To just give up

[ijustfuckinggiveup]

I can’t get my three year old dressed.

Feel like an absolute failure. No idea what to do.

What do they want to wear?
Unless you are rushing to make a flight, just have a cup of tea, let things calm down and try again without pressure.

ETA: or rushing to work, that's also unavoidable!

Are you fighting over what to wear, or wearing something at all? Can they choose the outfit? Mine used to refuse if she didn’t choose.

Say she can go out naked. And mean it. She will get three steps out the door and ask to get dressed

wish there was an option to delete a thread within 10 mins or something. She’s dressed now. Just feel like all she’s done all week is fight me, everything feels like a battle.

id sooner not dress her in the garden 😂

Glad it's sorted.

Try not to battle back, you just waste energy!

I took my daughter to school in her pants and top once because she wouldnt get dressed. (Year R) She didnt do it again.

I have the same issue with my 9 and 12 year olds.

They won’t get dressed either. Lying around on screens. The constant battle over fucking everything gets me down.

There is however a lovely period between 5 and 8 where they are generally pretty compliant.

I had to take my 5 yr old to school on her underwear last week. Could not get her dressed. Parked 2 mins from school, she was calmed.then, dressed her and walked the last few minutes. Sometimes getting clothes on children is absolutely mental!

You could try making it the absolute first thing to do before she starts her day. Out of bed, wash and dress. So no playing or running about until day clothes are on. That way of it gets angsty there's plenty of time to calm down before having to leave the house, and it establishes a habit.

Sometimes if my DS won’t get dressed, I wait a bit then without saying anything I dress him while he carries on with whatever he’s doing and he doesn’t even notice!

I used to put her favourite CBeebies or similar on and dress her while she watched. Not my finest parenting method but it worked.

“Not my finest parenting method” lol. This place.

I have a child with PDA and found that the strategies work really well with all children. They feel in control, but you engineer all choices. Works with adults too!
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/behaviour/demand-avoidance

You allow that?!?!

If I caught my 10 (twins) or 15 year old on a screen without having got dressed/showered and had breakfast I would take it off them for a week!

The teenager's phone is locked until he is up and showered.

My 10 year old DD likes a battle over everything but I just tell her the consequence if she doesn't follow basic instructions and let her choose. She LOVES the PlayStation so will generally have a tantrum, tell me I'm a horrible mean parent, then eventually calm down, apologise and do whatever basic task she was asked to do as she knows that otherwise no screen! I've decided not to get her a smart phone until she is 14.

@ijustfuckinggiveup 3 year olds are pushing boundaries. Decide what the boundaries and consequences are and be firm and consistent. It's exhausting but worth the battle. And be kind to yourself!

Ah well. You must be way better than me. Here 🥇 this is for you. Wear it with pride.

It's just parenting... Why would I need a medal?

Ah well, my 10 year old doesn’t battle with me over anything, she does what she’s asked first time, so maybe my parenting is better than yours? I’ll take your medal, thanks.

Ok.

My twins are ND so parenting children with autism/ADHD comes with its battles, but that's life. I do my best.

As I’m sure the PP you were quoting is doing too.