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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was a backhanded compliment?

11 replies

Butisntthatwhatyousaidlasttime · 01/11/2026 21:40

I posted some holiday photos on my social media and a school friend commented "You're getting better at taking photos! :)".

I didn't ask for her opinion and have never asked what she thinks of my photo-taking, I assume she thinks I used to post rubbish photos, that's fine but why not keep it to yourself?

It's not the end of the world but why do people feel they have to say everything that comes into their head?

OP posts:
Millytante · 01/11/2026 22:10

Butisntthatwhatyousaidlasttime · 01/11/2026 21:40

I posted some holiday photos on my social media and a school friend commented "You're getting better at taking photos! :)".

I didn't ask for her opinion and have never asked what she thinks of my photo-taking, I assume she thinks I used to post rubbish photos, that's fine but why not keep it to yourself?

It's not the end of the world but why do people feel they have to say everything that comes into their head?

Isn’t posting your snaps on social media quite specifically inviting opinions? (Just admiring ones, obviously, but them’s the risks with that game)

But whatever about that, I can’t imagine why you’d get the hump at that comment. Maybe your photos ARE getting better!
What she said is not the same as saying baldly that your previous pics have been shite.

chocolateflyingpenguin · 01/11/2026 22:28

Ouch, yes I would read that as catty. Perhaps it was intended with warmth but if so that's a very clumsy way of expressing it. That's the sort of thing my mother would have said to me.

SaraHoliday · 01/11/2026 22:30

Butisntthatwhatyousaidlasttime · 01/11/2026 21:40

I posted some holiday photos on my social media and a school friend commented "You're getting better at taking photos! :)".

I didn't ask for her opinion and have never asked what she thinks of my photo-taking, I assume she thinks I used to post rubbish photos, that's fine but why not keep it to yourself?

It's not the end of the world but why do people feel they have to say everything that comes into their head?

I'd take it as a compliment and think about something else.

Butisntthatwhatyousaidlasttime · 01/11/2026 22:31

Yes it can invite opinions but not necessarily about the quality of the photo taken surely? And people generally do post on Instagram, whether that be their children, holidays, weddings etc.
Another friend said once "oh I love this new blunt version of her!" About this friend 🤔

OP posts:
WitchesBritches · 01/11/2026 22:33

You didn't take a photo when you're all still at school and chop her head off did you?

watchingthishtread · 01/11/2026 22:36

Could she just mean that you're posting more photos than you used to and she's enjoying seeing them?

I might be grasping at straws.

NestofVapers · 01/11/2026 22:44

watchingthishtread · 01/11/2026 22:36

Could she just mean that you're posting more photos than you used to and she's enjoying seeing them?

I might be grasping at straws.

That's what I wondered. She really meant you're getting better at posting photos

JLou08 · 01/11/2026 22:55

Butisntthatwhatyousaidlasttime · 01/11/2026 22:31

Yes it can invite opinions but not necessarily about the quality of the photo taken surely? And people generally do post on Instagram, whether that be their children, holidays, weddings etc.
Another friend said once "oh I love this new blunt version of her!" About this friend 🤔

Instagram is all about posting good photos. I can't think of a more appropriate thing to comment on other than the quality of the photos.
You're giving this way to much head space. I'm going to guess you didn't really like her before the comment was made.

RedSheep26 · 01/11/2026 22:57

NBU. Social media isn’t a best photo competition, it’s about sharing updates from your life. Who does she think she is to pass judgement on your photo-taking skills? She sounds ridiculous and has embarrassed herself with that comment. I bet she’s one of those “just say it like it is” people who can dish it but absolutely can’t take it.

seahorsessky · 01/11/2026 23:35

Millytante · 01/11/2026 22:10

Isn’t posting your snaps on social media quite specifically inviting opinions? (Just admiring ones, obviously, but them’s the risks with that game)

But whatever about that, I can’t imagine why you’d get the hump at that comment. Maybe your photos ARE getting better!
What she said is not the same as saying baldly that your previous pics have been shite.

I thought she was implying that she is filtering better, in other words, saying she is now using techniques to make her look better than she does. Apart from edits, some people apparently take great care with how they stand/pose to look slimmer or whatever. I hope I'm wrong.

JoderTia · 02/11/2026 09:34

watchingthishtread · 01/11/2026 22:36

Could she just mean that you're posting more photos than you used to and she's enjoying seeing them?

I might be grasping at straws.

I originally read it as bitchy but now I’m thinking this poster is right. You’re getting better at taking pics and sharing things online for your friends to see maybe? Are you normally quiet on SM and have suddenly started sharing stuff and this friend approves?

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