to ds then get a bin bag, put stuff in it and LEAVE IT.

Original poster

turtle23 · 12/08/2009 07:45

Been there, done it. This is the problem. He does not learn.

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 12/08/2009 07:47

and then what happens? when he hasnt got clean gym stuff?

littleducks · 12/08/2009 08:07

And your letting him move back in why exactly??

Ok that was mean but seriously, he can take his clothes off dsownstairs put on the bannister then take upstairs when he goes?

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 08:19

He's being totally ridiculous

Original poster

turtle23 · 12/08/2009 08:21

Unfortunately I am pregnant so the stench of rotting gym stuff gets to me after a while. He does have 42 gym tshirts though so it was quite a while....
I know...I know...littleducks...I shouldn't be letting him move back in. This is his chance to prove himself. Hasn't even come through the door and he's pissing me off.

OP posts:

pjmama · 12/08/2009 08:36

Tell him the washing bin is upstairs and to stop being such a lazy sod! Also tell him that any dirty washing that gets left anywhere OTHER than the washing bin will be put in a black bag and left for the bin men. And do it!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 12/08/2009 08:52

dh is the same with oily, petrol soaked overalls.

on monday he discovered he had 6 shirts to wear, but no clean trousers - he had only put shirts in the washing pile, only shirts got washed.

needless to say, i have noticed this morn i have 4 pairs of trousers to wash - he has gone on the hunt round the house for them and found them all.

HSMM · 12/08/2009 09:04

Even my 10 yr old DD knows that if it is not upstairs in the wash basket it WILL NOT get washed!

SammyK · 12/08/2009 09:11

He is a lazy stubborn sod and needs a short sharp slap (I'll do it!).

As he goes upstairs to put more clothes on he can take his dirty clothes up with him, it's not hard. He is just being lazy and knows you will move them if he doesn't bother.

Seona1973 · 12/08/2009 09:18

we have a small washing basket in the kitchen for the kids clothes and dh's football kit. I dont want his stinky stuff in my washing basket up the stairs and it means it gets washed quicker as it is near the washing machine.

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/08/2009 15:54

if its not in the bin - then it doesnt get washed

allaboutme · 12/08/2009 16:19

If the washing machine is upstairs and your washing bin is upstairs then he MUST take his dirty clothes upstairs!
Tell him that if you buy another washing bin for this, then you are spending unnessecary money, you are taking up space downstairs and causing annoyance with something DS will climb into AND YOU WILL THEN HAVE TO CART IT ALL UPSTAIRS TO WASH IT!!!
If he wants it washed then he puts it in the washin bin, simple as.

If you must have him back showing such utter disrespect for you, then tell him that. If he doesnt put his clothes in the washing bin and you cant stand the smell, then put them in a bin sack in the shed or something out of sight.
He sounds like a cock

LastTrainToNowhere · 12/08/2009 17:48

What is it about men and washing? Why is it so hard for them to just put their clothes in the washing bin?
This has not touched a nerve with me, no siree

oldraver · 12/08/2009 19:36

Why is he taking his clothes off downstairs if you say he then goes upstairs soon after to get cleaned up and fresh clothes on ?? Sorry I dont understand his logic. I'm afraid I would be re-evaluating him coming home if at the first very reasonable request to make your life easier he puts huge obstacles in the way

FfreckleFface · 12/08/2009 22:14

We have two, for this very reason. Bloke has an annoying (and also quite amusing) habit of taking his t-shirt off when he gets back from the gym so he can check himself out and flex his muscles in the big mirror in the living room.

I was so sick of his dumping hideous, sweaty vests and socks in the living room (only to be modelled by little Ff, or taken to the dog basket for bedding)that I put another wash basket under the stairs.

I have to do the searching thing too, Turtle, after putting his work shirt through the wash with a load of my clothes, with a fountain pen still left in the pocket...

I hope it goes well for you, Turtle, washing issues aside.

MummyDragon · 13/08/2009 20:35

Well said allaboutme

Sn0wflake · 14/08/2009 00:29

Good god I can't believe some of you put up with such self obsessed and idiotic men. Didn't their mothers (or fathers) teach them anything? They are expecting partners to be their mothers and it's just disgusting.

OK I'm sorry if that is extreme it just makes me mad.

Sn0wflake · 14/08/2009 00:30

And the list was to make YOUR life easier NOT his. Tell him to piss off until he respects you a bit more.

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