I’m going to sound crazy aren’t I?

[Crazycray]

Went to drop off something at DS’s school for him. Got chatting to receptionist who said she met my son last week when he went to collect an item from main reception. She asked me how many I ordered and I said 1 item and she told me it says I ordered 2. So I said oh he can collect today if that’s the case but she said if I don’t need 2 of them she can arrange a refund. I said I’m not even sure I did order 2 but she said no it’s saying I did order 2 and paid for 2 on the sheet she had.

She refunded it and I just saw it come back onto my app as a refund. Issue is I’m quite sure (not 100% but quite sure) I didn’t pay for 2. I’ve checked the app and Only shows one item but I know I paid for 2 badges for example (incase he lost one) but on app only shows one payment so I know that’s wrong. But we did get 2 badges and I did pay for 2. But on app shows 1.

i do suffer from anxiety and bad mental health so im stressing they might realise and think im a thief! Should I phone up school or will they think im crazy? The lady said i did pay 2x when questioned her for 3rd time this morning when i went to drop DS’s things off.

I don’t know what to do and for sake of 16.50 I don’t care if I paid twice but I’m worried now incase I haven’t!

just for context you would never know my mind works like this as on the outside I look very put together and confident and normal!!

i know I need help so please don’t make me feel worse. What would you do? Just leave it or call school?

You've asked them three times, I'd leave it now. If they reconcile their accounts and realise there is money missing they will ask for it - no doubt having remembered these conversations. There's no need for embarrassment or worrying that they think you are a thief.

I’d send an email to the the school and say that there seems to be confusion, you have double checked and as far as you know, only paid for one item so the so the refund the school put through needs to be reversed. Should you send the amount into the office or will they put it on the online system so you can pay for it. Thanks.

Thank you. I just feel really guilty. For the sake of £16.50 should I just donate it or sobering to ease my guilt?

But she told me I have paid twice. I asked her 3 times and email will go to her! Won’t I sound crazy?

No, just send the email since you’re 99% certain that you only paid once. Then your conscience is totally clear and you needn’t give it another thought.

The secretary could have for your DS’s name incorrect/looking at the wrong name on the system.

No definitely not. As when he went to pick it up they asked him then it’s 2 there and he said no my mum only ordered one.

Oh just send the email so you can forget about it.

I think I will send the email. I’m a bit worried though incase I end up wasting their time

Don’t worry, it’s part of their job to answer parents queries/look after payments. They’ll be glad it’s not an email complaining or looking for immediate attention.

Can you please help me write email? What do I say to sound least crazy

Hi xx, following on from our conversation earlier where you mentioned I’d ordered two xxx and you issued a refund for the second, I checked the app when I got home and as far as I can see I actually did only order and pay for one xx.

I think confusion may have arisen because I had also ordered, paid and received two badges but the app is indicating I ordered/received just one badge. Anyway, maybe you’d look into this when you get a chance and if I was incorrectly refunded, just let me know and I will re-pay straight away.

Thanks very much.

Copy JoyousHikers post and send it.

Omg! I did pay for it!!! I just checked the app again but I already sent the email!!

I didn’t check back enough. I only checked in September but I made the first payment in August! Gosh! I wasted all morning stressing

Ha! Just send a follow-up email and say Oops, sorry, I’ve just re-checked and of course you were correct and I did pay for two. So everything is in order. My head is muddled today! Sorry about this.

I feel so stupid. I bet they’re all laughing at me in the office. I think I will leave the email again! I’ll just wait for them to reply. Gosh I could just die of embarrassment. Why the hell didn’t I check further back than September, I didn’t even realise I had the app for so long.

Listen, just imagine you have a ball that’s filled with your stress about this. Visualise yourself throwing the ball over shoulder and saying to yourself, that’s it time to move on. And go and do something.

Schools get all sorts of queries and emails all the time about all sorts, they are not going to think twice about this. They haven’t the time, they’ve seen it all before.

There are two outcomes here.

1 - you tried several times to question it and were reassured you were owed the money each time. It turns out you were right and they let you know and ask for the money back. They know you said you didn't think it was right and it's a trivial amount of money so you haven't benefitted from it in any meaningful way.

2 - you tried several times to question it and were reassured you were owed the money each time. You continue to question it for a forth time over the course of several days even though there's nothing more they can say or do to convince you and it's a trivial amount of money.

Option 1 is better.

Edit: just read your update. I don't really know what to say to make you feel better. I guess they'll forget about the whole thing eventually if you don't carry on doing obsessive stuff.

Just leave it OP. They'll ask you if they think you owe something. It's just been a misunderstanding.

Ah bless you OP, the only course of action now is to laugh at yourself! If I was the lady in the office I would honestly think no more about it, she’ll be dealing with busy stressed mums all the time. And she’ll appreciate your attempts to be honest.

You sound Liz me. I’ve got similar stories. Just been diagnosed with ADHD. Im not saying you have it, but I’m known for getting extremely muddled up. I laugh at myself (mostly)!

I was a primary school teacher for 20 years. I can promise you that no one is laughing at you. They will be so happy to receive nice polite emails from you! Please don’t be embarrassed and it’s absolutely fine to email back and apologise and say you found out you had paid already so not to worry.