AIBU to feel old?

[Oldbaglady46]

Does anyone else feel like this? I was expecting to feel old after menopause but not before really, and it’s hit so quickly! My hips ache, my hair is gray, I have old person’s hands. In my early 40s I basically felt the same as in my 30s but now I’m mid 40s I feel like I’m in my 50s! And I am a healthy weight, don’t drink or smoke, am active etc. Is this normal?

Could be early menopause... I know several women who started menopause at 43-44.

Get yourself to the GP. Peri menopause hit me like a tonne of bricks in my mid 40s. Dry skin, joint pain, poor sleep... It's not just hot flushes!

No, I said mid 40s. I am 46.

46? Sounds like the start of menopause.

I agree with others that you should see your gp to see what can be done. But I just wanted to say that I’m mid sixties and felt so much worse in my early fifties than I do now. I think once you get menopause out of the way you feel so much better.

Grey hair at 46 is completely normal

Ageing (or at least the feeling and appearance of ageing) isn't a straight line- I think you can go along feeling much the same for years and then suddenly age (in terms of appearance) 5 years in a month. The French call this a coup de vieux.

now I’m mid 40s I feel like I’m in my 50s!

Well, this doesn't seem that dramatic a claim given that you are 46. You feel about 4 years older than you are. Grey hair is completely normal in your 40s, likewise ageing hands.

What exercise do you do? If you are getting hip pain you might want to think about training to increase strength and flexibility. Exercise (especially with heavy weights) makes a huge difference as you get older.

Yes, I think this is it. From having basically no signs of aging I’ve gone to having several very quickly and it has taken me by surprise. I run, walk or cycle daily. I am also very slim naturally which I don’t think helps as I look scrawny now whereas a year ago I would have described myself as slim! Trying to improve this with strength training and eating more protein. My Dr. has provided some exercises for the hip pain.

Yes, agree with this- ageing isn’t linear! I lost my parents quite prematurely (in my mid 30s) and the stress of that awful year aged me quite a lot quite quickly. Then mid-40s I had another ‘drop’. I went from 20/20 vision to needing quite strong reading glasses in a very short space of time. I also started getting lots of dental problems, and started looking older. It all seemed to happen quickly. I seem to have plateaued a bit now though so I’m making the most of that and trying not to think about when the next sudden changes will happen!

The only pain I have is in my wrists and hands and it is mild and intermittent. No pain at all in back, hips or knees and I thank weight training and yoga for that.

I think if you’re feeling old now then something is up. Get your hair dyed, supplements etc

Have you seen this news from a couple of years ago @Oldbaglady46 ? It’s a recognised thing that people age in ‘bursts’ rather than a gradual linear process.

www.theguardian.com/science/article/2024/aug/14/scientists-find-humans-age-dramatically-in-two-bursts-at-44-then-60-aging-not-slow-and-steady

I also had 20/20 vision and have needed to get reading glasses in the last year. So that and the gray hair, I suddenly don’t look like myself anymore.

A lot of people start with health issues at this time. Yes, even those who exercise lots, eat well etc. What I hate is when people blame you, or act like it's a choice. Obviously try things to help, but whether you put on weight/have pain etc isn't your fault, and you can seek the same remedies as another person and still find no relief.

Hip pain can be a hormonal symptom of the menopause and can be helped with HRT. Took me 20 years of horrible hip pain (GTPS) to find this out. Exercises may help a little but won't cure it.

Read Bella Figura by Kamin Mohammadi.

Lots of tips and advice for this stage of life all wrapped up in a beautiful book set in Italy.

My hips ache - this is likely down to reducing oestrogen levels as you get closer to menopause. I had terrible joint pain that hrt 'cured'
My hair is grey - you are 46 so it's completely normal to have grey, or at least some grey hair,
I have old person’s hands - you have a 46 year olds hand which not surprisingly look a lot older than a 21 year olds. Buy some good hand cream.

What you're experiencing is completely normal OP.

Also, I'm 10 years older than you and don't feel really any different to how I felt in my 30's or 40's so there's no reason why you would 'feel' old in your 50s as you expect to. I mean, you'll look older, but if you're fit and healthy there's no reason why mentally you should feel older if you see what I mean.

I was the same for a couple of years even though I have always been very active. I think once the hormones stabilize you start to feel better.

I was like you active and slim turned into scrawny and tired. I had to change the way i exercise as in stacy sims method. I used to do loads of cardio and often work out fasted. Now i lift heavy full body 3x a week, hit session once or twice and plenty of walking.

I also upped my protein a lot, fuel before and after workout and otherwise eat med type diet veg, olive oil, seeds. My body totally changed and my upper half that has always looked too skinny looks strong and toned. My energy levels have gone up massively and I am more body confident than I have ever been. I am 50 now.

So hang in there its not unusual to have a blip at this age especially if you have always been active. Look at the stacy sims resreach. You are probably doing too much zone 3 cardio and not eating enough protein and at the right time.

Thanks for sharing ❤️

I dye my hair and use hand cream but I know what lurks beneath 😆

Psssss't! About 'old lady hands'. Look around and you will see no end of old women who wear no make-up, dress for comfort and yet have manicured nails. I am now one of them. My nails were thin, weak, they tore often and they resembled corduroy. Now I have short, round acrylic nails. I generally don't get polish applied in the salon as I don't like the faff. My nails are smooth and I shine them with a Leighton Denny buffer. They look like natural healthy nails, and it's the nails that make the difference. It's like a facelift for your hands. You're welcome.