Feeling guilty for taking sick leave.... is it going to make things worse...

[MyJustLemonSheep]

Putting this here as just need to vent, nothing will change no matter what I do.

Band 8a NHS role - for the past few months I've been expected to cover my own role and a vacant role that's the same as mine but in another part of the Trust. Both full time roles(!) At first I was told it would just be providing essential support but I've pretty much been treated all along as if I am full-time in both teams, with the workload to match. I'm even on the structure document as doing both roles (I mean, how?!). I've raised this over and over again and was assured that we would have a meeting with my line manager and both the managers who were giving me the work...

First time one of them didn't show - no apologies, no follow up, nothing. Couldn't get it rearranged in the diary for weeks - second time - cancelled last minute with no explanation. Then a conversation with my boss which indicated they weren't sure why I was so overloaded/overwhelmed! I did highlight that others doing my role for only one service are stressed re workload and everything they do I'm doing twice over..

My follow up call with my line manager then never happened (he did have a legit excuse). So from today I've been signed off sick- my GP actually told me to take some time weeks ago but I held on. I emailed my boss and explained and he replied referring only to last week's call and not the wider meeting - also at no point did he say e.g. I hope you're ok, sorry to hear that, take the time you need, etc.

I plan to be off for maybe six weeks but who am I kidding, nothing will change when I go back. My job is quite niche as well so there are barely any opportunities to move on to, and I've had a couple of interview of late but it's always almost but not quite the best candidate.

I should add as well that I am autistic, menopausal (surgical hysterectomy last year which has still left me with residual endometriosis which has currently flared up) and I've just discovered my mum likely has a terminal illness (only child, dad died when I was a teenager)

I really don't think I'm being unreasonable in this situation but why am I feeling like I am!!!!????

Yanbu.
Stay off sick until you have recovered. When you are up to it, ask for a back to work meeting and hold a firm line that you can return to ONE full time role, not both, and you cannot and will not do both any more.

Are you in a union?

Take 4-6 months - that way they have to cover your role so at least some of the work will be done. Do you have a HR 27 for autism?

6 weeks may not be long enough to get your mental health straightened out so perhaps don’t put a time limit on it for now. When you’re ready to, you could engage with your Union rep or with a solicitor specialising in work place disputes to negotiate your return to work on your behalf.
It doesn’t sound like the issue will resolve itself, as you say they couldn’t understand why you were overwhelmed/ overloaded. Having someone to advocate for you is useful in public sector services as there’s so much bureaucracy & mismanagement.

@KindlySurfiingPlatypus no not in a union, I had a bad experience with them in a previous role so joined up again

@Idelicious I haven't seen the GP yet but I'll be honest they'll probably sign me off for as long as I ask them to given they've previously suggested taking time off

@TwinklyRoseTurtle I don't want to take too much as it's up to six months paid in a rolling 12 month and until I know more about my mum's prognosis I don't know how much more time I might need in relation to her illness....I've not heard of a HR 27? I do have reasonable adjustments in place but these are minimal as it's all I've needed

Take as long as you need. When you do come back learn the magic phrase "I am at capacity". So you do your main full time role and you tell the manager of the other service you are covering that you are providing essential support. Every time email with more work comes in you say "I am providing essential support only. This is not essential and I don't have capacity to do this task". Repeat at nauseam. They will eventually get the message.

One can self-certify for 7 days. Op clearly said she is planning to be off for six weeks not that she's been signed off for six weeks.

What was the deleted message?

Just done my daily check of NHS Jobs and there's actually one I want to apply for and would fit the criteria - maybe it's a sign! Only issue is I would be office based rather than WFH so would be slightly worse off after petrol money (same salary) but it's only a 22 mile round trip

Ok semantics, currently self-certifying but then will be officially signed off

I assume you’re not a nurse/midwife/AHP if you are not in a union. I suggest you join one today (there might be a time lapse between joining and being entitled to their services)
If you can access your work emails from home then I would print all the evidence you can of asking for meetings, meetings being cancelled, telling them you are struggling etc.
I would also ask your manager to refer you to occupational health.