Should I cancel my autism assessment

[Whattodo1122]

I returned to work in 2023 after a large chunk of time off. After a few months of working a colleague asked if I had ever screened for ADHD / Autism and shared some links for testing. I scored very highly on both so contacted the doctors and was referred for an assessment.

Now in 2026 I have been offered an assessment next month for autism but I’m in 2 minds if I should go ahead.

Between 2023-2026 there has been an explosion of people getting a diagnosis and in my line of work it feels like everyone has one, getting one or thinks they are neurodivergent.

I’ve seen so many functioning people getting diagnosed and now struggling to function afterwards which has removed all quality of life and put them in financial ruin. I’ve seen so many people start using it as their main identity all they talk about and went from coping in workplace to know a long list of adjustments that massively impact colleagues. I feel the volume of people now means it’s become so standard and lost any real meaning.

I feel now that people with more complex ADHD/ Autism who have needed 121 support since a young age, struggled to function school and work without support are now being left behind more then ever and having a disability is losing its means due to the volume of people claiming, it’s scary.

My husband, family, most friends and even colleagues don’t agree with it all. At work we were recently told we need to understand the adjustments needed for every individual going forward which removes the need for anyone having a diagnosis as we cater for their needs which makes sense.

I really don’t know if I should cancel the assessment as following research and making adjustments life is great, but what if I loose my current job…everything could change and I don’t want to go back to being unemployed and housebound as waster so many years of my life unwell.

Has anyone else felt like this and cancelled their assessment or had this concern but went ahead and found it a positive experience.

If I go ahead it would be helpful to inspire others they can achieve their goals and get back to functioning outside the home with a good plan in place.

I haven't but my son is one of those who needed 1-2-1 in education and a specialist education now is facing a bleak future of probable unemployment.

If you were to get a diagnosis you don't have to disclose it to your employer, but can if you want to. Regarding adjustments at work, not every employer is understanding about this and there will be staff who don't get the support they need. A diagnosis could help you in the future if you felt you needed adjustments in the workplace. It could be useful should you need it.

I don't think there is any negative at all from having the assessment. It may help you to understand any struggles you have. You can absolutely find lots of positives as it sounds like you have a successful life and career so there is lots to feel positive about whatever the outcome of the assessment.

This isn’t about other people. This is about you. There’s no need to overthink on this level. Have the assessment and see how it helps you.

Everyone with asd is different and so comparisons, ruminations and judgements about perceived wider issues with ASD in society aren’t that relevant or even true. The diagnosis has meaning for each person in their lives no matter what anyone else thinks and it tends to be helpful even if only as a way of understanding certain experiences and behaviours. You won’t get any kudos or gratitude from family and colleagues for not having a diagnosis or adjustments (and if you don’t need adjustments, don’t have them, many people don’t need ‘a long list’). Your family and colleagues will never know what it’s like to be you and nor will anyone on here. Again, this is about you and for you so have it and see how it helps you. That’s the point of it as an adult mainly and why wouldn’t you want to know yourself better on this life journey?

It’s okay if you’re just having a wobble, which is what this really sounds like, as the reasons for not progressing to diagnosis don’t really stack up. Change is scary, especially for some with ASD. But again, know yourself and why you’re having these feelings, then you can get past the fears and not be led by it. My DS has a diagnosis, which has been helpful for him in understanding some of his feelings and in having minor adjustments so people can be direct not ambiguous (eg in job interviews) and won’t think he’s being rude by not reacting as an ND person would. My brother hasn’t had a diagnosis but clearly is ASD and a diagnosis would have helped him with his struggles, but he’s too stuck in his ways now so won’t have one. You may get the odd person agreeing with you, especially from the bitter ‘everyone’s ND these days grr’ angle, but I think any cons are outweighed by the pros in the majority of cases.

My child has 1-2-1 support in school but that’s what is needed for him to access education.

Have the assessment because you may never get another chance. Just because you cope well now doesn’t mean you won’t burn out in the future. Having the diagnosis means your employer should make adjustments, where possible.

You don't know whether you'll be diagnosed until you have the assessment.

If you have the assessment and you are ND you don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to. Your employer will never know so work won't change.

If you are coping well and don't need any strategies, fine but having a diagnosis might help you understand some traits.

My DD is struggling with some physical health, I'd love her to have a ND assessment/diagnosis as I've read some ND people (particularly girls who mask well) feel pain differently and a diagnosis can help doctors take physical stuff more seriously.

What were your original reasons for wanting the assessment? Will it satisfy a need for a greater understanding of yourself? Or was it more about getting your adjustments at work. You may find it interesting to know if you meet the criteria. You don’t have to react to a diagnosis in any of the ways you describe. You don’t even have to tell anyone. You can still continue to function just as well as you already do. I do agree that if autism becomes too broad a concept, it loses meaning and helpfulness. But you should not allow this to derail you. You still have every right to go ahead.

Go for the assessment. If you are autistic, you are whether you have the assessment or not, also regardless of whether or not the people around you agree with it or not.

What was the reason it was suggested to you? I had someone suggest years ago I might be dyslexic because of some consistent issues with my work, they were right and did me a massive favour by pointing me in that direction, self understanding as well as accessing help were invaluable (I was an adult).

I would go ahead, a lot of folk seem worse after a diagnosis because they stop masking and need to come to terms with it emotionally.

Ignore other people and how they present this is about you. In the future something could happen that makes life more difficult and that diagnosis (if indeed you are) if declared to your employer would give you additional rights such as having reasonable adjustments.

I was fine until peri menopause and then things really weren’t.

I don’t feel there is much point in an autism assessment as it won’t change anything. I have just accepted that I have autism and have found tools to help me. There is no treatment.
ADHD is different as there medications so diagnosis can assist in that way.
Many work places will make reasonable adjustments regardless of diagnosis. I don’t know about the legal standing on this.

Having the diagnosis (or not) won't actually change you. If are diagnosed with autism, you were autistic when you went in, you won't suddenly be unable to cope on the way out.

"If I go ahead it would be helpful to inspire others they can achieve their goals and get back to functioning outside the home with a good plan in place".

Doesn't that play into what you said about it not being seen as a disability anymore? People who are late diagnosed autistic are shouting about how amazing they are and how if they can do it everyone can. They can't though can they? The people diagnosed with autism before this boom in adults being assessed and self-diagnosis are often severely impacted and struggle with simple tasks, but here's Julie who sailed through mainstream education, understands all the social nuances required to adapt to different environments and hold down a job. It plays into the benefit bashing "stop PIP for people diagnosed with autism and ADHD".

Currently in peri menopause with stuff happening around my own children so am currently in the space of wanting to diagnose it in myself and almost every family member. The wheels are slightly coming off the coping mechanisms I have always used for life.

But I have the same concerns as you OP that my experience is not going to be improved by a diagnosis, I don't think it's just internalised ablism but more about masking being an ok strategy for some of us most of the time and to manage life in a way which brings us the most happiness. I find life hard, and internally yes have poor sense of my body and its feelings, and sometimes worry that I am not as skilful as I want to be in engaging with others.

But! I also find my coping mechanisms strengthen me, and are in themselves nourishing. Like someone would who deals with childhood trauma by reclaiming their body and agency doing marathon running, for example. Some bits hard, some bits the driver of excellence and satisfaction.

If I found masking totally draining I would want to stop doing it at all and I would feel the pull to deconstruct who I am now and build back a more authentic identity.

But I am a "lucky" ND person (if I am one) as my neurology has some parts that function well and they take over capacity for the parts that don't and overall I am ok. Like some ADHD bits compensate for autistic bits and vice versa. My way of being cracks a bit under strain but I have some ways of coping which pull me back to functioning and reasonable happiness.

So I have come to the conclusion for now that I will simply use kind strategies on myself, grow my awareness gently, think of myself as having strong ND traits but try and manage without an identity and accommodations - because actually that's ok for me, and it's a better outcome for my overall motivation than seeking the alternative right now.

So for you, you might want to cancel this one and just let it season a bit, maybe you'll feel more that you want to know in 6 months time. if you are ND by the way your emotions about it all might process quite slowly!

Having said that though I am also lucky in that I am successful enough to make my own accommodations and have a bit of agency in my life, e.g. working part time and things like that. So I may be fooling myself, I might have just opted out of all the difficult bits.

That's not true, a diagnosis would likely make her pain be taken less seriously. Diagnostic overshadowing is very common.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU so much for your comments. Every single one has been thought provoking literally sat in tears as it’s nice to hear people’s opinions and situations as didn’t know how much this weighing on me now.

I had been out of work for over 10 years due to having children then struggling with anxiety so returning to the workplace was huge as so different! I spent a lot of time with this colleague and her wife is a psychologist who diagnoses people every day. My son is autistic, his symptoms from a young age were so obvious but still never saw it in me just thought I was a naughty child, unpredictable adult, who’s socially awkward and suffers with anxiety and needs a lot of sleep and routine / things in place. I was telling my colleague about how much I hate being touched and a few other things and she just came out with it, shared some information and wasn’t at all surprised when they came back high.

Back then it was a wow moment …. Things suddenly made sense. All these years later I feel really happy and balanced. My manager is absolutely fabulous and has already made adjustments without even being asked as he does for everyone. My colleague and I all help each other as believe we all have strengths and weakness. For the first time I’m doing so well at work, smashing targets and top performer in team….I’ve found my calling. My kids and husband all happy. I know excerise, sleep, good food and listening to my body and its reactions work for me.

I think I’m scared that I don’t know how a yes or no might affect me mentally. But will also be sad to not know who I truly am and reject it.

I feel like I’m always on a cliff edge with my anxiety and a small push could knock me over the edge at anytime.

I think I’m going to just go for it and see what they say, unfortunately I rushed the forms but might just send them a list of my personal struggles to add to it all… will maybe take a little bit of time off to process whatever happens and then feel new and fresh for 2027!

Once again thank you all x

I know what you mean about the cliff edge - that's the fear that I felt beneath your OP - and it's good to be careful about your MH, but also good to not be limited by fear. You may well find this isn't a cliff edge but gives you firmer ground to move forward from when these initial concerns are overcome. I think it's good to send the follow-up list as much to help you clarify your thoughts as to help them get a better insight. This is all for you and it sounds like it will be worthwhile as you're being wise and self-aware in how you navigate the process so you're very likely to grow from it and feel the benefit even if it's not all easy in the moment. Take care and good luck with all of it.

Glad you've decided to go for it - honestly I think that's the right call, and you can always decide afterwards what, if anything, you do with the result. It doesn't have to change anything at work or at home unless you want it to.

I get the cliff edge feeling. In our house, living with autism and special needs in the family, the thing that's helped most is just understanding why things feel harder on some days, rather than blaming ourselves for it. A diagnosis didn't suddenly change who anyone was, it just gave us a bit more patience with each other and a better idea of what actually helps.

Try not to worry too much about rushing the forms - just be honest about how things are for you day to day, not how you think you should come across. And whatever the outcome is, a no doesn't mean you imagined it, and a yes doesn't mean you have to tell everyone or do anything differently straight away. Good luck, hope it goes okay next month.

Glad you've decided to go for it - honestly I think that's the right call, and you can always decide afterwards what, if anything, you do with the result. It doesn't have to change anything at work or at home unless you want it to.

I get the cliff edge feeling. In our house, living with autism and special needs in the family, the thing that's helped most is just understanding why things feel harder on some days, rather than blaming ourselves for it. A diagnosis didn't suddenly change who anyone was, it just gave us a bit more patience with each other and a better idea of what actually helps.

Try not to worry too much about rushing the forms - just be honest about how things are for you day to day, not how you think you should come across. And whatever the outcome is, a no doesn't mean you imagined it, and a yes doesn't mean you have to tell everyone or do anything differently straight away. Good luck, hope it goes okay next month.

Your concerns are understandable, but an assessment does not define your identity or limit your potential. A diagnosis can offer valuable self-understanding and help you access appropriate support when needed. You can continue pursuing your goals while making informed choices about your wellbeing and career.