AIBU to expect anniversary acknowledgement?

[Runnermumof2]

Should I be peeved that my partner didn't acknowledge our anniversary today ?
I had a card and chocolate for him set in the kitchen which he opened in the morning and commented 'i thought that was a birthday card' (it was his birthday a few days prior) and that was it. Didn't say anything else. No other mention of our anniversary. Just weird.
We don't massively celebrate things, but just an acknowledgement would have been nice. Should I confront it ? Or just let it pass ?

This comes up a lot, and people have different opinions, but I believe that if you’re not married, there isn’t an anniversary. I’m assuming he feels the same.

Anniversary of what?

I think it depends on whether you're married.

Every couple is different. In our marriage we celebrate our anniversary every year, and DH usually books a get away for us, or at least a table at our favourite restaurant

So a wedding anniversary?

We used to class the anniversary of the date we met as ours and then when we got married just celebrate the actual wedding anniversary. For context, we were together for many years before marrying.

Some people just don't really bother with anniversaries. My DM celebrates anniversaries. MIL never has and I don't think her and my late FIL acknowledged theirs.

Is this your first anniversary (or non-anniversary, I guess)? If not, what has happened in previous year?

You say partner so not a wedding anniversary then? He clearly doesn't think it's important whatever it is.

Bollocks to that. She got him a card and a gift and he didn’t acknowledge what it was for. He’s bloody rude. The very least he could have done was say ‘happy anniversary’ with a hug and a kiss.

What number anniversary? If not your first one, then what has happened on the others? Is this a repeated scenario - you buy a card, and he ignores the day? Or does he normally acknowledge it?

On its own, him not acknowledging an anniversary is neither here nor there. They are important to some people and not to others.

The question is - how is your relationship generally? Is he as unbothered about all aspects of your life together, or is he a great partner who generally makes you feel loved and cherished?

In our relationship I'm the one who doesn't acknowledge anniversaries and DH does. To me, the actual marriage is the important part and doing little things for eachother throughout the year means more than a card on the day.

Apologies my original post wasn't very clear. It was 11 year anniversary. We aren't married , but did get engaged many years ago, but COVID happened, plans got cancelled and we ended up not actually rebooking it. We own a home and have young children. We usually celebrate the day that we met. He has always acknowledged it with a bunch of flowers and a card , or we get some take away together. This is the first year he hasn't even said anything at all. If I hadn't got a card then fair enough, but it felt weird that he didn't say anything after I did write a card.

Personally If you aren’t married it’s not an anniversary.

So her partner should not even acknowledge or show affection when he was given the chocolates and card? His insensitive behaviour is excusable?

Did you not say something at the time? I think I would have made a remark about am I not worthy of chocolates or flowers now we have gone past 10 years?

Of course it is. You don’t have to be married to have an anniversary! We are married but rarely celebrate that day, instead we celebrate the day we met which is me is much more important. You don’t need marriage to mark a special occasion. Staying together married or not is something to celebrate and as the years go on becomes even more important imo.

It’s a bit weird if he normally does acknowledge it. Either talk to him and tell him it’s important to you or you also forget it next year and you stop celebrating it.
Is he normally good with doing something for your birthday, at Christmas etc?

It's a shame he didn't even say thank you or at least hug you. Rude IMO. Yes to a degree I think of anniversary as in being married, but for others it can also be a special day too.

I am sorry you feel hurt OP💐