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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to have had at least one reply by now?

31 replies

girlsnightout · 14/02/2009 10:08

DS will be 5 at the beginning of next month, he started school in September and so we are doing the big party thing this year with most of his class invited. Invites were distributed yesterday (wanted to give plenty of notice as it is half term) and gave my mobile number so parents could text back with replies. AIBU to expect to have at least one reply by now, bearing in mind that book bags would have been emptied last night, or am I getting a little paranoid in thinking no one wants to come to DS?s party, made worse by the fact that he is REALLY looking forward to it?

OP posts:
MitchyInge · 14/02/2009 10:10

I thought you meant to this thread and was puzzling it out

kitbit · 14/02/2009 10:11

When is the party? IME people tend to be a bit more relaxed if the party is a couple of weeks away. Don't worry, it's only 24 hours, I haven't emptied ds's bag yet! In fact I probably won't rush to do it as there's lots of time. Probably some of the other parents are thinking the same!

mishymoo · 14/02/2009 10:11

I think YABU, give people a chance! They only got the invites yesterday and it's half term so people might be going on holiday and haven't even looked in the book bag yet.

MitchyInge · 14/02/2009 10:11

but YAB a bit U - I haven't looked in my daughter's bag yet

Janos · 14/02/2009 10:12

Please don't worry about it, I'm sure you will get a reply soon. This is quite normal

Mooseheart · 14/02/2009 10:14

dd got an invitation last Tuesday to a party scheduled for early next month and I still haven't replied.
I usually tend to get round to it about a week - ten days beforehand.

spoiltforchoice · 14/02/2009 10:15

YABU. Expect replies from next weekend, I'd estimate.

MrsSeanBean · 14/02/2009 10:15

Yes don't panic, it's the weekend, give it a few days.

mrsruffallo · 14/02/2009 10:17

It is so annoying when people don't bother to RSVP
IME don't be surprised if you don't get many replies at all-this does NOT mean they are not coming
YANBU btw- I always answer as swiftly as I can but seem to be the minority on this

amidaiwish · 14/02/2009 10:18

when is the party?
unless we can definitely NOT go, i tend to rsvp 7-10 days before party, when i know that she can definitely go.

DDs party is next sunday, i gave out the invites last monday - by e-mail to the class list and paper ones in book bags. replies still coming in, quite a few yesterday (i had specifically said on them please rsvp before we break for half term). i put my e-mail address, mobile no and house no.! have had all but 3 replies which i was v impressed with.

NancysGarden · 14/02/2009 10:19

If the parents are anything like me you won't get a reply til at least tomorrow or early next week. I haven't unpacked anything from yesterday and am still in my pjs. It's half-term!

Worry not, I'm sure they will come, it's just not everyone is that efficient at the weekend

Original poster
girlsnightout · 14/02/2009 10:20

Thanks for the quick replies ladies! Yes I know I am being a bit U The party is the first weekend of next month and DS keeps going on and on about it, he's really excited! I keep having visions of nobody turning up with just DH and me singing Happy Birthday to him!

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 14/02/2009 10:23

so it is 2 weeks away! (or 3?) don't expect any replies until you get back to school probably. relax, plenty will come.

TheRealStig · 14/02/2009 10:25

I haven't opened book bags yet either!

if you do the school run, most people will tell you yes or no when they bump into you (then you'll forget who said what by the time you get home!)

dearprudence · 14/02/2009 10:26

I think people are less likely to look in a book bag on the last day of term, so don't stress. In any case, you will soon find that people just don't respond that quickly to invites. They get them, stick them on the pin-board or write them on the calendar, or whatever, and get round to replying nearer the time. If you are often at the school picking up, many parents will just tell you in person.

Did you supervise the invitations going into book bags yourself? If your DS just gave them out at school to 4 and 5 year-olds, I'd say there's a fair chance that half of them never make it into the parents' hands.

IME, if you invite about 25 children and you need replies you will have to call/ask at least 10 of the parents, as they won't reply at all.

It is definitely not because the children don't want to come.

Original poster
girlsnightout · 14/02/2009 10:26

I'm with you mrsruffallo, I always try and answer as soon as I can, I think its polite but we do seem to be in the minority!

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 14/02/2009 10:33

i know it is polite to answer straight away but i just can't. for example if DD had got a party invite for the weekend 7th/8th March i would need to check a few things.
like, it is my sister's birthday on the 4th so are we going to be away or doing something with her?
has DD2 got any parties (i prioritise hers if i have to choose as she is at nursery so far fewer)
is dh going to be around - otherwise i need to arrange to share drop off etc.. (DD2 is prone to meltdowns if she can't join in/doesn't get a party bag so i avoid bringing her if possible)

etc etc..

never means we "don't want" to come.
but i always RSVP super fast if it is a definite no.

Miaou · 14/02/2009 10:33

Yes, YABU. If it's the start of half-term it wouldn't occur to me to go through a book bag until at least the middle of next week !

Original poster
girlsnightout · 14/02/2009 10:35

Invites were put in bookbags by the TA. I saw quite a few of DS's friends come out of school yesterday excitedly waving the invitations to their Mums! I think my fear is if someone doesn't reply but turns up on the day .

OP posts:
Redazzy · 14/02/2009 10:38

Definately no need to worry. Most people will let you know at school and not bother texting ime. A week before the party, you can round up the stragglers who still have not replied - there will be plenty but not because they don't want to come just because they are disorganised, like me!

Ashantai · 15/02/2009 20:36

My sons bookbag is still in the hallway . I usually fish it out the day before they go back and do the homework in about 10 mins

paolosgirl · 15/02/2009 20:46

Gosh, my DC's book bags are upstairs in their wardrobes - I haven't even been through them. They are on holiday now for the next 2 days, so in my usual organised fashion I will look through them on Tuesday night.

I wouldn't worry about it - you'll hear from everyone in the next week or so. Hope he has a nice party

quint · 15/02/2009 20:56

Don't be surprised if some people don't get back to you at all. The week before DD1party I had to wait outside her classroom to ask the parents of some children. Most said oh yes, he/she can't wait - WTF why didn;t you reply then?!!!!!! Obviously i didn;t say that, I just smiled sweetly and said great, see you then!

ThingOne · 15/02/2009 23:10

In the future I'd not give them out the day half term starts - maybe a day or two before? I think it's probably easy for them to get overlooked for a few days, or even until school starts again.

I'm a fairly good bag checker but even I didn't open Friday's bookbag until Saturday. But I would have replied to an invitation straight away, honest guv.

Original poster
girlsnightout · 16/02/2009 09:15

No replies yet! You're right ThingOne I perhaps should have given the invites out a day or so before half term or as soon as they went back, I just wanted to get the bloody things out the door to be honest! A horrible thought did occur to me in the middle of the night, did I write my mobile number down correctly? I do have a tendancy to transpose!

OP posts:
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