To find loud men so much more annoying than loud women?

[Chasingfairies]

Loud women are more screechy and shrill, but with loud men comes a really irritating feeling of entitlement and lack of awareness that really winds me up! I started night classes at college last week and the course is all women except one man (female-dominated profession). I’d have thought most self-aware men in this situation would keep a fairly low-profile so as not to look like the man telling all the women what to do. Not this guy. In all the group tasks he was the first to speak up and suggest, or more accurately, tell everyone else what the best way to do the task was. Not only that but he was the loudest one in the room, always trying to be funny, always the first one with the answer, zero awareness of others. He actually came across as quite camp, so I assumed he was gay, which for some reason made him a little more bearable. However he made a slightly homophobic comment to me about something at one point, which proved he definitely isn’t gay (and is a homophobe). Knowing he’s a straight man, and the only man surrounded by women, I find his loudness and mere presence so irritating! If he was a woman it would bother me half as much. It’d maybe find her mildly annoying but no way to the levels of irritation this guy brings out! AIBU and a man-hater?

You can’t be a man hater from just one interaction. I actually think you make good points as well in terms of how men can easily move into space and dominate situations like this.

it starts with classrooms, parenting and childhood. Men are taught that it’s ok to throw your hand up in class, be funny, make mistakes, be confident, be popular. Many girls I went to school with would only put their hand up if they knew they were right. Men put their hand up because they knew they wanted to be heard.

As an academic, I can tell you this is a perennial classroom management problem, especially with mature students, saying ‘Thanks for that, Andrew — now, does anyone else have thoughts on this?’

I disagree. Both are very annoying but the deeper sound of make voice doesn't get to me like screeching women. The latter is much more painful.

Also, my experience (because I will say something when people are loud) is that men are much more likely to say, yeah sorry, fair enough, women much more likely to take it badly to be asked to tone it down.

Also don't think it's a man Vs woman thing. It's over confidence. It can also be a behavioural trait of very intelligent autistic people, and nothing to do with arrogance.

It's weird that you zero on him being loud as the reason he's dislikeable, rather than being a homophobic, bossy try-hard (which would be just as dislikeable in a woman).

any loud person is annoying as fuck irrespective of tone or gender

Yes I have come across this too.
Have you tried ignoring him and turning to talk to someone else whenever he pipes up?
I have also witnessed many women fawning over men in this situation. It’s completely cringey.

I find loud, opiniated people annoying, whether they be men or women.

This!

So, a loud man is bearable if he is gay, but not if he is straight?

Yeh, that's credible and worthy of respect. Not bigoted at all.

In the last year, a couple of people have made comments about me being loud in work. I have never had such comments elsewhere (im in my 40s). To me I am just speaking to my colleagues normally.

I think its because my accent is different to most others in the office and so my voice is perhaps more distinct and this is interpreted as loud (?).

My theory was vindicated by a yorkshire man (whom we call "Wallace") who sometimes visits. He seems very loud, but again I think its really just down to his different accent.

I find loud laughing by men or women completely annoying.

I don’t find it a male/female specific thing. I’ve met loud dominating men and women who have annoyed me.