To think this boy was misogynistic

[Serenstar1]

Ok, my title itself is a little misleading.as I actually don't know the answer.

My Dd (year 6) does an after school club at a village hall that is in the grounds of a park. There is a fenced and gated play area across from the hall. She usually goes and plays in there while we wait for the previous class to finish. Usually a lad from the class that she is friends with (who is year 8) turns up a bit later and joins her playing.

Today there was a group of lads (probably year 5 or 6) who neither I nor DD know were hanging around by the gate when she went in. One held out his fist for DD to fist bump. She just walked past (I'm not sure if she didn't notice or just didn't want to fist bump a lad she didn't know). He then stood there pointing and laughing and then grabbed his bike as if he was going to follow her. I was ready to go over and intervene if needed. I was then relieved to see she had gone over to her friend and he'd got there earlier than us this week. I am not sure if the fist bump lad spotted she was with an older lad and quickly changed his mind or I had it wrong and he actually wasn't going to follow her.

If I was a lone female and a man behaved that way (and in a group of other men) I would definitely say he was being intentionally intimidating and was a complete misogynistic. These are kids though. So to my question:

YANBU: He knew exactly what he was doing and it was totally misogynistic.

YANBU: He's a kid. He was maybe being a bit of a prat, but that's it.

If he is in year 5 or 6 he's a maximum of 11 years old
I don't think he was being misogynistic he is a child
I think your reading a bit much into this

So he tried to fist bump her, she ignored him, he laughed and he picked his bike up. You have no evidence of what he was going to do next. Misogyny is rife but this is a child

What’s that about 9? Embarrassed because he had tried to be friendly and she had ignored him? He saw she had a parent, not sure it’s anything more than that?

Dunno about that. My nine year old gets comments constantly about her playing football etc. Misogyny can start that young.

blimey

You are seriously over thinking this situation !

Deeply misogynistic obviously. Future incel.

Or you’re massively overreacting.

that's more sexism. I don't think 9 years old actually hate women, they are more likely picking up comments from grandad or granny based on outdated stereotypes

Seriously, you are projecting misogyny onto a ten year old?!?! I guess people see what they want to see, but his mum could post “DS is very friendly to everyone he meets, likes to fist bump as a way of saying hi and breaking the ice, he was in our local playground with some of his friends, another child entered by herself and he tried to be friendly by opening the gate and offering to fist bump, and she totally blanked him. He gave an embarrassed laugh and went off on his bike, but I hate to see him being snubbed like that and having to pretend it’s amusing to hide his hurt feelings when all he was trying to do was be welcoming to a child who was by herself and see if she wanted to join them playing.”

Absolutely perfectly put.

Isn't that sexism rather than mysoginy?

You have YANBU twice??

You’re overreacting to the behaviour of a child. Please don’t pass this negativity onto your little girl.

Misogyny not 👆

Not every little mistake or silly thing a boy does around a girl is misogynistic. You're overthinking and looking to find things that aren't there.

Possibly but it is sad how young it is starting.

Could it be ? Yes. However, it’s tricky because you don’t know what his intent actually was, because other than laughing, he didn’t actually do anything else. Nothing happened. You can assume the worst, of course and you could possibly be right. Any replies you get will also be assumptions , that it was or wasn’t, because the only behaviours to actually judge were the fist bump(fair enough) and the laughing (kinda shitty, but it happens).

Mega over think he was an 11yo being stupid.

I think you've muddied this a bit, with those poll options (both YANBU).

Why is it misogynistic?

He was just being a dick and wanted to see if he could get a fist bump from people walking into the park. I very much doubt it mattered whether she was a boy or girl. Anyone who walked through and didn't fist bump would have got laughed at.

You're massively over-thinking this. It's just 10/11 year olds being dicks.

Ok. Can see I am overreacting. It did seem intimidating the way they were gathered though, wether intentionally or not. The lad didn't see she had a parent with her. I was keeping watch from next to the village hall (which is across an access road for the carpark).

Anyway I didn't raise it with DD and she didn't mention it.

Was he racist too? Or if he had been white, would people be calling the poor kid racist if he tried to be friendly to my children? No wonder people don't take actual sexism seriously-there is no evidence in this post that he wouldn't have done the same if the child had been a boy.
It's quite sexist to assume he would have behaved differently if the genders were reversed.

Children that age aren’t aware they are intimidating in a group.

My DS got his height very early, I had to explain that his height and build could be unintentionally intimidating, especially to an older person or lone woman and how to avoid that, either when he was alone or with friends.

I get that he didn't see she had a parent with her. But he tried to fist bump her, not grope her.