Shitty men starting posts on here - please, just don't engage!

[LongTallTally]

There are two types of threads which, in my opinion, we just should not engage with in any way.

One is men who are confessing to shitty behaviour. You do not get to come here to a woman-oriented forum and tell us you feel bad about cheating on your wife. We do not care what you feel about your shoddy behaviour and it is not our job to help you sort yourself out.

The other is men telling us about their wife's shitty behaviour.

Firstly, we only have your word for it. So many of us have heard the lines about "my wife doesn't understand me" and " the crazy ex" and the story sounds very different when you see it from the wife's viewpoint.

Secondly, why are these men coming to a predominantly female forum to talk about their wife's shortcomings? So that they can tell themselves that not only are they right, the whole of womankind agrees they are in the right.

It's a terrible dynamic and women get sucked into it and end up doing other women a disservice.

What these men need to do is find other men to discuss their relationships with. There are relationship boards on Reddit that are open to men and women. Why aren't they there? Because in a tale as old as time, they have come here looking for emotional support from women.

Honestly, we need to just not engage and let those threads quietly fade away.

Oh I haven't noticed them.

I think if you ignored all examples of fuckwittery here (male and female) you wouldn't have a lot left.

Totally agree with you OP.
When I read a lot of these threads started by guys I have to remind myself i'm not actually on Reddit rather than MN.
There has been an increasing number of them and it surprises me the number of pp who actually engage with the OP.
It feels as though MN is being deliberately targeted. I know this has been done " for a laugh" in the past.

Soon as I read a thread by a man, it always says he does all the housework and parenting, he gives his wife a shit ton of down time, he's wonderful she's a slattern.

Then bam, she won't give him sex, even though he's the best male human to have walked the planet. But the crux is she won't shag him.

Then 10 posts in, his masks slips and the truth of who he REALLY is, slips out and he starts insulting other posters.

You might as well say: don't respond to any posts by a man that make it clear he is a man. Men can post and get responses, but just as humans, not as men.

I agree with this.

Most of the men who post on mumsnet are bellends - there are a couple of regular male posters i dont mind though, they're alright

But the men like this are the equivalent to men who run their wives down at the office to other women

Like, oh I'm such a good man, my wife doesn't clean or cook well, I am so tired

Or the men who hang with beautiful women, who firmly class him as a friend, so he dates 'less hot' women and treats them like shit

I immediately judge a man like this, and I'm always right, they're always absolute losers

I reckon a lot of these type of posts are rage bait to increase traffic. There's one now by some supposed douche bag who's supposedly had a 9 month affair and want MN to tell him if he should tell his wife or continue being a douche bag.

If he exists I'll give you the money myself.

MN scraping the barrel if these posts are for traffic and hence advertising revenue.

Time to deregister!

I actually think some of these posts are fishing for tactics on how to best to present their story to new women. Like a test run before dating or looking for an affair partner.

They can do it anonymously and try out different approaches to see what works.

It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if this were the case. Why else present a story in which you've done a shitty thing to your wife to a forum full of women?

I’m convinced half these men post on here knowing full well their wives will see it. They’re just so spectacularly confident in their own brilliance that they genuinely expect hundreds of strangers to queue up to tell them what absolute saints they are and how lucky their dreadful wives are to have them.

I'm not criticising men on Mumsnet per se, though I do wonder, if they are reasonable human beings, should they perhaps leave this as a women's space and go and create a working equivalent male one. But they don't upset me just by being here.

This is not a TATT, but it was prompted by the unbelievable thread about a man feeling bad about his affair that his wife doesn't know about. I was about to post on it saying , just fuck off, then realised I didn't want to give his post further traffic. Hence this thread.

And the ones who come on moaning about their wives - just not here, mate. Go and bend your mates' ears. We don't want to hear it.