AIBU to avoid relying on my parents for childcare support?

[Mirrurmirrur]

My parents have always been quite opinionated GB news and the Daily Mail keeps them well informed and up to date, and so everyone has to listen to what they have to say. There’s no discussion with them on anything- you just have to listen because you aren’t as informed as they are.

I had a baby 8 months ago, whilst I was pregnant my father told me I had to be more gracious as I had no idea how much I would need their help.

As it is me, DH and baby are in a lovely little routine and getting on well. We’re happy in our little bubble and I don’t really see what help we’d need.

My mum is now complaining that she doesn’t get to help and get alone time with the baby. She tells me in a hinting way about days out her friends have done with their grandchildren and keeps telling baby about how she will teach them to play tennis.

They keep telling me “let us know if you need anything”, but after being told me and my partner would have to start toeing the line actually taking their help (and help that is not wanted or needed) I feel if I say yes you can take baby to the park it will be framed as them giving me a break and something I should be grateful for.

My DH would rather pay for support if and when we need it rather than use them.

Am I wrong to think they brought this on themselves? They still see the baby, I just don’t want them crowing about how they were right and we do need their help.

Tell them EXACTLY what you've said here!

'Sadly Dad was extremely rude to me and told me I needed to be 'grateful' if I wanted to be able to rely on you for any childcare. In addition, neither DH nor I share your political beliefs. Because of this we've decided we prefer not to rely on you for any kind of childcare at all. We are managing well thank you'.

Calm and clear. They can fuck right off.

Just clearly say each time that you don’t feel comfortable with your baby being away from you. If they persist, explain that you’re actually coping perfectly well with your new baby but thanks for the offer.

Depends how much you want to maintain the relationship as to how honest you’re willing to be.

Tell your parents to be more gracious as they clearly had no idea how much they would want to spend time with their grandchild when they realised you didn’t need their help 🤣

This. Why on earth would you take favours from them when your father has all but told you they’ll be used as sticks to beat you with? He played himself there good and proper.

Gracious? Grateful? Toe the line?!

What bizarre words to use. What are you saying/talking about when they say these things? Are they talking about how amazing Trump is and you’re disagreeing or something and they don’t like you having different opinions?

You may not feel the same if you go on to have a second or third. Parenting two is not just double the work you have with one, it’s a complete overhaul of family dynamics and daily life.

Best keep them onside just incase.