AIBU to refuse adding my half sisters to Mum's birthday gift from me?

[DanceLikeBridgerton]

My mum is 70 in December. I have 2 younger half sisters who are my mums daughters, not with my father. We get on ok but aren’t that close.

A few weeks ago we were all talking about ideas for mums birthday gifts and they asked what I was getting. I said I’d already bought an item of jewellery which they asked to see so I showed it to them online. It’s quite expensive and something my mum always says she likes but would never treat herself to. They said it’s expensive and I said she’s only 70 once and that my kids would be contributing a little towards it. They showed me some things they were thinking of getting mum which I agreed she would really like.

Today, one of my half sisters have asked my son how much he is contributing to the gift. He told them he wasn’t sure exactly but around £200. He said they asked in a casual way so thought nothing of answering. My half sisters have now said they would also like to give me £200 each so that the gift can be from them as well. I’ve said no, I’d rather get it from just me, my husband and our children and they should get something else like they planned. It’s quite expensive and something my mum first seen when she was with me and although I’m happy for my children to contribute a small amount of the total due to them being my children, I’m not happy for my half sisters to only contribute a small amount to an expensive gift and then say it’s from us all. They think I’m being unfair.

My mum is the type of person who will love anything any of us buy her. I’ve bought her things for a few pounds in the past that she treasures so she would not let this gift overshadow anything at all that her other children get her.

What do you think? AIBU?

Why do they want to do this? They have a good idea and clearly have plenty of money to spend on it if they can offer you £400 towards a gift! Thats a huge amount of money to spend to get their mum something that they’ve picked. Can’t understand why they’d want to just tag into the one gift.

Yes, am am a bit confused also...you have already bought and sorted out your gift. Let them do theirs...they have good ideas already...

Can’t understand why they’d want to just tag into the one gift.

Because by the way OP says that £200 is a very small contribution, I suspect the bracelet costs thousands. So they want to look part of the very expensive gift instead of something that they think won't compare.

How odd of them, but people are odd! Your gift not theirs, let them go and put some effort in to make their own present

They either can't be bothered to find her a gift or they want to share the glory for your idea. Either way YANBU to say no.

As it’s something that your mum pointed out when she’s been with you, it’s more of a personal touch. I’d go with that. I think if they put £200 in and the gift works out you’ve spent considerably more, it looks as though they’ve split fairly, when they haven’t. Just say it’s a personal touch and your mum would appreciate a personal touch from them also.

Yes this. The item is thousands and they want to give me £200 each and then say it’s from all of us.

Tell them to go to hell 😂

They are absolutely chancing it. Total CFs.

This!! If OP's child contributes £200, I'm guessing OP contributes way way more. The half sisters are CFs thinking they can contribute a smaller amount which OP's mum won't be aware of

Yanbu at all.
They sound like CF's.

Surely it would be nicer for your mum to get something separate from them. She is already getting the jewellery from you so their contribution doesn't add anything from your mum's perspective, whereas if they spent the £400 on something else that could mean a lovely spa day or similar treat

No because it has less meaning/ value if it’s from the whole extended family. Let them get something together too.

Yes, it's the cheap and lazy option for them. You've already done the thinking and covered the lion's share of the spending. And as a pp said, your mum won't get anything extra out of this. I'd say 'oh, we've sorted it all now between us so we don't want to change that'

It makes sense that the expensive gift is from you, your H and your children.

It doesn’t make sense to include your sisters. Suggest they put their money together and buy something really nice for £400. It’ll be nice for your mum to get a second gift to open.

Could it be that your sisters cannot afford to buy such an expensive gift for your DM? To be honest, if my DD bought me a gift that cost £1000’s I’d be very surprised.

It's the thought that counts not the piggybacking.
Your children contributing is great but the others are hangers on.

Heck no in that case
If they want to pay a 3rd each (minus kids contribution) fine but otherwise nope

The gift is from you - and you already knowing your mum wanted it. Surely her other daughters can get something equally meaningful - and I don't mean expensive - that their mum would like for her birthday? Seems very very lazy of them.

Anyone should pay what they can afford - they don't have to match value?

Yes its cheeky but on the other hand if I could only afford £200 for a gift and my sibling could afford thousands then I would feel pretty crap, even knowing my DM would love whatever I got her.
It's only natural when you are the one that can't afford the expensive gift to think what you can afford pales into insignificance.

Why would you feel crap? It's not a competition is it? Esp if your mum would love whatever it was you got her. The thought is worth much more than any amount of money spent.

Affordability varies. I’m sure the OPs mum will be delighted with whatever her half sisters give her.

They're your sister's! I used to chip in with my siblings and nephew for my mother's gift and we all paid according to what we could afford (including nothing from one sibling). My mum wasn't stupid she knew we didn't all pay the same amount but it was a nice gesture (until she went off physical presents). Unless they earn loads more than you I would just agree

Maybe they thought you would appreciated a contribution?.I don't think they are evil for asking.

Just say thanks but no, it's fine, I am happy to pay for it all. And if they are stuck for ideas help them pick something - for £400 they could give her something else really lovely.

I don't think it has to be a big drama, does it?

I know my Mum would love whatever it was and no its not a competition but would still make me feel pretty crap that what I could give was so much less than what my sibling could give