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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To lose my temper a little?

21 replies

Kayzr · 07/05/2009 15:44

My HV wants me to go to these course/group things. 1 for parents of 2-3yo on Wednesday 9-12 then to a post-natal one on Wednesday 1-3. So I said no, not really interested especially as it means a whole day. She asked me to just go to one meeting of one of them so I choose the post-natal one as DS2 is nearly 5 months old and they were talking about weaning.

So I went yesterday, plonked DS1 in the creche bit and went in. We were all asked to tell our birth stories and I got a lot of "Oh my god", "why didn't you ask for a CS?" and faces like this >. DS2 was 10lb 5oz and born at home with a little G&A but the tube was broken(so not as much as I'd like)
Afterwards we were just sat talking and 2 ladies said that they thought I was making my birth story up as it is impossible to naturally give birth to a baby DS2's size. When I said that it was true they just ignored me and then went on to say "that they think large babies look like they have downs syndrome". I lost my temper a little bit and stomped out!!

I lost a little brother when he was 3 days old who had Downs so I tend to take it personally.

HV has just rung to ask how I was as she was told what had happened!

DH thinks I was in the right but I feel a bit bad now.

AIBU?

OP posts:

IneedAbetterNickname · 07/05/2009 15:47

YANBU
Sorry about your brother, thats so sad
My Mum used to work with Downs children and gets really cross when she hears parents say "Put your tongue back in, you look like a Downs child"
And WHY would you 'invent' your birth story? I know a couple of people that have had a VB with a 10lber!

FabulousBakerGirl · 07/05/2009 15:49

YANBU

Whether you had lost your brother or not that is a terrible thing to say. I wouldn't bother going again.

I am sorry for the loss of your brother. How old were you?

FiveGoMadInDorset · 07/05/2009 15:49

My cousins 3 boys were all well over 10lbs and she had VB's with all of them.

Poor you, was your HV sympathetic?

mazzystartled · 07/05/2009 15:50

What stupid insensitive participants, but crikey, what group leader in theri right mind expects people to talk about their birth stories with total strangers.....

That said, don't write off all these groups because they can be good - why not give the other one a whirl, with an open mind.

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/05/2009 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Kayzr · 07/05/2009 15:50

I was 7 and my other brother was 5. I kind of knew what was happening but he didn't. He was born at 29 weeks so the downs had nothing to do with him dying. But it does still get me when people moan about people with downs.

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 07/05/2009 15:51

My cousin had a 13 pounder VB. She's a lot taller than me, though. And no, you're not BU, those women are foolish and uninformed.

Pinkjenny · 07/05/2009 15:52

Cheeky bloody bitches! YANBU at all.

Original poster

Kayzr · 07/05/2009 15:52

She is insisting because DS1 is having the terrible 2's but I choose the baby one as it sounded better.

HV was very nice about it aqnd the 2 ladies have been told not to come back.

OP posts:

AramintaCane · 07/05/2009 15:52

I had DD2 at home with very little gas and air and she was huge. Those people sound awful. Why does the health visitor want you to go.

BouncingTurtle · 07/05/2009 15:53

Good God I thought you were far more restrained than I would have been, was horrid bitches those women were

One of my Great Aunts had a 13lb baby, and no she didn't have a CS

Original poster

Kayzr · 07/05/2009 15:54

She thinks that if DS1 mixes with other children he will stop having tantrums. Not sure why but he is going to playschool soon so it really shouldn't matter.

OP posts:

seeker · 07/05/2009 15:56

My brother still thinks I should sue the local hospital for not insisting that I had a C section with my ds because he was 10lb6oz. This despite the fact hat I was in labour for about 3 hours, had no pain relief, took 17 minutes to push him out and was picking dd up from a party on the afternoon of the same day! People are funny about big babies. Don't feel bad - it's the horrible old cow who should be feeling bad! Go back next week, ignore her and find some lovely people to talk to. There will be lots there.

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/05/2009 15:58

Hayzr they sound like complete twats and you were in the right. Don't go again and don't feel pressurised. Stupid women.

HRHQueenElizabethII · 07/05/2009 15:58

That's ludicrous - don't know why everyone is so bewildered by large babies - I was 10lb, born at home with G&A, and my dd was 10lb 11oz, born in hosp with nothing at all as they took the G&A away! (It was the right thing to do, though I did shout at the time!)

And the Down's comment is vile on too many levels. I'm sorry for the loss of your brother; that must have been doubly wounding.

slug · 07/05/2009 16:06

As always, the answer to the "You're making it up" comment is..."Are you medically qualified?"

namebacon · 07/05/2009 16:07

It sounds like you were'nt the only person who didn't want to be there. Those two women probably didn't want to go either so went and caused trouble so they wouldn't have to go again.

Mumcentreplus · 07/05/2009 16:08

They sound like a bunch of idiots!..lucky you didn't give a few choice words to the bitches..

PacificDogwood · 07/05/2009 16:12

YANBU at all.
at the other women's response. That is an awful thing to say for so many reasons.
Anyway, as far as VB goes, it is not so much the weight of the baby that matters, but the SIZE of it's head!!
Hope your HV was supportive of you .

OrmIrian · 07/05/2009 16:14

Twonks!

How horrible. I don't understand why they would react like that.

Mine were all v big. 10 4 and 9 6 and I had no real trouble.

crockydoodle · 07/05/2009 16:56

My last 2 ( i hav 4) were 10 12 and 10 13, born in the midwife led unit with gas and air (and quite large heads). The comments i got included "did you have him yourself?" wtf?
YANBU

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