Child being given sweets/cakes after nursery

[ZanyTealQuail]

DD who is 3 started a school nursery this year. Parents always send in treats for children's birthdays. This week there was bag with sweets one day, iced cupcakes another day, then today sugary fruit shoot type drink and another iced cupcake.

We don't usually give her very much super processed food/sugar but can't really say no as they put it all out where they pick up thier bookbags and everyone else gets one.

Is this normal when you get to school? I emailed the nursery to ask that they calm down a bit with the sugar, am I being a Scrooge?

It’s common for parents to send in something for a birthday, if there were 3 this week there likely wont be any more birthdays for weeks.

You are the parent, of course you can say no to your child actually having it. You don’t have to give it to them just because they’re given it at the door.

But yes I do think complaining to the nursery about things parents have sent in is a bit Scrooge like, you’re just giving them more unnecessary work to do dealing with your email for something that’s completely within your control.

Well you can say no. Working in a primary we do get some parents send sweets in for birthdays but there are a few children who know to say no thank you. As your child is younger a word with nursery staff should mean they move her past the treats and hand her over.

Of course you can say no. If you don't want her having them then maybe have a word with nursery but then accept the fact that she will likely feel left out.

It is scrooge like to decide that no one should get the treats because you don't want to say no.

Just put them in your cupboard when you get home! 🤦‍♀️

That amount of sugar is not ideal but the social ritual is more important, in my opinion. There was a little boy in my DD's nursery class whose parents asked for him not to have sugar, and I always really felt for him.

Yeah it's normal, if you don't want them to have it then tell your DC they can't eat them without checking with you.

There are weeks in my DC school where multiple kids have birthdays so there's sweets several days in a row and then ages without any so it all balances out. Complaining about children being given a small treat to celebrate a friends birthday is a bit mean.

Yes sorry I think you are being a bit of a scrooge. Obviously it’s up to you what you serve at home, but it isn’t even the nursery providing it, it’s parents for their DC’s birthday. If you want to tell your kid they can’t have then that’s your choice but to try to ruin a birthday tradition for everyone else and have it banned is pretty harsh!

Our school ended up stopping this after decades of allowing it. I wasn’t bothered either way. It’s a tiny packet of sweets, not crack. Just say no 🤷🏼‍♀️
Is your child allowed a birthday cake on her own birthday? Or any sweets at all?

At 3 this is far too young and it’s shouldn’t be on you to have to make your child feel crap for not being allowed it. FFS this world just wants to shove junk down our throats all the time.