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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for dd's report early?

28 replies

petitmaman · 22/06/2009 21:12

We are off on holiday soon and the day we go (v early ) her school report comes out. i know they are prob all done already so aibu to ask for it the day before we go? (she has a very scary teacher. will prob ask office)
don't want to seem like pushy parent but if it is good I would like to give dd a treat on holiday ( i am also Very impatient )
WWYD?

OP posts:
weegiemum · 22/06/2009 21:13

I'm a teacher - I get reports in at the Very Last Minute and there is no way mine would be done by now!

cocolepew · 22/06/2009 21:14

I got my DDs early a few years ago, we were going on holiday.

bamboostalks · 22/06/2009 21:17

If you are skipping school to go on holiday then yes I do think yabu. Why should the teacher inconvience herself for someone who is worried about missing the last 3 weeks of term?

bamboostalks · 22/06/2009 21:17

not worried

hocuspontas · 22/06/2009 21:18

It may be written but not necessarily signed off by the HT, then signed by the teacher and then photocopied, stapled, collated, enveloped and addressed. That's the job of the overworked TA to somehow fit into the day. (Have done this today ) Gets finished about 10 mins before hometime!

clam · 22/06/2009 21:25

Sorry to say this, but if you elect to go on holiday during term time, then you suck up the consequences.

Have the report when you get back. Don't think the teacher will be swayed by you saying you want to give DD a treat whilst away.

janeite · 22/06/2009 21:29

I agree with Clam. You have chosen not to be there, so you have also chosen to forfeit your right to get the report imho. They have six weeks off school ffs so no excuse to be going on holiday before the end of term anyway.

angrypixie · 22/06/2009 21:29

if only mine were finished and sadly I agree with Clam if you bugger off before the end of term no special treatment, I can't grab a cheap flight by leaving a few days early.

Hulababy · 22/06/2009 21:30

Honestly, they may very well just not be ready til the day bfore! Been a teacher, been there done that - often they are still being collated, stapled and put into enveloped the morning they are due out. Report writing and checking is a very long drawn out process IME.

2rebecca · 22/06/2009 21:33

Why rush the school because you're on holiday in school time? What difference will waiting til you get back make? You're an adult not an impulsive toddler, have some patience and don't put yourself first.

sameagain · 22/06/2009 21:40

Sorry, but I think the school would be perfectly entitled to the view that if you're off on hols in term time you're not that interested in your child's progress at school. Certainly don't see why they would want to put themselves out for you.

Heated · 22/06/2009 21:41

In my school that would mean every teacher who taught that child, plus form tutor and head of year diverting away from other tasks to log on to the system to write one child's report - just because you have elected to take your child out of school for a family jolly. They may well have not finished assessing your child either; I set the exam, mark and write reports on a very tight schedule. You can, however, reasonably request the school post the report to your home address whilst you are away.

saintmaybe · 22/06/2009 21:43

You're going to give her a treat on holiday if her report is good?

You sound a bit mad, tbh

clemette · 22/06/2009 21:46

I am wondering why you are so impatient. Surely you have an idea of how she is doing at school before you read the report?
At our school we are now limited to 300 characters per child - it would be more productive to phone and ask.
But I would wait until you came back...

angrypixie · 22/06/2009 21:49

How old is your dd?

lockets · 22/06/2009 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SomeGuy · 22/06/2009 21:53

Completely and utterly unreasonable. You're supposed to be meek about the fact you're missing school, not demanding special privileges.

thedolly · 22/06/2009 22:02

YANBU to ask but don't be miffed if you don't get it - that would be U.

FairLadyRantALot · 22/06/2009 22:27

not that it changes anything...but don't think OP is going on holiday 3 weeks before school finishes...she says she goes on holiday soon and that they leave on the day the school reports come out....

but OP YABU, tbh

Original poster
petitmaman · 23/06/2009 06:41

ok. so iabu and won't ask, thats fine. but can i just say:
We are going for 1 week not three.
My parnets are taking us so no I cant say 'oh pay double the price so we can go two weeks later'
this is the only year we will doo it and my dd is 7. she has not had time off at all due to illness etc and i s quite capable. we are going to a forein country where i think she will prob learn more thanshe would in a classroom at the end of the year.
and yes i have worked in a school where all the reports had to be finished signed off etc way before giving them out. thought this was normal.
and I don't think i am slightly mad to give my dd a special treat if her report is good. i think a lot of people do this.
But point taken. i am taking her out during term time so no special privilages. Thank you

OP posts:
2rebecca · 23/06/2009 08:09

I don't give my kids treats if their report is good. They get praise, but are usually harder on themselves if their report isn't good, esp the younger one. I don't want them to feel they have to "achieve" to get things, and want them to realise their school work is for their benefit, not ours. My parents never gave financial rewards/ presents for good reports/ exam success though so I prob get that from them. Also the report isn't usually much of a surprise. My sec school kid has been told by teachers what most of his grades are as they relate to work done this term. I had presumed you were talking about sec school kids and was surprised when sprog only 7. Primary school reports are a bit of a waste of paper and really not worth making a fuss about. Lots of stuff on being pleasant and enthusiastic.

MelonCauli · 23/06/2009 08:14

If it's only a week then why can't you wait?

BecauseImWorthIt · 23/06/2009 08:18

"we are going to a forein country where i think she will prob learn more thanshe would in a classroom at the end of the year."

This argument is always trotted out as a justification for taking your children out of school! Such a cliche and almost certainly not true.

It doesn't matter if it's one week or three. You're still taking her out of school and asking for special privileges.

So yes, YABU.

2rebecca · 23/06/2009 08:26

I don't think having a week out of primary school is a big deal. The last weeks of term they don't learn much anyway. Some kids miss loads of time with illnesses and truancy. If your kid is normally a regular attender then a week off school shouldn't really affect anything. The teachers still get paid and have less kids to teach. No way would my parents have arranged a holiday during term time though, I find the idea of grandparents arranging holidays in term time more surprising than parents doing it.

BecauseImWorthIt · 23/06/2009 08:30

I agree 2rebecca - but don't try and dress it up with nonsensical justifications!

(and I speak as someone who did take their children out of school at the end of term as well)