AIBU to say no to a vanity table gift?

[Vanitytablequery]

A family member has said they want to buy my daughters a toy vanity table for Christmas and I’m leaning towards saying I’d prefer they didn’t. This is it

https://www.lidl.co.uk/p/lupilu-dressing-table-stool/p10054758

My daughters are 4 and 2. The main reason I would prefer for them not to receive it is because I’m generally not a fan of toys that encourage young girls to want to “beautify” themselves. Obviously there are more fun things for my daughters to be doing than staring in the mirror and pretending to put on makeup and fix their hair. I also despise bulky tat and know it will take up space, be another thing to gather dust and have mess piled on top of it and generally I try to avoid this in my house. The thing is though I’m sure my daughters, particularly the 4 year old, would be all over it. I have no issue with them playing with things like this when we’re out at role play type places or friends houses but it’s probably not something I want to actively encourage and it feels like having this item in their room would be encouraging it.

But I’m prepared to be told I’m being overly sensitive or controlling and it’s all just a bit of harmless fun for young girls and not a big deal. I’m curious what people think cause I could see it going either way. I grew up in a house where a tonne of emphasis was put into always looking nice, having new clothes, perfectly reasonable clothing being thrown away because they were “scruffy” despite there being nothing wrong with them, my own mum wouldn’t leave the house without full hair and make up etc - so I may be particularly sensitive to this stuff. And even now I see my mum and the relative in question emphasising my daughters’ appearances/what they’re wearing/their hair a LOT.

I should also clarify - I’m considering saying no because the relative asked about buying it. If she had just gone ahead and bought it I obviously would just accept it as a gift despite my feelings.

YABU - it’s not a big deal and you’re stubbornly dying on a hill not worth dying on
YANBU - even though the girls might like it there is value is avoiding toys that encourage this kind of emphasis on looks for little girls

Just tell them your girls are unlikely to play with it and it will also take up toom much space.
Then give them a sensible suggestion of an alternative.

I'm with you. Can you redirect them to something similarly priced in Lidl? I wouldn't get into the principle of it (much as I agree with you), I'd just say "I'm not sure how much they'd play with it; I think they'd prefer the [vet surgery] [woodworking bench] [whatever]".

My daughter had the Lidl wooden vet surgery and really enjoyed it.

My daughter has this, it was also as a gift which I was sceptical of, like you. She uses it as a desk, at to play offices, doctors, sweet shop, hairdressers, occasionally she is a “make up lady” but it’s not the only thing by far! It does give options for role play if that’s what they’re into, and for the price it’s v sturdy and well made.

Just say it's too big and not convenient?

On a side note, and I am not a fan myself, but good luck with your kids growing up, when they will be invited to endless "pamper parties" and "beauty" anything 😂. Even after their football match!

I read that as 'vanity table-gift' rather than 'vanity-table gift' (if that makes sense) and I wondered if she'd insisted on buying them this infamous MN favourite, which surely must be the stuff of any young girl's dreams?!