Sick leave after maternity leave

[Legoletsgo]

Long story short I had a really difficult birth with my second DC which resulted in a significant severe birth injury. For the first 6 months I was in and out of hospital almost weekly and had to live with a ‘bag’. Then I had a reconstructive surgery which was major surgery and had a two month recovery period, so until my baby was 8 months old I was having a lot of medical issues and not really able to live normally.

As a result of this I have been diagnosed with PND, PTSD and health anxiety. I am under the care of the perinatal mental health team receiving therapy and have a mental health nurse who visits me biweekly.

I am due to return to work in 8 weeks, full time. My nurse has offered to endorse a fit note for another month with a view to review after this as she doesn’t think I will be ready to return. I don’t feel ready, I am very up and down but I feel guilty and lazy accepting the note.

My DH and family think I might be prolonging the inevitable. I can see some ways the time would help me. My baby is due to start nursery the same week I return and I feel extra time would ease pressure and overwhelm on this time which I am already anxious about. My baby turns 1 around the time I return, he was born at Christmas and this time of year is so triggering already to me that I’m worried I won’t cope. I also have a toddler and since baby was born I have not really had a single day to myself to really process what happened. I don’t sleep due to the anxiety and this would help me rest. All that is aside from the fact I still struggle a lot with the depression and some days I am in tears all day.

WIBU to take extra time? I can’t phase my return as I had to use annual leave to cover the extra time I have taken on maternity leave already, as I had to use SPL and shorten my leave so my DH could care for our DCs after my surgery.

Take the extra time and use it productively to optimise your health and wellbeing for when you do go back.

I’m really sorry you had such a horrible experience.

Have you don’t any keeping in touch days yet OP? Can you afford to leave your job for a while if needed?

Take the sick note, and another if necessary especially if you had to give up some of your leave to cover SPL. Take all the time you need.

Please take the medical leave, you need it and it’s what it’s there for, you’ve been through such an ordeal and I’m so sorry. I really hope things get better soon. Take care x

I did a couple back earlier this year from home but to be honest until I had surgery I was not able to or confident to spend a day at work due to my bag. Since my surgery I have really wanted to soak up every moment with my baby as I feel I’ve missed so much.

No I can’t afford to leave my job.

Sorry to hear you’ve been through such an awful time.

Your MH professional clearly thinks you need more recovery time. Please take her advice and take the Fit note.

Your return to work will be much more successful when you’re more recovered.

Could it be worth trying a keeping in touch day in the next few weeks before your leave ends? It may help with reassuring you a bit when you do go back. And then I would absolutely take sick leave if you need it. And then phase return could make sense, I no you don’t have annual leave for it but if you are returning from sickness hopefully they will let you take reduced pay while phasing back in

Take the time! 4-6 weeks won’t make a difference at work but it can do wonders for you. Get into the nursery routine during that time and slowly integrate yourself back to work.

Take the sick note and plan what you will do for a month to help you rest and heal. Will both kids be in nursery some of the time when little one starts? I think being quite healed and having some time with both kids in nursery means that the next month can be for you to focus on healing from injury and trauma which you probably won't have been able to do with the kids at home. I think they you need to plan your time a bit. Rest. relax, sleep and exercise. How will you properly fit those in to maximise your time off?

You shouldn't feel guilty or lazy, that's your postnatal depression speaking. Take the sick note and take the time you need to feel mentally and physically recovered as much as possible before you go back to the daily grind. You've been through so much.

I agree with this.

Your MH professional thinks you need the extra couple of weeks but use this time to still put DC in nursery, get your in a routine of getting up and out and juggling two DC.

You don't have to use the full month of the fit note if you feel ready to phase back to work but likewise it helps you take a little more time which your nurse thinks you need

Good luck. It's hard going back after mat leave but with your experience I can see it could be more difficult.

Sorry to hear you’ve had such an awful time of it, I would take the sick leave and use the time to recover. It might also be worth looking into some emdr therapy, for your ptsd, I found it so helpful. I had it for a very traumatic first birth where I had signifant tearing (not to your extent but 3/4th degree), it helped a lot.

Yes both will be in nursery 3 days per week, this year I have always had my baby with me so to be honest I haven’t done much recuperation at all as they are very full on! Somehow even after my major reconstruction surgery I ended up in Tesco the week later buying bits for dinner with a catheter in!

Thank you I have just started EMDR therapy. I’m sorry you had a bad experience too. Mine actually happened during a planned caesarean.

You are not well. Please take the extra time that you need. As an employer, I would absolutely want you to do that without feeling under any pressure.

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a difficult experience.

Definitely take the extra time - you have been through something incredibly traumatic and need time to heal a little more mentally just as you did physically.

Why would you not take the time? Put yourself first. I am sorry you've had such a difficult time

All your family know you a damn sight better than us and they all think you should ease yourself back in to work

Your mental health professional has suggested you take a sick note which they wouldn’t have done if they didn’t think you need it. I would take it to give yourself some time to process everything which has happened. What I would suggest though is that you start to build a regular routine during this time if you can now you have had the surgery and your DC is staring nursery. This will help you for when you do go back to work and the daily routine won’t be such a shock having I’m sure been living and sometimes just surviving day by day.

it’s important that you do take some time just for you after going through such a traumatic time and give yourself some time to properly process what has happened but also how far you have come in this 12 months. Some self care and being kind to yourself is important.

No they don’t, they think I’m just using the time to delay the inevitable, which is why I’m a bit conflicted. As I’m ‘fixed’ they are not sure why I can’t move on.

@Legoletsgo

You say "I can’t phase my return as I had to use annual leave to cover the extra time I have taken on maternity leave already".

Can you speak to your employer's HR department about a phased return to work. Where I work employees don't need to use annual leave to cover the non-working element of a phased return period. I worked short days on my return to work after a post-op recovery period off work but I was paid for the full day. It's the standard route back to working full days/weeks after a fortnight or so.

And the medical professional does not

Yes but for the husband and family to think otherwise - there must be a reason

Sounds like you have husband and family issues then

I requested this but they said it would only be feasible if I had been on sick leave not maternity leave, so that’s another potential reason to take the time. To be honest HR have not been very communicative although they do know what has gone on.

I guess I’m worried how it will look to my employer. They are a big employer and I’ve worked there 8 years, never had a significant period of sick leave other than the odd day here and there.