For not knowing how to cut up a damn pineapple!

[onetiredmummy]

I have no idea. I've never done it! Clearly you cut the top & bottom off but what about the sides?

Dh has left me alone with it expecting rings when he gets back! This is from the man who still can't operate the washing machine at age 34!

PS I hate pineapple anyway. Only trying it as am now 4 days overdue & if this baby does not come out soon I WILL HAVE A TANTRUM.

YANBU

Here TBH it's unlikely to help, you need to eat several to have the desired effect...

Slice vertically downwards to slice off spiky skin.

I would then just slice, cut each slice in half and core out the hard centre. They are quite difficult to core whole IYSWIM.

There is a fab gadget like a kind of corkscrew which cut them into a perfect spiral. No idea what it is called but someone like Lakeland or Kleeneze probably sell them. Bit late for this afternoon though!

Oh, and it's the core that has the stuff you need. Mmmm tasty. Sex is far more helpful, even if it's not much more alluring.

Nipple twiddling? (not for pineapple cutting though

Apparently the hormones it stimulates can (if ripe) bring on labour.

I believe you (or the DH!) have to do it for hours though

Don't cut down vertically - you need to cut round in spirals, from top to bottom. It helps those annoying 'hairy holes' to get cut out.

Thanks everyone, my pineapple rage has now abated a bit.

pmsl - I too had fruit related rage earlier but it was with regards to a mango. Slippery little bugger it was and I seemed to end up with more juice and mush than anything else!

How whoever (or whatever) cuts it up into those pieces for those fresh fruit packs I dont know but they should share!

Oh and if you really want to know. Sex. Doggy style (deepest penetration and you get to watch tv at the same time . Had a show a few hours later.

Lakeland have a gadget that does it for you like magic-cant do links though

slices pineapple not brings on labour

You need this

The parsimonious Northerner in me always thinks there's something a bit decadent about a gadget solely for 1 type of foodstuff - melon ballers and the like.

You can cut down the side in slices if you're a bit slapdash like me and then hack out the core.

Or just have sex, seems a bit easier!