I’ve been with my fiance for just over 2 years. We’re both mid 30s and live together.
I can’t shake the feeling that he’s being unfaithful. There’s no objective evidence whatsoever but I have this ball of anxiety in my stomach like somethings about to be revealed?
He was having phone calls with a ex-girlfriend of his friend (from high school) as she had moved to our area. This happened in January. In itself there was nothing wrong with it, but it’s the fact he didn’t tell me. He told me that he was going to take me to meet her, and that the conversation had never got to his relationship (eg he didnt tell her about me) but she’d spoken at length about her divorce. I said it was out of character for him but that he was entitled to friends. He blocked her and basically was very apologetic.
Around that time, he had started to act different with me. It was very subtle, but things I used to do that made him laugh he’d find annoying. Sex reduced and arguing increased. It just felt like he couldn’t be bothered with me.
Since then everything just seems awful. If he’s texting on his phone my mind automatically thinks he’s texting another woman. I never verbalise this but it’s horrible to feel that way.
Even coworkers. He’s started talking more and more about his colleague and this just seems very normal to everyone else. But my gut is screaming she’s his type/he fancies her. I have to tell myself to grow up when I’m upset about the contact he has with her.
He also has a 6 year old child, conceived via a one night stand with a woman. That makes me think more and more along the lines of, do you always make rash decisions when it comes to women? Entirely motivated by sex?
His dad also had multiple affairs through his childhood which tore the family apart.
am I just projecting all my feelings onto him? Judging him harshly? I have had therapy and discussed this, I am a fairly self confident person but since January my esteem has been on the floor. Is it game over for our relationship?