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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in telling xp to go **** himself?

12 replies

mypandasgotcrabs · 05/12/2008 14:50

He seems to think I am.

We split just over a year ago, we made an agreement between ourselves that he would pay £200 per month maintenance. All was good, 1st of every month he used to pay me it no bother. However last payment I had was May. 4 months down the line I'd gone through all the money in my account and was nearing my overdraft limit (wages & tax credits are slightly less than my outgoings), so I asked him for some money. He kicked off, threatened me, ended in me dialling 999 before he would leave the house. He claims he has no maoney (he earns in a week what I earn in a month), although tbh, knowing his spending history it doesn't surprise me that he's managed to run up £40K worth of debt in the last year. I asked a couple more times, but each time was met with 'I've got no money'.

I haven't wanted to involve the csa, but now everything is bouncing out of my account, so I've been left with no choice. Today he received the letter from the csa. Today he got the sack. Very bloody convenient from my pov.

Having spoken to him on the phone he won't listen to anything I have to say. I've tried to help him with his debt, told him to see a debt management company, but he won't. But all in all he says it's my fault he's been sacked!

So I told him to go fuck himself, but apparently I'm the one being out of order here.

OP posts:
NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor · 05/12/2008 14:51

YANBU.

VinegarSantaGropedMyTits · 05/12/2008 14:55

YANBU he bought it all upon himself, unless he thinks you have been spending his wages for him and mounting up the debt

Why did he get the sack?

shelleylou · 05/12/2008 15:06

YANBU............. in fact i could have wrote similar about my ex p

mypandasgotcrabs · 05/12/2008 17:14

He got the sack because he 'was upset' That's all he'll tell me, but if he is as abusive and intimidating to his boss as he is towards me when he's upset or angry then that's something else that doesn't surprise me.

OP posts:
LittleJingleBellas · 05/12/2008 17:17

Are you sure he's got the sack?

It's amazing how many men suddenly have no income when the CSA comes a calling

prettybutterfly · 05/12/2008 17:19

Yanb bloody u!
Ai ai aii!

jesuswhatnext · 05/12/2008 17:24

what is it with these spineless twats, why the fuck can't they stump up for their kids - at last count my ex h owed me £97,0000!!! (no, he hasn't paid for years)

guess i won't hold my breath eh

i just look forward to karma - twill get him in the end

btw YANBU, man is loser and a twat and prob has halitosis and his willy will turn black and fall off

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/12/2008 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheNewsMongersGeansaiNollag · 05/12/2008 17:49

YANBU. His work couldn't sack him for this reason!! Maybe they're sacking him because of a more general 'everybody else's fault' kind of attitude that he has???

You can NOT reason with a man like this. I know because I've tried to reason with a man who is inherently mean and selfish and who blames everybody and everything else for the mess his life is in. He's done everything he can to control me, bully me, threaten me with court, the only thing he has not tried is being a decent human being.

So, nyanbu AT ALL, but that doesn't help because he'll never see it I bet.

CUT THE CORD. There is freedom in not waiting for an arsehole's/loser's money.

Poverty is a smaller price to pay imo. DOn't misunderstand me, I would like a decent reasonable ex who'd pay me some money towards the children, but he will never just hand over money.

mypandasgotcrabs · 05/12/2008 18:57

Well I've spoken to the csa and they said they will be getting in contact with his employers anyway so will find out the score from them.

jesuswhatnext - blimey that'd be a nice payday if he ever stumped up lol.

NewsMonger - I think you've summed it up really.

I think I need to declare myself bankrupt (have £10K of debt that he ran up in my name), then that gets that payment to the cccs out of the way, then I will have some surplus each month, and not need his money.

OP posts:
shelleyloukissessantaselves · 06/12/2008 00:16

some staff at CSA are really helpful. If hes lying then they can find out from his employer if they are as unhelpful as my ex's employer they can go through Inland revenue to find out if hes working but that can take a while. If they have to go through them as they havent been given information from your ex or his employer he'll probabally have a deductions from earnings order attached. So he doesnt have a choice about paying but the employer has the respnosbility of sending payments to the CSA.

shelleyloukissessantaselves · 06/12/2008 00:16

responsibility even

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