To not want to share?

[AidaJane]

I’m due to attend a work training event next month. It’s a two hour drive from the office.
I have access to a work pool car, so have requested to use it for the journey. My boss is happy for me to do so, but asked me to see if the others attending want to come with me to
maximise the cost benefit.
I don’t know the others well at all, one I haven’t met. The thought of four hours in the car making small talk fills me with dread.
Possibly this is magnified by my ADHD and how exhausting it can be to be constantly trying to find the right things to say etc.

so, AIBU to not want to share the drive?

You can't hog a work car for your own use when others might be going to the work training too. Share or drive your own car.

I hate this too, so travel in my own car.
You very obviously can't use a work car if you're unwilling to optimise the benefits for the workplace by sharing with colleagues.

YABVVVU

Come on now op don't take the piss 😂

Of course you are being unreasonable…you must surely know this??

If you don’t wish to share the journey, you’ll obviously have to make your own way OP!

It's not your car though. It's a work car so obviously your boss will want others to use it.

You can either share the work pool car or get there under your own steam, surely?

You have to share but tell them as the driver you’ll probably be quiet while you concentrate and to chat amongst themselves. You can relax then and may enjoy some of their topics while finding out a bit more about your colleagues, see it as an opportunity

Yes, I accept that I will have to take my own car, but wondering if others would be fine with the sharing or not?

the thought of being in the car making small talk for four hours makes me feel a bit sick. I definitely can’t do it.

@AidaJane you are not unreasonable for not ‘wanting’ to but as it’s not actually your car you don’t get to decide. Ofcourse if it’s a work car and a few colleagues are all going to the same place it’s obvious that you would need to offer them a lift. Doesn’t mean you have to like doing it tho.

The alternative is not to use the work car.

If it’s actually called a work pool car then yes vvv unreasonable- The word pool is there as it allows many people to pool together to get transport so yes very unreasonable.

I also would hate to ride with others but that doesn’t mean you can hog a work car. Either hire your own car, drive your own car or public transport if you don’t want to share.

You’re being a bit dramatic.

Yes, i’m not questioning whether they should let me go alone in the work car- I totally understand it’s a shared resource.

No one enjoys stuff like that. Just put a podcast on and listen to something. Say you can’t chat and drive.

Just a reminder to check your insurance if you are using your car to travel (for work purposes) to somewhere other than your normal place of work, you aren't usually covered under standard commuting policies, you need business cover.

Yes it does sound dramatic doesn’t it but the thought of it feels absolutely unbearable. It will suck my soul entirely dry.

Some would be, some wouldn’t be.

Stupid of you to ask for a work ‘pool’ car if you hadn’t planned on sharing it with colleagues.

Fine not to be part of the conversation but she cannot insist that no one talks of that she gets to choose a podcast (or music or whatever).

I currently have sole use of the car, but it is a work car that can be shared.

Many will be fine OP.

Some will just get on with it because they are well adjusted adults.

A few will hate the idea, like you do.

Can you just accept that your aversion is part and parcel of your diagnosis and do what you need to do?

Well why are you complaining then?
Just take your own car and stop with the dramatics.
I miss the days when adults behaved like adults.

The diagnosis is new, so I am learning. Part of that is figuring out what ‘normal’ is after spending 40 years assuming everyone’s brain works the same as yours.