To be shocked at ‘school readiness’

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2 weeks into this school year with a new class of reception children who 90% are utterly unequipped to be in a classroom. This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.

-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name.
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)

This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.

These are not SEN children who are developmentally delayed. Covid babies are no longer an excuse. I’m absolutely baffled how parents have neglected to teach their children basic skills and expectations of behaviour, I have never had a year group like this.

AIBU to be shocked at the lack of school readiness

Cross posted, but you put it much better than me!

Exactly. When I lived in Austria children went to kindergarten at 5 and Volksschule (primary) at 6. So they started one year later, not 2/3. Kindergarten was quite a structured experience, not playgroup. Staff were teachers - my boss’s sister was one.

We need to find a way to re establish basic parenting expectations. My niece and her DH both work and are managing just fine with their 4/2 year olds. The 4 year old has just started reception after two years of nursery. He certainly knows how to dress himself, use the toilet, eat with cutlery and sit and listen when told to do so. There are no excuses for the parents of the vast majority of DC.

I can completely believe this and it’s transferring into secondary with year 7’s completely unable to do anything for themselves

The problem is a lot of Nurseries insist the child eats a meal in the Nursery and it can be unaffordable. I'm not excusing what the OP is describing.

It's the use of Ipads for entertainment and disengaged parents. Teaching children acceptable behaviour is seen as punishment, by some. It's the, "we can do what we want, when we want", mindset. There's been worrying reports about antisocual behaviour, the killing of wildlife and now the London parrots, by tweens/teens, we have got to start early intervention.

There has been a massive uptick of parents thinking it's ok to "work from home" whilst "looking after" their young kids. Their was a thread about it just yesterday.

I agree. So it seems that as more children have spent more time in nursery and other childcare settings, they seem to have become less capable at performing basic tasks. Why is that? Are nurseries not teaching them these things?

Is this a very deprived area? My son started reception this week. He’s able to read and write his own name, knows how to get dressed himself, can get a coat on/off, uses the toilet independently including for number 2s, can write all letters and numbers, counts to 100 and does basic sums. I hope he’s being polite too as he is at home. He’s been at nursery/pre school before starting school which I’m sure has helped but so have most of the kids in his new class.

Of course not. The fact is though that after 2 weeks, OP doesn't know that for sure.

Though I'm surprised it also seems as though 90% of children didn't appear to at least go to preschool or nursery. Very unusual.

Wow! I am especially surprised about 4/5yo not recognizing their own names. Do you literally mean when you say “Johnnny, blah blah blah….” And Johnny does not know you are talking to him?

I can remember going to a meeting with baby DC2 - think they were somewhere between 3 and 6 months. They were asleep in their car seat. Somebody in the meeting mentioned their name and they instantly woke up. Somebody in the meeting then commented on how DC2 definitely knew their name.

Is the school in a deprived area?

Finland is about seven and their kids are far, far ahead of ours at eleven. However, I dread to think what some kids would be like who are "brought up" by phones, screens and telly if they were at home with parents.!!!!!

This is what I'd like to know, it's very odd that children coming in from all setting are missing skills.

I’m from a European country - we might start formal education later but we’re still in nursery/pre school. No different from the UK.

I feel surprised the number is so high but I can believe there are some that meet that description.

I think it’s an easy answer to blame phones but I think we should be looking at society as a whole. The difference with this generation and the last is that generally they had a SAHP, nowadays most families need both parents working to survive. So I can see (not saying it’s right!) how a parent would help a kid into a coat or shoes to hustle them out the door to drop at childcare before going to work because it’s easier and quicker.

My DC are older now (still primary) and I find it astounding how much parents do for their kids that I push mine to do for themselves, like taking responsibility for reading records or water bottles or making their lunches. They get promoted but I don’t do it for them. There are parents still taking their secondary school kids to school, not because it’s too far to walk but because they think their kid isn’t old enough to do it!

Your son is three not reception age though. A nursery teacher wouldn’t expect him to do all these things.

Back in my nursery days i could get 18mo this to 2 year olds to sit on a carpet and do singing and stories for a short time after tea now the ops children of 4/5 year olds can’t even do that because they don’t have the concentration.

A toddler is a child between 1 & 3yrs old, so a 4-5yr old child isn't a toddler fgs.

Children have been starting school in the UK at this age for over 100yrs, since the Elementary Education Act 1880, yet never before has a generation been so poorly prepared for school by their parents.

As much as I dislike children being given phones and iPads when out and about, I’m also not convinced by the hysteria about this topic tbh.

Parenting now innit.

Children used to be toilet trained in the 80s when I started and that is a fact. I was teaching a school nursery class then but some had to be taught to put their coats on. In Reception some, from other settings, still had to be taught how to do that (I'm talking from early 2000s onwards). I actually found children from poorer, larger families were more independent than those with SAHM or looked after by grandparents who had more time and were more patient.

Hardly any children knew how to eat with a knife and fork. Maybe they did back in the 80s.

I've been retired for 11 years so maybe it has got worse since then.

Someone always trots this out, completely ignoring that many European countries have compulsory pre school, some from as early as 3. And reception is an extension of early years, more similar to pre-school/nursery settings than year 1.

Where are you in the country? Is the school in a particularly deprived area? The reception children are not like this in our school.

This.

I’m not actually a fan of blaming parents for everything or using the ‘too much screen time’ adage. BUT, increasingly I am seeing children with awful behaviour whose parents seem to think it is absolutely nothing to do with them and it’s not their ‘job’ to make sure their kid isn’t say, hitting teachers, because they don’t want to ruin the precious bond they have with their kid. Have heard that several times.

There should be more hysteria about it in my opinion, children need protecting.

It means they aren't engaging with the world around them, which is a big part of how they learn. They aren't developing languages as they aren't taking an active part in conversations. They aren't noticing things and learning from what they see. They aren't learning how to enjoy and engage without a screen in front of their eyes

Yes! And in some countries it’s compulsory from 3! School isn’t actually compulsory in England (not sure on the specifics for Scotland) until 5.

Hardly. The UK school age hasn't changed yet this is a recent problem.