To think most Mumsnet users are more interested in social exchanges than intellectual exchanges?

[CleverTealGoose]

I’ve noticed that a lot of discussions on here aren’t really treated as opportunities to exchange information, ideas or perspectives.
Instead, people seem to approach posts as social exchanges. They immediately start looking for subtext, hidden motives or some sort of social positioning on the OP’s part.

Rather than engaging with the actual argument being made, they’ll conclude that the OP is having a dig at a particular demographic, trying to appear intellectually superior, showing off or attempting some kind of social flex. It sometimes feels as though the question isn’t “is there any merit to what this person is saying?” but “why would this person want to say this and what does it tell us about them?”

Obviously, context and motives can matter but surely it’s possible to discuss an idea without immediately turning it into a judgement about the person expressing it?

AIBU? To think this is why so many potentially interesting discussions on here descend into personal accusations rather than actual debate?

Are you Claude?

Rather neatly illustrating my point, aren’t you?

Yes.

The irony of the first comment haha. I agree OP. There was a similar thread made earlier on this kind of topic. Read a different thread earlier that had an honestly repulsive comments section that just descended into chaos (including from the OP!). I think a lot of women post here with the intention of derailing a thread so they can abuse other posters to let off some steam.

I don't even think it's about social exchange, they just look for any excuse to attack. If someone comes for me, online or otherwise, I'll give it them back tenfold, but don't go out of my way to be nasty to others for no reason. I suppose, that's just a lot of people for you. Deeply disappointing as I though that sort of behaviour ended in adolescence for most people, but I guess not.

Hmmm. I think a lot of original posts parading as inviting ‘intellectual exchange’ are disingenuous and trying to illicit a certain response, which they usually get.

There is very little genuine discussion and debate on MN, as is the case with most social media.

Are you including yourself in this OP or are you saying ‘I’m not like the other posters’?

It’s hard to tell?

That’s rather the point I’m making. Instead of engaging with the observation itself, you’re trying to establish whether I’m positioning myself as different from or superior to other posters.

Excatly..

Yes that’s exactly what I’m trying to do before deciding whether to engage fully.

What on earth is wrong with that?

Given the way Mumsnet often is, especially on a Friday night, I think this is quite sensible.

I haven’t said there’s anything inherently wrong with it. I’m observing that people often prioritise establishing the perceived motives or social positioning of the person making an argument over engaging with the substance of the argument itself. You’ve just explained why you do precisely that, which is interesting in itself.

Genuine disinterested debate type OPs are actually pretty rare on MN? Usually either OP has an agenda, and people are wary of being Russian bot fodder, or it's something actually going on in the OP's life and people want to know the backstory before they can reasonably comment.

I agree that a minority of posters don't have reasonable motives though, and are just nasty. Same as in real life. But most are just understandably sceptical of what they read online.

I think your idea of social exchange and my idea is very different OP! To me, a social exchange is general chit chat like TV shows, clothes, holidays, or maybe asking for advice on something. I came on to post that this is definitely what I’m looking for, rather than anything more intellectual. I do know exactly what you mean by some posters being unnecessarily aggressive, but I wouldn’t have framed that situation as being a social exchange.

I think that’s a fair point and I agree that some scepticism is warranted, particularly online. However, I think there’s a distinction between healthy scepticism and automatically approaching a discussion as an exercise in deciphering the OP’s motives or social positioning.

Even if someone does have an agenda, that doesn’t necessarily invalidate the argument they’re making. Surely it’s possible to examine the merits of an idea independently of our assumptions about the person expressing it? My broader point is that the latter often seems to take precedence over the former on here.

Such is human nature, OP!

But there are some really clever interesting posters on here, though fewer than there used to be. You just have to ignore the wind-up merchants.

Actually, I think it’s healthier to stay on the parts of the forum that are gentler and more purely social. Books, pets, etc. Any sort of debate tends to lead to pouring scorn on the general intelligence of your opponent and insulting their comprehension skills for a certain kind of poster. Or, as you say, accusations about motive.

I don’t think this is the place to discuss big ideas, although there are interesting threads that are exceptions to that and many knowledgeable and measured posters.