AIBU to ask for support from colleague paid less than me?

[possiblynot1]

I already know it seems unreasonable, even to me. But it is the situation I am in.

To add context, I was recently hired to a position within a company I have worked in for a few years. This position is in the same industry as my previous position and a much more specific department. I guess you could liken it to always being a diabetes nurse, who is now a supervisor in a mental health clinic. Both health, both nursing but specifics are very different.

This position legally requires a mandatory qualification, which I am studying towards (since being appointed, so still early days ).

There is a member of staff who holds this qualification already, and does the job free lance elsewhere, but didn't apply for this position. So there is no animosity or unfairness in that regard. She didn't want the job.

Here is where it is tricky...this job comes with a lot a legal frameworks, statutory timescales and meetings with clients.
I obviously am trying my best to learn and follow these, and my management team have told me to seek support from my Co worker as she knows it all.

On the other side, she has said to me ' feel free to ask if there is anything you need, but I am cautious of undermining you so won't get involved unless you ask'.

Which puts me on a position of having to reach out and ask, knowing she is more qualified and paid less. I mentioned this to management whose view was ' she's our employee, we are allowed to utilise her skills as we choose'.

There is A LOT I need to ask, and do when I have no other choice, but then I also have to manage her as her line manager and direct her in her actual job.

What is the general consensus here? Should I have not taken the job, even though I was reassured I would be supported?

It's not your fault she's in that position. Just ask her and be kind about it. Don't patronise her. She might like feeling useful.

I'm paid about half as much as another colleague who I regularly am having to rein in and correct. But she does other parts of the job that I would never want to do.

Absolutely ask and listen. Use her as a mentor. It’s difficult for her too, she’s watching you struggle and doesn’t want to interfere or undermine you yet knows she can help and advise you.

this is a win win for both of you.

Take care of her in return. Always have her back and listen to see if you can help her, e.g. let her leave early on a special day if she needs it.

Take the advice and support from her, but ensure the time she takes to give it or meet with you (eg one hour a week) is given back to her by taking some other tasks off her or letting her clock off early every so often if this is possible. Also ensure this going above and beyond is included in her appraisal.

I think you are overthinking this. Both your employer and your colleague are fine with you utilising your colleague's skills and experience as needed while you get up to speed. So long as you aren't slacking off and leaving tasks to her that you could do yourself, you are fine. Use her as needed, with respect and dignity.

Just ask. It's like if a new manager joins a department, they'd have to ask the team how current processes work.

If no one ever asked someone a question if they were paid less than them a lot of workplaces would grind to a halt.

That person has more knowledge but presumably doesn't want the responsibility of your role.?

I think this is normal in a lot of workplaces?

There are plenty people at my work who are paid less than me, but know more about specific parts of what we do than I do, and so I lean on them a lot for that. They don’t/can’t do the other parts of my role though that demand the higher pay (eg people management, oversight, strategy) and ultimately I’m accountable if they are wrong.

It sounds like your employee is happy with this set up, and is taking your lead on how much help you need. She didn’t want your job, she wanted a role that helps you in your job - so take that help until you’re confident enough to do it yourself.

This sounds more like an imposter syndrome scenario than an issue with the employee or workplace.

Just ask. She could have had the job but probably didn't want the hassle and freelancing elsewhere probably pays bucket loads more than your salary.

Put it this way, if you get it wrong everyone has to mop up the outfall. Better to ask, get it right and learn.

Thank you for all your replies. I feel much better now, and I am always grateful for her support.

She works part time, so I usually make a little list throughout the week if I have anything to ask, and then ask when she comes in. I will continue with this system.

Thank you all again.

When DH took his last job (he's retired now) he was in a similar position to your colleague. Over his career he had had several management roles in that industry; however, for the last few years before retiring he wanted to take a step back and do a more technical job again. A smallish organisation were advertising a position and the skills they were asking for matched DHs experience exactly so he applied.

At the interview he learned that the vacancy had come about because the department manager was retiring and his much younger colleague was being promoted in to his job so they needed someone to take on the younger colleague's place. DH sensed that there was some nervousness from the younger man about his greater experience so he made it clear that he was absolutely not interested in taking a management role again though he would be happy to help and support if and when necessary. He thinks that also reassured the senior management a bit who were slightly worried about whether the younger chap was ready for the step up.

Well he got the job and stayed for more than a decade. The arrangement worked very well. He did often give help and advice to his new boss, especially in the first few years but they had a good working relationship and by the time DH retired the younger chap was very well established in his position and making a name for himself in the upper echelons of the organisation.

If she'd applied for the job and been rejected in favour of you but was then expected to support you, I'd say it would be a hard no in asking her.

But that's not the case and she has offered to support you.

In your shoes, I'd approach her but with the caveat that if your requests for support become problematic for her in any way or for any reason, she is free to tell you that.

In her shoes, I wouldn't have offered if I weren't geniinely willing to offer that support and I'd wonder why you weren't asking if you needed to.

Just be careful if she’s part-time that you’re not eating into her limited work time, and as a previous poster said, show her you have her back, offering to help reciprocally. If you achieve a milestone like passing an exam, get her a thank you gift for helping you on the journey.

If it's a matter of law and policy, try to use the internet to inform yourself. If it's a matter of real world application, use of judgement or nuance, ask her because she has expertise.