CMS is not for childcare?!

[veryunsure2025]

Moved out with my three children a year ago because of DA - he hasn't paid a penny, he pays for 1 days of childcare. Now he reckons he is going to pay CMS so has told our childminder all invoices need to go to me. Including the ones for his court ordered time. Am I going mad. On what planet would he pay me the tiny sum of CMS which is worked out based on the nights each of us have in court order and then I would then need to pay his childcare when it's his evening but he doesn't pick them up from school.

Hes still in the house we jointly own, stalling selling at every point and now I'm paying to the mortgage as well as renting privately and everything for the children but he wants me to pay for his childcare

You’re definitely not going mad! He is responsible for the costs of childcare if he needs it during his court ordered time, and you would be responsible for any childcare you chose to use during your time and it’s totally up to you whether you use his CM towards that or any other money you have. But any childcare he has on his watch is not your responsibility!!

I would apply to the family courts and get this sorted out. This is the issue with CMS its often not enough because the dad's often do not do even 40% of the week. Why are you paying the full mortgage? Just pay your half. You can claim as a single mum even living in the same house and you can get upto 80% of childcare costs back OP.

Do you know what he earns? Go down the official route and put in a CMS claim as they do annual reviews each year. You will have info of his exact salary. You also can challenge his income if you feel its not correct and CMS will check (slowly) but they will.

What 14% has voted OP YABU??

Stupid bugger thinking he can make up the rules . Pathetic.

If he is in the house he will need to pay you rent on your half - he cannot decide to live there rent free.
he is responsible for payment of childcare during his time- that is separate from maintenance

He does this all the time and it's so unfair it puts the poor childminder in the middle because he's told her that's he's called the CMS and they've said I now need to pay for all childcare because he's paying £120 a week (not that he's made a single payment in a year) it just doesn't make any logical sense I don't understand why people listen to his lies

You're not going mad but it is part of the abuse. Unfortunately he cannot be made to pay for more than the cms amount. Yes its unfair. I dont think you're unreasonable expecting some help though. I say this as a woman who had to single handedly pay for 2 years of full time nursery whilst he paid me £200. Would you be able to get UC? I believe that can help although you have to pay upfront and they pay you back.
I've edited just to add that of course any reasonable person would pay for the childcare when they have their children (assuming so you can both work) but he is not reasonable if you left for DA. I hate to be the bearer of bad news bit apart from getting CMS to actually get their act together and take payment there's not a lot you're going to be able to do x

Is there a court order in place? Unfortunately it depends upon the wording.

If, for example, it says contact is from school pickup on set days then he needs to organise and pay for childcare in this time. This can still cause problems though if its alternate weeks and he decides to use different childcare (you might end up having to pay to keep the space). That's a reason that set contact days are useful.

If the court order is contact from e.g. 5pm then as long as he picks up on time he doesn't have to pay.

It totally sucks. Before our financial seperation I couldn't claim UC. I was paying all childcare, but getting almost no CMS as he fiddled his company books.