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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be peed off with DH for being so insensitive?

13 replies

rascalboys · 14/10/2008 22:58

He's 200 miles away, working for the week.

I have 2 DC's, and am pg, so hard work. But we're okay!

We spoke late last night and he was really drunk. I just felt angry because I hadn't sat down for one second from 7 am until he called me at midnight, when I finally fell into bed.

He calls at 4.30 pm today and I say I feel really poorly, headachy etc and am going to have an early night. He tells me he's going out for a couple of pints and will call me later. So, he goes out just after we talk (4.30 pm). He knows the DC's want to talk to him but he doesn't call so I text him at 10 pm to say goodnight and he replies nearly an hour later saying love you, call you in a bit. before they went to bed I had the DC's saying 'we don't need daddy anyway mummy', with tears in their eyes.

It's just so unlike him, usually cares. especially when I'm pg and feeling ill.

I'm just not happy

OP posts:

honeybehappy · 14/10/2008 23:41

what a plonker!!Are you gonna wait up for his call?

honeybehappy · 14/10/2008 23:41

how old are your LO's?

Original poster

rascalboys · 15/10/2008 00:39

no, I went to bed, he has called twice and loads of texts but I'm not replying, not tonight anyway.

They are 9 and 5.

OP posts:

Mumi · 15/10/2008 00:45

"before they went to bed I had the DC's saying 'we don't need daddy anyway mummy', with tears in their eyes."

...

They're not the only ones YANBU

Tryharder · 15/10/2008 00:49

Do you think he got pissed again and forgot to call?

If it's not like him, then I would forgive him. YANBU but I don't think it's the worse thing he could do. He's probably gone out for a meal with some work colleagues, they've had a few pints, not checked the time.... we've all done it (although mine were double vodkas, not pints!)

Original poster

rascalboys · 15/10/2008 00:50

are you in the same boat mumi?

I just don't get it, he is such a family man usually. Never in the all the years I've known him have I known him like this.

OP posts:

Mumi · 15/10/2008 14:19

I'm not in the same boat, no, but "we don't need daddy anyway, mummy" is just what my brother and I thought when we were young. He only only worked downstairs in the pub but he was still a million miles away in other ways.

I don't know whether they said it to reassure you as well. It's just quite a mature thing for children of that age to be saying, shows they know what's going on, like we did and I think your DH needs to be told that.

exasperatedmummy · 15/10/2008 14:26

rake him over the coals!

NewspiritsFromOldghosts · 15/10/2008 14:28

is is an unusual thing for him to be working away? Is he just making the most of it as it were?

I do think he is being unreasonable not to remember to call the kids, but if it's a one off event then i would probably be a little peeved but let it go.

Original poster

rascalboys · 15/10/2008 17:18

yes, it is an unusual thing for him to be working away. don't get me wrong, I don't care how long he goes out for or where he goes when he's away, I just wish he'd phoned the DC's, and not expected me to stay up late to talk to him, drunk, when he could have called me and the kids earlier and then gone and done whatever.

He is very close to the DC's and me, I think that's why he has shocked me so much. He's been promising to bring them a present back and he's called them just now and said he'd take them shopping when he comes back....he's in a city centre FFS!

They said 'okay daddy' but their little faces fell. He shouldn't have said he'd bring them something back if he had no intention.

I asked my youngest DC what he meant when he said we don't need daddy and he said 'I mean it's okay if he's not here because we're not lonely, we are together'. Don't get me wrong, when he is at home we are very much a 'family'. We do everything together. I think this week has just been a shock to us all

OP posts:

exasperatedmummy · 15/10/2008 18:19

So, when you have finished raking him over the coals, twice, once for last night and then once for not getting the DCs a present. Talk to him and explain why you were hurt. I bet he just is enjoying some freedom - i would like a double helping of some freedom just now. Then let it go and be the lovely family you describe. Being reasonable about twuntery is just fantastic for tweaking those guilt hormones you know

Original poster

rascalboys · 15/10/2008 18:22

well I have just had a gift delivered to the house and he's called the DC's again and said he's got them a present.

I think that guilt setting in

OP posts:

exasperatedmummy · 15/10/2008 18:30

ah, you can damp down the coals for now then, i think he has suffered enough - this time!

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