Would you leave this community for a larger home?

[LadyInBluee]

We moved into a small development of 9 new build houses 6 years ago. We have a young family and there are two other young families on the cul de sac. Our children have grown up together and we have become extremely good friends with the neighbours and there’s an easiness to everything - the children play together outside nearly every day. Even as an adult we can just step outside and have a friendly chat or pop in somewhere for a tea, it feels as close to family as non family could really.

the downside is we are 3 miles from everything - we have to drive to anything. Our eldest child is 9 - she currently adores riding her bike with her friends but I’m thinking as she gets older independence will mean more to her. Our house is small we can make it work but feel cramped. I have a new job and so does DH since we bought this house - we can now afford to buy a house double the size within a 10 minute walk of everything in the very nice local town. I’ve seen a house we both really like but we would lose that day to day contact and playing out. I’m most worried about our 9 year old. Our other daughter is 2 so won’t be affected.

I like the idea of being able to walk everywhere but we will be giving up a picturesque country location and our lovely neighbours and a feeling of safety and community that gives me. AIBU to consider moving?aib

I think it's time to move into the bigger house, so you have more space for your family now they are getting older.

It sounds lovely where you are.
A lovely friendly community where people just pop in and out of each other's house is a rare thing these days.

If you're all happy now, why not just postpone the decision a year or so?

It is lovely where we are. I worry that by delaying things we are just giving our children less time to settle into the new house and prolonging the inevitable but I don’t know.

Are you thinking about secondary schools yet? It would be nice to move and get settled where you have a good school.

You’ll regret not moving when the kids are older and you have to drive them everywhere !!

That sounds like a lovely set-up to grow up in. I wouldn’t leave that for a bigger house alone, but the fact you need to drive everywhere is a real disadvantage. Would you be able to wait a couple of years so your elder daughter gets to the end of primary school in the current situation? A shame to give it up when it still suits her so well. Then you can move into town for the teen years.

It’s really hard. We live in a small house, with wonderful neighbours who are also parents at our DC’s school, in the neighbouring streets - it’s like living in a village even though we’re in a small city! Popping in and out, taking each other’s DC to clubs or home from the park, all at the playground together each day after school.

It is a rare thing. I think you’ll miss it terribly if you move. Like a pp says, maybe hold off for a year. And see whether the economy has tanked further in the meantime.

The neighbours around you may all be reaching a similar stage to you and may be having the same thoughts if they have children of a similar age. You may stay put and find that actually, your close neighbours start to move on and you'll wish you'd moved too. Maybe not, but who knows?

Surely you can remain close friends with the others? Maybe not same level of nipping in and out but meet up at least a couple times a month? It'll involve you both keeping active communication but if you've got enough in common beyond geography then it'll still be a meaningful friendship.

And you might make another with your new neighbours? Though don't cross anything on that. You're often lucky just to have anonymous but distant friendly nod neighbours who are quiet.

We lived rurally and drove DS everywhere. It was time consuming and often annoying BUT it did mean he didn't have too much opportunity to get into trouble as we always knew where he was as he needed picking up.

Also worth bearing in mind that as your neighbours kids age, they will also be requiring lifts. We lift shared a lot which spread the load.