Worried about ongoing flu / cold and pending post birth visits

[Iz91]

Just wondering if anyone would be similar boat, I mean it’s RSV awareness month but with my pending c-section I’m very concerned about family insisting to come over to meet baby in hospital and at home. I’ve already send strict warnings around about anyone showing any cold like symptoms (even a mild sniffle) but I feel like some older gen’s (dad) is taking it more lightly and feeling like the want/desire to be there outweighs the risks as long as they are asymptomatic. I’m not a first time mom anymore but the anxiety feels the same (if not more) so not sure if it’s just excessive mom worries and I’m being unreasonable or if it’s reasonable to worry and wanting to stop the visits until a little later given the recent increase in flu/covid numbers.

I had a spring birth with first baby a couple of years ago so appreciated and enjoyed the visits the first time around despite some anxiety, this just feels different.

If they don’t have any cold symptoms I don’t see why they can’t come round?

Gently, you are being unreasonable. Let the people who love you and your baby meet them and build a relationship. Babies get colds, it’s how their immune systems develop

There’s RSV vaccines for babies now /or pregnant women, depending on where you live.

Why are you so anxious about it? Did you get the RSV vaccine?

I think people are generally quite cautious around small babies when it comes to illness. Just ask people to wash their hands.

I did have the RSV/whooping cough/flu vaccines when it was offered in this pregnancy, I guess I wasn’t sure if I was being in my head too much because they are flying over and therefore in airports so they could still catch something on the journey? 👀. I really would like to share the experience with them again and have them as support just wanted some outside perspective on whether I was overthinking, which I guess I am a bit 🥴

If you’ve had the RSV jab that should offer some protection it’s a shame it’s making you so anxious. But I do understand and no, no one should be visiting a very young baby especially newborn, when they have a cold. My friend’s baby caught a cold at about 10 days old from their older sibling. Just one of those things. Baby was fine after a few days but wasn’t feeding properly so did need to go to hospital to be checked over.

As long as nobody is actively unwell, and adhering to the usual advice when newborn so hands clean before holding baby & no kissing baby on the hands/face/mouth etc, I would be okay with visitors. I had my second baby in November last year and that was my rule, if unwell then don’t come although I do think that should be common sense anyway.

My eldest is 2 and a half now but was hospitalised with RSV when she was tiny and it was fucking awful, but we had followed all of the precautions on visiting/cleaning etc and the only way we could have totally ensured she didn’t catch anything would have been all 3 of us essentially locking ourselves in the house.

I think you are over thinking it. I took my 2 month old on a flight to see family. Obviously don’t let anyone with active symptoms hold them but they do have some immunity from the birth and breastfeeding if you do so.

Look up delayed cord clamping.it’s standard in some hospitals.

You have had the rsv vaccine so that's great, take some comfort knowing baby will get some protection from that.

I'm in two minds as to whether you ABU. On one hand you have a toddler at home, the hub of all germs is literally living with you and the baby 😆

But equally if you want people to stay away because they are unwell that's understandable too.

Most people who feel unwell generally have the sense to stay away from newborns.

I completely understand your anxiety and as others have said, you can take sensible precautions.

Saying that, my second was born in winter and by the time he was 10 days old he had a cold courtesy of my oldest who was a toddler. You can only do your best and ask people not to come who have any symptoms.

I would encourage your visiting family to have any available flu or RSV vaccines - both for their sake and the babies. Then wash hands and only visit if well. That’s all reasonable and protective. That would be the limit for me.

I completely understand you. It’s hard but out of anyone siblings will be the ones to get them ill. My third had an awful cold at 12 days from their siblings and we went back to hospital for them to be checked over.

You must stick to your guns that any one who is ill can’t come. And everyone must wash hands before touching baby. And no kissing. there’s enough formal docs, posters etc out there from charities/NHS you can share if it helps your case

Thanks so much for the perspective everyone! It feels like the main sentiment from the feedback is that I’m indeed overthinking it and that’s actually a little reassuring cause I was close to cancelling the visits and that would’ve been disappointing for everyone. Always helpful to hear how other moms are and have navigated this so I appreciate everyone taking the time to comment!

If you're having a CS, they will keep you in most probably for several days, just something to be aware of. There will be tons of visitors on the postnatal ward, and if anything like ours, most of the visitors will be far worse than your family-lots of kids from the next bed were coughing over my newborn's cot, which is lovely...so honestly, the risks are probably far worse from being in hospital than when family come. You can, of course, ask everyone to have jabs and send reminder messages not to come with bugs, but you know your family best and how they might respond to this, and you can get your partner to send anyway away if they're coughing.

I had only heard about RSV after seeing ads on tv late '23 when I was in the last trimester of my pregnancy with DC2.

In the new year my toddler dc1 suddenly became very ill overnight, wheezing, very red in the face, fever and a strange laboured and straining cough. I took dc to emergency at the hospital, croup caused by rsv was diagnosed and dc needed a rescue steroid to open airway.
A few days later my 3 week old dc2 became ill with shallow breathing and fever. It was on the 3rd hospital visit in as many days that baby was admitted to hospital needing oxygen for 3 days antibiotics as a precaution for meningitis and antiviral medication.
I was admitted with baby as was breastfeeding, also ill, but not as badly. Feedings needed to be logged and all diaper output noted and diapers weighed plus baby weighed twice daily. I had had a c-section to boot and was on my own driving myself and baby to hospital.

IT WAS FUCKING HELL.

Take all precautions to keep illness out of your home in the last stage of pregnancy and for your newborn. Don't let anyone sway you.
Let them call your crazy, over-protective, unreasonable, OCD... whatever. Please learn from my experience. In hindsight I never would have taken my toddler to school before and immediately after giving birth as that was the source.