To think women will die because of this? DV related

[EbenezerBad]

My ex assaulted me and our children six weeks ago, and was bailed to stay away from the house (joint mortgage). Bail was due to end on 3rd Nov.

I have applied for a protective order, but was told an emergency one wouldn’t go through as bail conditions were in place. Hearing was set for 2nd Nov.

Last night (Saturday) at 10pm I had an email from the police to say all charges had been dropped due to lack of evidence and bail was removed immediately.

I can’t get an emergency protective order until Monday at the earliest, leaving me and the children completely unprotected until then. He now has the legal right to enter the home whenever he likes, and if I obstruct access, I can be arrested.

AIBU? I don’t think this should be allowed.

I’m just stunned that they’ve dropped it all with no notice and on a weekend. I don’t even know who to complain to. My MP I guess? It seems so dangerous.

Calling the Emergency Duty Team of local Social Services may help. It might also be worth emailing your children's teachers. It's the weekend, but lots of people check their inboxes outside of work to check for any potential issues that may need prompt attention on Monday.

Thinking of you 😊

Can you leave keys in locks in the meantime to stop them being opened? Stay quiet and claim ignorance if he comes round trying to gain access? If he becomes aggressive record it on your phone. If he calls police just open the door to them (although I reckon they'll fob him off that its a civil issue) and either claim you didn't realise it he was trying to gain access if he was being civil, mention you have anxiety since you and your children were attacked so you keep your keys in the door, or say you were frightened for your safety if he wasn't? Can you get a male relative to stay with you?

However I'm not legally trained this is just what I would do, hopefully someone more knowledgeable will come along and mention if my advice is BS or would get you into trouble. Xx

Really sorry you're going through this OP. Hope you and the kids get the protection you need. Xx

Legal or not I would look at ways to prevent him entering the house over the weekend OP, put chains on doors if you have them, or doorstops/chairs under door handles etc, whatever you can find to keep him out. The worst he can do (legally at least) is call the police and I would be surprised if they facilitate his access to the house/you in these circumstances, especially if they know you're applying for an emergency order on Monday as the optics for them would be awful if anything happened to you.

Any contact whatsoever and you call the police, partly so it's on record and also to ask for your number/address to be prioritised if you have to call in an emergency and that officers on patrol in your area keep an eye on your property. None of it is a guarantee and I'm not pretending the police are necessarily going to do what they should to help you but at the very least there will be a record that you asked and that might make them a little more likely to cover their own arses by not leaving you completely unprotected. Probably a stupid question but do you have any male friends or relatives who could stay with you short term?

Could you do something similar with 101nor Crimestoppers? Obviously, you can't report a crime that hasn't happened but by reporting your concerns online and/or by phone, it will increase their concern for you and potentially protect you more. I really do wish you well, OP X

I don’t mean this flippantly, but if he intends to kill you before Monday, I doubt a legal order would be much of a deterrent anyway. If you think that is a genuine threat, you need to remove yourself and the kids from the house immediately and go somewhere he will not be able to find you.

You can make an emergency application to court for an order out of hours. If you have a solicitor to contact that's helpful, otherwise call the out of hours court application number.

Hi OP, I might be able to help a bit. Did anyone advise you about Non molestation order? Is similar with bail conditions but is made by Court. The threshold is low, if he threatened to use violence or used violence they will accept it. Refer yourself through "we protect" search on google it will come up straight away. Another one you can apply for is Restraining order but you will have to pay for it. It lasts longer but the treshold is higher, you need to come up with some evidence. I know is late and police should have called to discuss the outcome with you, not to leave you without safeguarding. Do you have an IDVA? If not, ask police for one. Do you have a VEO? If not ask police for one as well. All these are compulsory we would not be allowed to close an investigation if we didn't take these steps so is hard for me to understand how you are in this situation. You can also make a complaint about how your investigation was conducted or as for "Right to review". Meanwhile keep your phone charged, keep your location on, invest in some cheap cameras if you don't already have anyand call a friend or family to stay a few days with you. Best of luck!

I would be going to stay with family or friends for 24 hours until I got the Non Mol

The NCDV can support with a non mol application they are open 24/7, I think a restraining order is unlikely without conviction unless he has previous. Given he also assaulted your children please contact the duty social worker for your local children's social care service and explain what has happened. Sorry if I've missed it but it's the property owned or rented? Who is on the mortgage/tenancy? Other applications can be made around occupation of an owned property and residency of children but you will need a solicitor Monday morning.

Please phone Women's Aid. If you genuinely fear you are at risk, they will try to find you a refuge space. The law is a joke, I'm so sorry OP xxx

My ex lied and had me arrested. He changed the locks while I was on bail. The police said they couldn’t do anything as it was “civil law” for solicitors to deal with. I only wanted to collect my belongings, that was 18 months ago and I’m yet to step foot in my home. So that’s always an option for you.

As a side, people like my ex are the reason that people like your ex have bail dropped, erc. It is so easy to have someone arrested and bailed, the police cannot believe complaints without evidence. If they did, I’d be in prison and I am 100% innocent.

Can you go and stay with a friend/relative or even a cheap hotel until Monday? That would probably be quicker than chasing agencies around.

This is so bad for you and I'm sorry this has happened! Have you got a DV support worker in place? If so please contact them and get a risk assessment in place and they can help you with various orders including an occupancy order so he can't return to the house.
Do other people in your family/ friends know? You can also ask the police to put a safeguarding marker on your address (if they haven't done so already). If he attempts to enter keep your door locked and call 999 immediately to try and keep you and the children safe.
This is utterly appalling and once again I'm so so sorry this has happened to you x

im so sorry OP. If he did come round, due to his actions the children would be at risk. Presumably there is/was a s47 investigation because he harmed the children? So police would be able to get involved potentially. If there is anywhere else you can stay go there until Monday. Children’s services will be able to do a safety agreement with you until a non mol goes through - the non mol itself won’t be instant so be prepared for several days/ a week or so until protections are in place. It’s not fair that the onus is on the victim survivor when everyone can see what the perpetrator is doing. The law is the wrong way round when it comes to DV. But you’re not alone, and you are brave to stand to him and to protect your children. You can do this. You’re already doing it.

This. And then put in for an occupation order that means he legally can't enter the house.

I’ve asked the police to do a Victims’ Right to Review (this enables reconsideration all of the evidence with a new police officer in charge) and to ask the duty superintendent to issue a DVPN, which would allow me 48hrs’ protection in which to arrange the emergency non-molestation order. They have the power to do this yet it wasn’t even mentioned by my police officer in charge, who is well aware I’m waiting for the hearing.

It’s been three hours since I was promised a call back, and nothing yet.

I also contacted my MP. I don’t believe it’s safe for bail to be lifted for violent offences without giving victims the opportunity and time to protect themselves through the civil courts. I consider myself capable, articulate and confident but a year of abuse has broken me. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to navigate all this if you didn’t feel strong in the first place.

Seriously considering getting a hotel for the night. I don’t think he would come to attack us, but I don’t feel safe being in the house with him.

Man assaults woman and children, woman tells the police this but there’s lack of evidence? What do they need you to have, a black eye or a broken bone? Madness.

Change the locks. Safety first. Put all this in writing to whoever will listen, then state you are changing the locks because you are terrified of him and need time to get a court order. I'm so sorry, OP.

The locks have already been changed by the domestic violence charity (along with alarms and cameras).

The police have photos of my cut face as well as of criminal damage on multiple occasions, and reams of messages in which he’s threatening and abusive, as well as school and nursery referrals. The police officer in charge has been distant and unhelpful throughout. I genuinely think I’ve had a dud officer assigned to the case and a review might bring up a different result.

The DVPN works while he is in Custody as he needs to be served by police, is ususally used for a limited period of time immediately after an incident. DVPN has to be heard in Court within 24h after he ahs been served and a police officer has to present it. If the Court agrees with it they will issue a DVPO which lasts a month. I don't think is an option anymore, as they did not considered him to be an immediate danger of they NFA-ed him. Your best bet is a Non-mol lasts longer and you don't need police for it.

It is possible but they’d need to serve it on him. They do have his new address. Doesn’t sound like they’re going to though.

I will be doing the non-molestation and occupancy order as an emergency, same-day request, but the courts don’t open until Monday.

Fortunately (?) I suspect he’s busy with a new girlfriend and terrorising us isn’t his priority for today. I hope that lasts until tomorrow and the emergency order is granted.

My DD's DV wasn't being taken seriously, just on the say so of the initial attending officers (male). She asked for a review and got a complete turn around. Luckily it all happened on a Friday and her solicitor rushed through a request to suspend parental rights, we were terrified that he was going to snatch the baby. He did have his rights removed. I was so sad and enraged reading that perpetrators of the fire that killed the Pearson family, should have been in custody, but the initial officer decided it wasn't a real threat, so NFA'd it.