What activities do your 4/5 year olds do?

[filchscat]

Dd is 4 and just started reception. I will be enrolling her in swimming lessons soon but other than that she doesn’t do any clubs or activities. We did lots of baby groups and toddler classes when she was younger but obviously she’s grown out of those.

The issue is that her older sibling has quite a full on hobby that often takes up a lot of our weekends. If she started a weekend activity dh and i would simply have to divide and conquer but we all actually really enjoy watching ds hobby as a family. It can involve a lot of travel and sometimes we make a day of it while we’re away.

That being said i’m aware she shouldn’t miss out because of her brothers hobby. I’m thinking of dance or gymnastics at the moment just to give her a chance to try them. Maybe brownies when she’s older.

30 years in Early Years education here.
Swimming is enough at 4.
There is no need to over schedule her.
She is so little and is coping with starting school.
Lots of organised clubs would just cause her and the whole family stress more than anything.
School, play dates and swimming lessons is plenty at her age

Ah thank you that’s kind of what i wanted to hear! Her brothers sport is really full on and we do all like to go watch (including dd). Swimming can be done during the week so that would be better. I just don’t want her to miss out on things.

Mine did swimming and martial arts. The martial arts was great as they’ve carried it on into tween/teen years and are almost black belts now. I couldn’t be more proud.

They did gymnastics for a bit but gave it up.

She could do rainbows or squirrels.

Personally I don't think it's fair if she has an older sibling that she doesn't get chance to do something because of this. When did he start his hobby? If he was in year 1 or upwards then I think fair enough to have that as a baseline of we won't do clubs til she is a bit older. However if brother was enrolled in football/rugby/gymnastics when he was the same age I think it's unfair she misses out.

What is the current situation when he has his club anyway? Is it not still a divide and conquer issue of one parents goes with him to that and the other stays home with DD? From how it sounds she gets dragged along to his hobby with the excuse of 'making a day of it after' which doesn't sound fair.

We have membership to a trampoline park so we go once every couple of weekends and will go in the school holidays (only just started reception)

Park run every Sunday.

no formal activities or classes at all, at this point. He’s honestly too fickle to show vested interest in one thing long term and I don’t want us both to be miserable ‘making’ him go to something I’ve paid for if he doesn’t fancy it one week or he’s tired etc.

The weekly park run has been consistent mind you! But that’s a great free activity and no one minds if we skip a week.

I taught him to swim over the summer but he will need proper lessons in that, they’re just so pricey.

At 4 they did a dance class Wednesday after nursey at 3 pm foran hour. And a music play group 45 minutes at the local church Saturday morning - you didn't commit to it. Ot was just join and paid

Swimming at 4 yo was too expensive we thought. They learn faster a bit older. We did go as a family to the local pools.

At 6 yo they were signed up for cubs.

We did swimming in the holidays from 7 yo. They did fast track courses. Worked brillant.

Swimming, dance and drama, gymnastics, horse riding

Squirrels (mixed) abd Rainbows (girls) bith start at 4

My 3 yo does ballet and swimming. Swimming at my instigating dance at hers.

I think you need to be careful that your younger child doesn't miss out because of their sibling.

Ours does swimming, dance and skating. The swimming is more focused on being physiotherapy, rather than hugely improving swimming skills. If her activity clashes with her older brothers we just do one parent one child that day, or the oldest is dropped off early to his and picked up a bit later while one of us takes your youngest to her activity.

Mine do beavers (6) squirrels (4) swimming and park run

The issue is that her older sibling has quite a full on hobby that often takes up a lot of our weekends. If she started a weekend activity dh and i would simply have to divide and conquer but we all actually really enjoy watching ds hobby as a family. It can involve a lot of travel and sometimes we make a day of it while we’re away.

This is really, really unfair on dd. I guarantee you, she does not always want to go watching him all weekend, or won't when shes a bit older. Yes you often do have to divide and conquer. She deserves opportunity as much as he does.

So your dd can't have a full on hobby at weekends?

She doesn't need this at 4 yo but you really need to sort how 1 child can have 100% and 1 child 0% at weekends.

I'm a reception teacher and 100% agree. If parents/friends ask me, I say "no clubs until at least Christmas". They've got enough on their little plates with starting school.
There's a time and a place to start clubs, and the first term of primary school isn't it.

Remember they're all different. I've known some small kids that get bored very easily and struggle to entertain themselves so they go to lots of activities. Others need more down time and either play at home or do activities more ad hoc. Ideally you do what suits your child.

At 4/5 she was in the last year of the wonderful Little Kickers first thing on a Saturday morning. It was a lovely special thing she did with DH, with a drink at the cafe afterwards.

She did Beginners Ballet after school one day.

She joined in with Mini Rugby at 5ish - her brother was playing with the Under 8s, so we were at the club anyway and she knew lots of the children + adults.

We had done a lot of baby swimming when she was 2/3/4 - we would swim as a family once a week when she was 5, but she didn’t do proper stroke training until she was 6ish.

Nothing school is tiring enough

Does she really want to watch her brother every week, i suggest rather than organised activities, every other weekend ish one of you takes dd to a drop in type activity and then you can see what she enjoys. She shouldn’t be dragged around after her brother every week

I agree with this.

To me there is the argument she is young and doesn't need much else going on which would be fine if she wasn't having to be dragged around to her brother's activities (which OP mentions involve some travel).
If the weekends were just at home resting then fair enough, but to me it seems OP is looking for reasons to continue to focus on the eldest child and not bother with the youngest.

I agree that it’s unfair. That’s why I posted. See how many times i’ve mentioned it. But as other pp have said, i also don’t want to overload her for the sake of it. She is at an age where she is genuinely happy to go watch big brother play football and there are often other kids for her to play with/a park/a chance to get outside and have a bacon butty etc. I know as time goes on this won’t always be the case and she will develop her own interests. I suppose i’m trying to gauge when that time may be.

Oh yes i definitely don’t care about my youngest. That’s why i’m giving it so much headspace. You can give an opinion or idea without being personal and offensive you know.

The point is you asked whether she needs to do something which as others have said no, at that age they have enough going on with starting school but as you then say you travel around chasing your son's hobby that goes against the idea that she isn't busy over the weekend as it sounds like she still has to get up and then fit in with her brother. To me it would be better if she was busy doing something for her rather than being expected to entertain herself with other siblings who are also taken to siblings hobbies.
How will she get chance to develop her own hobbies and interests if she isn't given the chance to?
Of course she is going to be ok at the moment doing these things and seem happy enough, but that will only last so long and surely she will begin to notice weekends revolve around her brother and not her (again it sounds like it's both days of the weekend as you said swimming was in the week so would fit in with the current arrangements).

As I said earlier, how old was her brother when he started his hobbies? If he was reception age then I would definitely look into her starting something. If year 1 then I would start looking and put her name down if it's rainbows you want to try as the waiting lists for that can be long.

The fact there is you and your DH should make it easier to manage taking both children to different places and it's not like you would have to ask your son to sacrifice his hobby for your DD as you are a single parent trying to be in two places.

DC1 has just turned 6 and has a 1 hour a week hobby after school.

DC2 is nearly 3 and doesn gymnastics once a week.

Neither are doing swimming as both have grommets.

That’s enough for now. No time for me and I myself actually lack a hobby.

I think at 4 my dd did gymnastics, swimming, dance and Rainbows.

We have 2 dc, you just have to divide and conquer to get it all done IME, the eldest child having been there first can't really be considered when offering hobbies.

I think swimming is enough and it sounds like watching DS is fun for her now so stick with it until she shows signs of it being boring or wanting to do her own thing. We found it was more like age 7 before they needed any other clubs. They did do an after school club one day a week from year 1 but that was usually just an hour of gym/dance/football so not a massive amount of time. See what interests she develops and what friends are doing too.