AIBU to feel saddened by how common sexual assault still is?

[Invincibles90]

This is all over my SM feeds. I feel like most women have suffered some level of SA but we just accept it. Mine - finishing my first year university exams, on the bus to the city centre and some guy touching me inappropriately; I was too young and innocent to know how to respond. A year later , waking up in bed and my boyfriend having sex with me, even though I had said I wasn't ready for that. These men probably have kids...how weird is that? I am so sad that nothing ever really changes

This is in response to Cornell University rape allegations- my bad accepting the AI suggested heading

It is extremely common I’m afraid 😒

Do you want to say a bit more about why you think you might be unreasonable to be saddened by it?

Surely no woman is going to be happy about it?

I have also been SA - as you said most women have. But I’m no longer sad. I’m enraged. Enraged at woman who when told about it they say things like “well you are overly flirtatious”, enraged at men who SA and at those who laugh at bad “jokes” ir say nothing. I haven’t met a feminist that isn’t angry.

Yeah I feel sad that these things happened to me in the 1990s and nothing has changed. I am absolutely enraged that women are shamed, that no matter what we do, it is always our fault

I am also enraged. I was about 7 or 8, was my nightie just too enticing for the 16 yo babysitter? Something I said that gave him the wrong idea? I'm 63 now, have never really told anyone about it but am only now fucking furious that is still going on. No surprise as I hardly stood up for us then, or at any time since. But now? I feel powerless and enraged.

It is horrifying. I feel I don't have the words to explain how I enraged I am right now. We all here know it doesn't mater what you wear, how much you have or haven't had to drink, what age you are. It is sickening.
I had to explain to my husband how I can't just go out for a run at 6 am. I have said to my daughter to look after her friends and mind her drink when out. I have also, since my sons were young, explained consent and now, hpw important is is to be an advocate for women is distress

This 👆 also see the nappies they were wearing 🥺.
I hate everything 😣.

It’s absolutely horrific. No idea what the answer is. Even as a very tall, built, strong woman, I am always on my guard. I worry for my dd who is at uni. The spiking that goes on is appalling.

All my life including two years ago aged bloody 62 years old for goodness sake. I reported that one and he's been suspended. Does it never end? I assumed Id be safe in my 60's.

@Invincibles90
Same, enraged is the correct term.
DP and I were discussing the Cornell rape allegations last night, horrific.

Had my own experiences of sexual assault, couldn't take it any further as the first questions asked would be to try and make it your fault.
Where were you?
Were you drinking?
What were you wearing?
All designed to put the emphasis on the victim.

Nothing gets better, we are more aware of behaviours, we know what is acceptable or not, companies run sexual harassment training, its all over SM but it continues to happen.

Doesn't it feel like everything that is a problem for women is just not that important?

I did see this, hope it loads

Post on my local FB page today from a woman who had been SA at a bus stop in the middle of the day while she had a toddler with her in a pushchair! Absolutely disgraceful, I think things are actually getting worse not better.

I had my first experience of SA at 13/14, I still have never told anyone. I felt embarrassed and like it was somehow my fault even though I was just walking in front of a boy.

If SA happened to men and boys at the same rate you can bet something would be done about it.

I don’t know any woman who hasn’t been SA’d.

I’ve got two teen daughters and the eldest first experienced it at 12 when a man brushed past her and ran his hand over her breast. I was right beside her and didn’t see, she told me after he had gone and the utter blind rage I felt at him and that this is STILL happening.

it is exhausting and never ending.

Dd has just started uni this September. Before she left I told her about when I was raped at uni - not lots of detail. Dh and a few friends are the only ones I told but I needed dd to realise it’s not something that happens to others and to do what she can to protect herself from the risk. She was shocked and upset for me but it felt like the right conversation to have at that point.

i have 2 younger DDs (teens) and we’ve been speaking about the Cornell rapes with them.

what struck me was the comment that if a man was hammered in a house full of women, they’d look after him. Men act like the great protectors but they only protect themselves.

I’m so sorry you went through that. My eldest is 15 and I worry about this sort of thing now that she’s socialising more without us. She has already had men “saying things” to her at the bus stop (in her school uniform 🙄)

I saw a post about what would happen if a man was that drunk with a group of women too. It’s so true, the worst they would do is draw a moustache on him and take photos I think!
But he’d pretty much be guaranteed to wake up unharmed, covered with a blanket and with a pint of water nearby.

I hear you OP. It's like we're hurtling backwards through time and it's become the norm. So depressing.