Is is normal to be this done after work?

[catgirl1976]

I’m 50. Definitely menopausal and on HRT. Not sleeping brilliantly because of menopause but I get home from work and I am wiped.

I just want to have a bath and go to bed and very often do and can be in bed as early as eight although I read and scroll and it’s more like ten before I go to sleep.

I do the menopause 3am wake up and usually but not always drop back off then up at seven out the door by 745 home about six to half six to cook dinner, sorry clothes for the next day, spend a bit of time with DS and sort his school stuff and then by 7pm I am just wiped.

I don’t want to do anything but sleep. I have a fairly stressful job but not the longest work days by any stretch and I WFH two days a week. The darker evenings aren’t helping but is this just life now at my age?

I'm like this and I'm 45 and on HRT , 50% of the month wfh the other 50% living out of hotels. Although I've booked my diary so I'm WFH all of Dec and Jan/ I'm usually in bed by 8 and up between 4-5, that's after the 2/3 wake up. I come in look around at all tha needs to be done and don't do it. If I cook im winning!

It sounds counterintuitive but are you getting regular exercise - even a 30m walk a day will increase your energy massively. It's sooo hard when you feel shattered but it makes an immediate and significant difference if I force myself to do something every day. If I really can't face much, I bounce on a rebounder for 10 mins before bed that seems to be just enough to charge up for the next day.

Me too!!

My mum said she got significantly more tired around age 50. She horrified by how long people are expected to work nowadays because she says the tiredness after 50 and then again at 60 was so much worse.

No, I don't feel like that at 51 but I would if I were still wrangling children or poorly parents as well as full time work.

I'm often wiped out but I work a minimum of 50 hours most weeks and often more - 15 hours yesterday, which thankfully is rare. Also an elite level lifter. I defo struggle with sleep though and this seems to change it from a gentle tiredness to a 'walking through treacle' feeling where I have to force myself to get up and have a shower or I'll sit on the sofa all night.

I would try taking an iron bisglycinate supplement with vit c added.
Definitely get to the GP and ask for hrt too, a combo of oestrogen and progesterone

I don't think that it has anything to do with menopause, people from all age say the same thing.

lthough I read and scroll and it’s more like ten before I go to sleep.

You'd be much better off going to some exercise class after work instead of sitting down. The less you do, the more tired and slogish you become.

You sleep better when you exercise regularly too.
It's normal to feel tired after work for most of us, but if you ignore it and get active, you quickly forget about it.

Agree about the exercise thing. I am mid fifties and always seem to feel tired despite only working 4 days a week and not really very long days. I feel the worst when I get home and could go to sleep then.
I have been going to the gym most evenings, a mix of classes and weights. I have to drag myself there most times, but the difference afterwards is astonishing.
Appreciate that may not work with childcare etc

I think there is often this idea that if you're on HRT it can't be menopause causing issues but I've been on HRT for 4 years and it hasn't resolved everything, it ebbs and flows in perimenopause. If you're waking in the night, the HRT might not be optimal.

Could be worth keeping a diary with symptoms. Blood tests aren't that useful in menopause but can be an extra indicator.

Get all your other blood tests too in case your deficient.

As others say, exercise will help if you can manage it even on weekends. You'll sleep more deeply which in turn will give you more energy. It's hard though.

I overhauled my diet (its been painful) and trying to get a walk in everyday. Its really helped but omg it was tough getting going

I’ll try the exercise.

i just get home after a really stressful day l, do “shift two” on home and DS stuff and im wiped. Work is very stressful and I often end up working weekends to try and clear stuff which doesn’t help. But I’ve worked in a stressy role for years and only recently been this wiped out by it.

Excercise probably will help I just need to force myself

I was like this too. I stepped from every day tiredness to exhaustion. I have a busy full time job, family life, but I exercise frequently and am on HRT. And nothing had really changed that could account for the extreme tiredness so had my bloods checked and I was critically deficient in vit D. I have been taking supplements for about 6 months and I’m now back to just average tired.

Are you a teacher, OP? x

I’m not a teacher but I do work in education. I’m a HR Director in a college group.

Blood tests are a good shout. I’m exhausted and nothing’s really changed apart from my periods stopping

OP I had exactly that at 58 so later than you. I finally went to a GP when my ds had to wake me up when I fell asleep before cooking supper. He was right, I was ill and needed treatment.

Go to your GP and ask for a checkup and bloods. Have you had a mammogram yet? Thyroid check?

Thyroid? Depression? An easier role? What do you do to give you joy? A holiday?

I don’t mean to sound flippant as I have had all of the above and now year 4 of burnout.

a multi faceted approach is needed and be gentle with yourself.

wishing you well

Losing weight also helps if you're on the heftier side.

Mammograms are up to date and I’m 10 stone 7 so not over weight (I used to be 15 and a half stone)

My dad dies last year, I left an abusive marriage and moved out with DS and finished my masters so I’ve had a lot going on but I’m not depressed. In fact I’ve never been happier or had more peace. Bit the exhaustion….

Definitely going to arrange bloods and force myself to do some exercise each day

Get B12, folate, ferritin and Vit D checked too, they are often not on a standard blood test and low levels of all can make you feel tired to your bones.
Everyone should be on a daily multivitamin now, as we have had the autumn equinox and sunshine is no longer able to generate Vit D. I think the NHS recommends this til Spring equinox

I'm 46 and I wouldn't consider that normal (for me), no. My husband is 52 and he is like that, he has CFS and really has to pace his life now.

If I find myself getting really draggy I find I'm low in iron and start taking supplements again. I would check your bloods

also yes to the vitamin D mentioned above, and a multi

there was something on the radio the other day saying that Vitamin D and Calcium are the only supplements proven to be effective during menopause.. I dunno how true that is but it certainly can't hurt

Ive increased my exercise recently, walking and swimming and Im absolutely ready for bed about 8pm now!!! Rather than 10pm so this doesnt work for me

OP, magnesium is what helped my sleep, stopping the 3am wake up.

This is very much my experience too. Interesting to see the comments about exercise and I wonder if I could go to the gym at lunchtime, or sacrifice my morning hour with a cup of tea.

Hope you feel better with time. It sounds like maybe emotional exhaustion could be a factor - when are you due time off work so you can have a break from the treadmill for at least a few days? You'll run out of fuel eventually if you never stop to recharge!

And on the exersice front be aware that intensive cardio isn't your friend as you age - weights and gentle cardio (nothing that raises cortisol!) will likely be more helpful.