AIBU to worry about DMIL's phone use while minding DD?

[EnergyCreatesReality]

DMIL is staying with is for 3/4 weeks while she is having work done on her house and she’s permanently on her phone to the point that she spends all day on the sofa with it on charge next to her.

My DD7 has limited time allowed on devices and is getting upset because nanny is always on her phone and not talking to her. It came to a bit of a head tonight as Friday night we have movie night and no devices. We put Toy Story 5 on to try and give DMIL a bit of a hint and DD even said “nanny we don’t go on phones when it’s family move night” and she still spent the entire film watching loud YouTube videos. DH tried talking to her and she said she would put the phone away but less than 5 mins later was back on it again.

DH and I are supposed to be going out tomorrow night while she looks after DD but I strongly suspect DD will be left to her own devices (pardon the pun) while DMIL is on her phone for hours.

WIBU to turn the WiFi off and hide all the phone chargers while we’re out?

Yep definitely do that.

Petty and passive aggressive. What could go wrong?

How rude! My elderly father has a bit of a phone addiction but he does respond positively when we remind him there are no phones at the table.

If she has data the WiFi thing won’t do much for you.

I think she’s so set in her routine of doing stuff it’s going to be really hard for you to get her off it.

Err she's an adult! How passive aggressive for someone who's babysitting for you.
If your not happy with the way she looks after your child, dont leave them alone with her.

I wouldn’t leave my dd with someone who I thought wasn’t going to look after her.

I wouldn’t expect an adult to watch a children’s film. But I would tell anyone who was watching videos on their phone in the living room to go somewhere else.

Let your DD react to her nanny ignoring her whilst being babysat and she might sort the problem for you! My mam also uses her phone around my 4 year old, I find it incredibly rude but my DS is very persistent and will badger her until she pays attention to him. Annoyingly I think some of their generation don't realise that although everyone else is addicted to their phones too, we don't sit and ignore people during visits!

she still spent the entire film watching loud YouTube videos

I find it hard to believe you didn't tell her to turn the sound off, go to her bedroom or give her some earphones.

I don't know what the answer is but ime that generation are the worst for not regulating themselves wrt phones.

She was rude watching loud utube videos while the movie was on . Why didn’t you tell her to turn it down ? Constantly on her phone is also extremely rude . Fair enough every now and again . Turning your wifi off won’t help if she’s got her own data .

Very rude to be watching videos loudly whilst you had a film on. I can understand her not being interested, but either make an excuse to go elsewhere or at least use your phone quietly!

Nonsense . I’m never on the phone when my grandkids are here and they stay the whole weekend. !

Yes you would be unreasonable to do that . What if there was an emergency?
It sounds as though your mother in law is addicted and constant phone use is unhealthy but it won't have a long term impact on your daughter

When your dd has an accident, chokes, or falls in the bathroom? If you want a baby sitter, she's the wrong person.

I thought you said "DMIL is staying with is for 3/4 weeks while she is having work done" - did you mean you wanted a live-in au pair for 3/4 weeks?

Does she live alone ? I think a lot of the older generation including me use the phone for company if they live alone . It can get a bit of a habit without realising it .

If you're not happy with the way she's looking after your child then don't go out . I wouldn't personally use my phone when I'm with gc unless they are also occupied with their own stuff but mine are a bit older .

That's a bit of a leap. Where has OP said that?

I've no idea why you didn't tell her to mute her phone or watch videos in a different room?

But also you were there so she wasn't 'babysitting', that's not to say she won't stay off it for the most part when it's just the two of them.

Why can't your H just ask if she can leave her phone until DD is in bed to spend some time with her?

If I was expected to sit through a Toy Story film I would be looking at my phone too although I would either go into another room or have no sound on my phone. As for MIL looking after your granddaughter tomorrow evening. It would be nice if she paid your daughter attention until your daughter goes to bed but in the worst case scenario your daughter amuses herself while her grandmother looks at her phone. It is one evening. It wont do any long term damage.

My mum is the same, completely addicted to her phone. Sometimes I wonder why she comes over to my house when she just sits there staring at her phone, ignoring everyone.

If your MIL didn’t want to watch the film she should’ve just left the room.

mil seems very rude. Who on earth does that in company? Looking at phone a bit maybe or something quiet if it's a kids film but not volume up videos.

When I have friends staying over because there are renovations at theirs, they can stay on their phones all the time. Not so with au pairs.