AIBU to refuse adding my half sisters to Mum's birthday gift from me?

[DanceLikeBridgerton]

My mum is 70 in December. I have 2 younger half sisters who are my mums daughters, not with my father. We get on ok but aren’t that close.

A few weeks ago we were all talking about ideas for mums birthday gifts and they asked what I was getting. I said I’d already bought an item of jewellery which they asked to see so I showed it to them online. It’s quite expensive and something my mum always says she likes but would never treat herself to. They said it’s expensive and I said she’s only 70 once and that my kids would be contributing a little towards it. They showed me some things they were thinking of getting mum which I agreed she would really like.

Today, one of my half sisters have asked my son how much he is contributing to the gift. He told them he wasn’t sure exactly but around £200. He said they asked in a casual way so thought nothing of answering. My half sisters have now said they would also like to give me £200 each so that the gift can be from them as well. I’ve said no, I’d rather get it from just me, my husband and our children and they should get something else like they planned. It’s quite expensive and something my mum first seen when she was with me and although I’m happy for my children to contribute a small amount of the total due to them being my children, I’m not happy for my half sisters to only contribute a small amount to an expensive gift and then say it’s from us all. They think I’m being unfair.

My mum is the type of person who will love anything any of us buy her. I’ve bought her things for a few pounds in the past that she treasures so she would not let this gift overshadow anything at all that her other children get her.

What do you think? AIBU?

It's a nice birthday present for your mum that her daughters are all squabbling and bothered about who paid how much for what. Charming.

It doesn’t sound like OP is squabbling, just that the other two are annoyed not to be able to pretend they’ve paid more than they have.

Nope, they are taking the piss. Tell them to jog on.

Your half sisters are being cheeky. Just say no- you've already bought and paid for it.

No way in Hell would I go with her suggestion.

Nope. Tell them she is their mother and she deserves better. They need to put some effort in of their own.

I would decline their offer. You're not even close with your half sisters. You are not obliged to go with what they want just because they ask.

What you and your children get your mother and grandmother is between you.

YANBU at all to say "oh no thank you, the bracelet is something we want to do ourselves"

ETA they are being cheeky wanting to contribute a little but then have the impression of having contributed a lot. And since no one gifts a pieces of jewellery with a ratio of who paid which percentage they onow full well the deal they are asking for and it is cheeky!!

I wonder if there's a big wealth disparity between you and your sisters? They may feel that anything they give will be overshadowed by your present. And £200 may be all they can afford (I'd never manage to spend even £200 on a birthday present, 70th or otherwise). That being the case, I don't think it's unreasonable for them to ask to contribute to a shared gift from you all. But you're entitled to say no and they are being very unreasonable indeed to double down.

If they were your full sisters would you feel differently?

I had a friend at uni who always used to say ‘I’ll chip in on that.’ She was a cheapskate and too lazy to organise a gift herself. Very annoying so I sympathise.

I wouldn’t allow them to ‘chip in’, but I wouldn’t say a £200 gift from them is a cheap effort either. I also don’t think calling them ‘half-sisters’ is relevant.

No is a full sentence. Don't explain, justify or get drawn into a discussion.

Tell them to bog off.

Is this relevant?

The gift is from her and her children. Enough said.

No they are being very unfair trying to piggy back on your lovely gift. You don't think they'll tell your DM do you (about not letting them contribute) and spoil it for her?

This was what I was thinking!

Equal split between the three daughters = fair enough to make this suggestion if the gift was only from the daughters. But very reasonable for the OP to refuse, not least because it risks overshadowing the contribution of the son-in-law and the grandchildren.

Younger daughters wanting to contribute the same as the grandchildren but have their name on the ticket = Nope.