To just want people to not comment on my weight trigger warning: ED

[FTMaz]

I am 32 and have struggled with body image issues and ED since around the age of 12. I won’t go into the details of disordered eating but I will say it is all consuming. Recently I have lost a stone and a half I know I am underweight but any comment about my weight only encourages me to lose more weight. My mum will tell me I’m too thin and ask if I’ve lost more which makes me want to continue. My husband made a comment tonight about me looking ‘better’ because I look like I have a ‘bit more meat on me’. This comment makes me spiral into thinking I look big and want to restrict even more. I just wish my weight was something they wouldn’t comment on. I am in therapy and have been for a while.

Can you just tell them not to talk about your body and/or weight? Not in any positive or negative way. It’s just out of bounds now. Text it to them if saying it is too hard.

You have my sympathy. It’s shit.

They are probably just worried about you. If you can maybe sit them down and explain what the comments are doing to you and help them understand how they should raise concerns while explaining you are aware of your issues and dealing with them in therapy.

You should be able to tell your mum and your life partner that you need them to never mention your weight unless there are very serious concerns that you are putting yourself at risk.

I’m in a similar position to you - ED since I was 13, eventually hospitalised when I was 19 and even now when I’m technically considered ‘recovered’, it’s still all I think about. I’m also underweight, and my parents and husband used to fuss over me a lot anytime they deemed me to be ‘thinner’ than I usually was. In the end I sat them down and told them that any comments about my body make me extremely uncomfortable. I did have to do it 3 or 4 times, but they got the message eventually. DH especially is very in tune with whether I’m actually struggling vs when I’m okay just a bit lower in weight than usual and has learnt how to talk to me about it.

All I can say is that you need to talk to them and ask them not to do it. Explain why you don’t find it helpful/find it triggering. Sending you lots of love, I know how difficult it is x

Change therapists. It's often a good idea to do this so you can be assessed with fresh eyes and ideas. We also begin to learn how to manipulate therapy sessions once we've gotten to know our therapist.
Tell your family not to comment on your weight for the reasons you've stated here.
💐

You have lost a stone and a half
and your husband is saying you look better with more meat on you?

Oh I don't know I think in this scenario you cant do wrong for doing right

you can't expect people to not worry and it's because they care they mention it. It's very hard to turn a blind eye when confronted by very obvious signs of illness I think

Sorry I wasn’t clear - over the past couple of months I severely restricted and have been getting a bit better which I guess led to the comment about having more meat

I could've written this. I lose a bit of weight that I shouldn't, people comment on it and it spurs me to lose more, so people mention it... and on it goes

You have been on MJ and obtained them falsely

If they know you're dealing with an eating disorder they should know that it's extremely unhelpful to comment on your weight. You need to tell them how this is effecting you. Be honest and let them know how serious this is.

Hi
Im unsure what you are trying to achieve. I obtained glp 1 through essentially lying to the prescribed in an attempt to lose further weight despite already being 44kg. I’m sure from your response you have no understanding of eating disorders - when I could no longer keep up the lie due to being asked for photos of myself I have been unable to take it. But I can assure you that if I had been able to keep getting I would have kept taking it because an ED is not rational or logical. I hope this highlights just how disordered and poorly people can be.

You can’t make your recovery contingent on what other people do or say.

My point” is that you are clearly in the grip of a mental health crisis and need to be honest with your daily. You are fraudulently obtaining powerful medication. And lying to people in RL (and Mumsnet… you said you obtained it for liptoma on another thread). That is dangerous.

Have you been honest with your therapist about taking mounjaro? Does your family know?

I think you need more help here, the ED is consuming you at the moment. The fact you say if you could continue to take it you would is concerning.

Helpful. 🙄