WTF Should I Work As? Rethinking My Whole Life

[MakeThatMakeSense]

Please help, I'm really struggling work-wise.

Background:
I'm late 30s
No degree (uni drop out)
A levels: all A's in maths/physics/biology/french.
No kids, don't particularly want any.
No pets.
No partner.
Live alone.
Paid off my mortgage & my car.
Not much in savings

Have previously succeeded with exceptional performance in sales roles- telesales/cold calling. Extremely hard worker- will put the hours in. Have felt "addicted" to this type of role before especially competing with colleagues and earning commission.

Left telesales roles as felt morally conflicted. Never lied to a client but felt I was manipulating people and gaining trust, just to use it for my own advantage to earn, when really I was selling for companies that I didn't think were very moral themselves.

Decided in early 2020s to go into sales but a regulated industry. To avoid that moral conflict. Figured I'd become a mortgage broker. Paid for all my qualifications, passed all my exams dead easy. Got job. Quit job after 1 yr to go self employed.

I put so much work into setting everything up.

Fast forward to now- feeling so lonely working alone, as well as living alone. I rent an office which is lovely but feels so... Empty.

Clients are soooo needy, sometimes I just feel like telling them to get a grip (first time buyers having nervous breakdown over whether their offer on a house will be accepted. People with bad credit stressing about their many unnecessary klarna etc defaults).

Feels like I've got to be part time mortgage broker part time counsellor. Ironically I do some volunteering work which requires a lot of patience but on the topic of buying a house I just think.. god, haven't you got someone else to put this on to? Or... Well, why did you let your finances get in such a mess if you wanted to buy a house? It's tedious reassuring them.

The topic of mortgages bores me. Socially when people hear I'm a mortgage broker and want to talk to me about X, Y, Z government polices blah blah blah, meanwhile I'm like please GOD I do not wanna talk about this.

Then comes the admin. God the admin is SO TEDIOUS. I can hardly bring myself to do it, I'm that bored.

The only time I feel alive is when I manage to steal a client from some other broker, especially when they are cheaper than me, or free. That gives me a slight thrill.

Other brokers add me on LinkedIn and I just ignore them thinking... Why would I want to connect with you??

The money can add up over several case combined but I am completely missing that "buzz" of persuading someone to say yes to me like I got in telesales. That's what I thrive off.

I looovvvvve pitching.
The good thing about being a broker is that I have become very comfortable with face-to-face pitching.

I get no buzz in my work at all right now. I'm genuinely bored to tears.

Considering walking away from my mortgage career. I have a lease on my office until end of May 2027.

Any ideas?

I have seen some of my clients earning megabucks in recruitment. And I believe that is salesy?

I am older now than when I worked in telesales. I think I'm less naive and realise that everyone is just trying to get by in life, as was I. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so morally torn.

Also Worked many years in property industry but don't think I fancy being an estate agent.

Any thoughts appreciated.

I feel a bit deflated at the moment!

Really hoping someone can give me an outsiders point of view 🙏

Especially anyone who is in recruitment or a sale role

AIBU

YABU = Stay in mortgage business, all jobs get tedious

YANBU = Life is too short, count your losses and move on

You’re not being reasonable or unreasonable - you feel how you feel. Have you thought about becoming a headhunter?

Thanks for reply
Is that essentially recruitment?

Have you thought about a caring role? Doctor/nurse/physio you’d get so much more job satisfaction. I trained to be a nurse in my 30s, after working in banking. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.

My DS works in recruitment. Absolutely loves it.

Have no degree. I'd have to go back to uni. Reluctant to do this as dropped out of uni before so have student finance years left but would have to pay 1st year myself. That would essentially be all my savings. I don't feel I am caring enough of a person to do this role since I struggle to give empathy to my clients.

Have you considered training as a personal or executive assistant to very senior people? It allows a great deal of independence but it is very demanding and requires a high level of performance. That’s very well when you are top level. But it is really for someone who is totally committed and has time for it. It can be in technical, corporate or creative industries.

Omg. Really? Please tell me more?
Why does he love it?
How much admin is there?
Does he earn decent £?
Does he get to travel?
Is it high pressure, fast paced? I quite like that type of environment

Recruitment or high end car sales. You have a lot of marketing and sales experience. Both roles pay decent commission and you’ll be talking to people all day. Blowing smoke up their bum.
Good luck xx

Thanks. Cars crossed my mind but think I'm more swayed towards recruitment.

Hmm. That's something I didn't think of but actually is a possibility, thank you. I've effectively worked as a bit of a PA to a property company director before. That's probably the job I enjoyed most outside of sales.

Lemme think about that... Thanks so much.

You have enough experience. A degree won’t make much of a difference at this stage to your portfolio.
Any faster pace would be better than what you are doing now.
Recruitment would be great for you.

I find your post quite interesting because you are the polar opposite of me (I am all about education and society!) but I still recognise what you say in terms of the ‘thrill of the sale’. I love getting someone to buy-in to something, even if it’s an idea or an approach in my case.

To that end, if you really want a challenge, how about charity fundraising? There are lots of elements to it, from detailed bid/funding work, public fundraising or working with high-end philanthropists, who can be very particular!

That’s exactly what I was going to suggest.

He loves the buzz, the competition and the team work. He’s bright, very sporty (team sports, cricket nut) went to a RG uni and had no idea what he wanted to do. Got some summer holiday work in a Call Centre which he was surprised that he loved and one of his cricket team told him to try recruitment. Not too much admin, good wage. But you need to work for a reputable brand. He travels a bit yes.

Thanks all. Just doing some research online now....

I thought recruitment from the off and then I had noticed some clients had suggested it to you. Get into talent acquisition, also the whole thread was about your job. You sound under developed in other areas of your life. Don’t let work take over everything.

I work in recruitment and have done for 25 years. It has its ups and downs but overall I have enjoyed it. When you were taking about feeling like a counsellor dealing with people who are having nervous breakdowns over an offer I was thinking ‘jeez at least I don’t have that working in my job’. Yes there is a lot of listening and patience but no one is on the edge!

I think recruitment would give you the buzz you are attracted to. It’s competitive and it’s sometimes like owning your own business - you get out what you put in and you have the ability to earn very decent money. I am a single parent to 3 DCs and this plus other demands means that I don’t have the time to be as laser focused as I would like (and as some of my child free colleagues who make more commission)
people who retrain with a sales background are often very successful.

The principles of any recruitment job are the same, but for you- I think you should do some research into what field / type/ level is best for you.

If I were you (I appreciate this isn’t always a popular opinion) I would be pretty much pasting your post into Chat gpt/ claude whatever but starting with .. I want to get in recruitment - which area should I go into? What markets are suited to me/ What markets are currently buoyant / specialised enough to future proof against AI (the Irony)

At a base level you have high street recruitment where you are dealing with low level or clerical jobs - high volume and low value. At the other end you have specialist / boutique executive search forms who deal with a much lower number of roles but very high level jobs which would be pure headhunting.

Lower level = more admin. Executive search - far less and I would say perhaps travel ops but less so these days.

I do think it could be a good move for you if you are very self motivated, are not overtly ‘salesy’ - that doesn’t work. It’s about building relationships and there has to be (generally… well for me anyway - I know some don’t care) a belief that largely someone is making the right job move them- or you will end up with same feelings of inauthenticity again.

I largely like the people I work with. It’s an industry that attracts people who are fun to work with. I think the key thing for you if you do decide it’s for you is the type of market you go into.

On a final note- if I look at my company (it covers lots of corporate disciplines) - the people that work in each specialism mirror the types of people we find jobs for. That might be useful to reflect on.

Also - you might find you aren’t able to start in exactly the area you want to as you can’t just move into exec search forms who- well I wouldn’t have thought so. You might have to earn your stripes somewhere first to price yourself before you use that experience to move elsewhere.

I did recruitment for a few years. It’s tougher atm than it has been tbh. It can be hard doing the ‘long chase’ for perm recruitment. If you need quick wins maybe look at temp recruitment with faster turnarounds. Perm is more relationship building and really understanding people but yes there is the sales buzz and talking people round! If you want the money to follow you probably need to look at recruiting in industries like finance or similar. Be careful on the firms you choose. There’s a big difference in how you will be managed and by the sounds of how you are, I think you want autonomy and not micro managing which some firms will do. Could be a good option for you though! Lots of patience needed though as you are ultimately led by everyone else’s timescales.

Events management and sales? Lots of travel and need to sell the conference tickets to attendees
or exhibition stands to vendors. I’m not sure how well it pays though as an employee. Maybe someone else knows.

*not price yourself - not sure what word was mis- spelt there. I meant ‘to get experience’ !

Omg. Thank you so so much for these replies. I have felt so down last night and this morning.
Just going to have a nice lunch at home, and then starting weighing up pros and cons.

I come across as very professional/put together. I.e. not casual like tech-type people. But that does seem to be the future....

@treesocks23 when you say there's money in finance, do you mean accountancy? Brokers?

Some of my clients who I have most enjoyed helping with their mortgages have been in the tech industry (employed, not recruiting). They earn good money too so I imagine the recruitment of such people is lucrative.

@Skatefordinner thanks so, so much. What area/industry do you work in/have you must enjoyed working in?

Thanks. Point taken. I know I do t have much balance in my life right now.
But I do have some hobbies I want to make more time for and I do hope to one day have a partner.
I haven't been on holiday in so long.
Atm I am just focused on work , exercising, volunteering, but of telly. Yawn! So bored.

Before you even mentioned that you're considering recruitment, I was going to suggest going into recruitment! Your post screams RECRUITMENT