I’m so scared I’ve got skin cancer

[Shatteredandhormonal]

I’ve suffered from seb dermatitis for years. I have times where I use nizarol and it settles down. I now realise there is a patch that has been there a year or more that doesn’t totally go away. It feels slightly rough and slightly flaky. Visited a GP a few weeks ago and he dismissed it and said nothing to worry about. I suffer from really health bad anxiety and currently watching my Dad die of SSC skin cancer. I decided to get a second opinion from a different GP who used a dermascope to take a look and said nothing concerning just dry skin and just try some hydrocortisone. I’m still not convinced and I’m having massive panic attacks that I’m going to have the same as my dad. Anyone have any experience ? Wondering if I should try a private dermatologist although they all seem booked until January from doing a ring around.

I had a mole that was query malignant melanoma. I was referred and the consultant said he would remove it and test it. I had it removed and worried myself stupid whilst waiting for the results. It came back as a completely benign harmless mole.

I’m sure @Shatteredandhormonal , if the doctor thought it was suspicious, you would be referred. I can completely understand your worries, especially in your situation with your dad. 💐

If two doctors have both given you an examination and concluded the same, what would you do if you saw a third and they said that it wasn't skin cancer to you? You would have had three professionals reinforce the same conclusion only you would have less money in your bank account. I think getting to grips with your health anxiety would be a much better way of spending that money on private support to help address this - would you consider that? It's natural to have more vigilance of certain health conditions having had a family experience such as yours, but it's not natural to fixate to the extent that you keep going to additional GPs to be told the same thing, where would that stop, third, fourth or fifth opinions? All it does is stoke the flames of the anxiety.

Thanks so much for replies. It is so hard to decide if my health anxiety is stopping me being logical but also know that a GP dismissed my dad’s concerns about his skin cancer .

Two doctors have looked, so the overwhelming chances are that you are fine.

What you need to think about is how many GPs you need to see before you start believing what they are telling you. What I know about health anxiety is that this number is infinite.
Health anxiety does not respond to reassurance. In fact, reassurance is making it worse. You need to learn distress tolerance techniques, not undergo endless investigations.
I don't know your father's story and what has and hasn't been dismissed and how many GPs he saw before getting his diagnosis. Your experience is unique from his and entirely unrelated.

There's a bit lot of health anxiety on here. It's a double edged sword isn't it, because you don't just live with the anxiety, you wear out the sympathy of family and friends. It's awful.

OP, in 2022 my partner was diagnosed with cancer. He's been in treatment since then, but will never be cancer free.

In 2023 my Dad was diagnosed and died in 3 weeks.

In 2024 my awesome mother was diagnosed and died within 2 weeks.

A very close friend and her wife both had diagnoses and were treated (breast and skin).

I have been left thinking it's only a matter of time before it's my turn, but I'm not anxious about it. If it happens, things will take their course and worrying won't change any of it.

What will be will be.

Sadly, I'm well aware this won't help your anxiety at all. I wish it did though.

@Isittimeformynapyet so sorry that you have so much sadness and illness to contend with. You are right I feel like everyone rolls their eyes now when I worry about something as my health anxiety has to latch on to something. My husband is in remission from throat cancer diagnosed 2 years ago so I feel cancer is a real possibility. I lost a close friend to ovarian cancer this year too. Unfortunately all these loved ones being diagnosed makes me even more terrified.

It is sad, but I've been practicing gratitude and acceptance. It's really helped.

I the case of my parents, the worst has happened, but I'm still here and I'm still happy! The thing I was most scared of has been and gone and I survived.

I use the serenity prayer a lot. You might already know it:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

I just repeated it (either out loud or silently) every time a negative thought entered my head.

And I wrote gratitude lists. When mum died I was truly grateful for the people who supported me (family, friends, medics, carers, hospice nurses), the fact that I was able to care for her at home for those two precious weeks, the fact that she didn't suffer too long, the fact that we'd loved each other and nothing was left unsaid, even just a sunny day - there was always something for my list.

God, I must sound so preachy! Sorry.

I think that in your circumstances it's more than natural to be anxious.

Firstly, I would try the hydrocortisone. If it goes away, it was nothing.

Secondly (and regardless of the treatment) I would go back to the original GP or see the 3rd GP, explain why you are particularly concerned, and ask for an explanation of exactly why they don't believe it is anything concerning.

Thirdly, if you are particularly concerned about your skin, can you book in a full skin check? (I'm not in the UK and don't know exactly how it works there.)

Lastly, don't give yourself a hard time. It's OK to be anxious and to acknowledge your very real fears. I'm sorry about your dad and your DH.