Not intentionally manipulative. I’m sure she would be utterly mortified to know that it has an effect on me. Bit mum is a complete slave to her emotions and cannot hide them one little bit. If she is worried, if she is sad, stressed, disappointed or upset with herself about something, her mood will plummet. I feel like I am the adult, regulating my own feelings, while she is the child or teen, acting them out. She doesn’t get unpleasant, just tense, flappy, morose, a bit moody or snappy.
In my youthful naivety I would say things like “try to forget about it” or “think about X instead” and she would say that she cannot control her feelings, as though it’s just a fact of the world, like the grass is green.
I just find that as an adult (she is my closest family - I am single) I can’t actually confide in her about any problems or worries, because she would just fret about it more than me (because she loves me, but that does not make it helpful).
Not sure what my AIBU is, I just wanted to vent. Anyone else experience this?