To be shocked at ‘school readiness’

[Copyandpastry]

2 weeks into this school year with a new class of reception children who 90% are utterly unequipped to be in a classroom. This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.

-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name.
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)

This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.

These are not SEN children who are developmentally delayed. Covid babies are no longer an excuse. I’m absolutely baffled how parents have neglected to teach their children basic skills and expectations of behaviour, I have never had a year group like this.

AIBU to be shocked at the lack of school readiness

Take a week off work to potty train and then encourage them to pull up pants/trousers

Yup. Week off work is what most people do. That I know, anyway.

Living in your parents house till you are in your 30s is someone quite happy to continue to be parented. Or someone really quite shit at saving - there's that growing up thing again. 10 years of earning and not paying any living costs, and yet not saving enough for a deposit - really?

I call bullshit on this. My 4 yr old DD just started school and they are a brilliant class and were called out positively re manners and helpfulness and ability. Vast majority have been in a nursery setting. We’re on south Coast.

You can call bullshit all you like but you have the experience of one class and not even form a teaching perspective. Trust me those of us working with children would love it to be bullshit. It would certainly make our jobs a lot less challenging.

My youngest is a Covid baby, and I must say this is my experience of their year. To add context, my eldest has just gone off to uni and we have three others inbetween as well so lots of experience of primary aged kids. Lots of teachers and people who work with kids that I know also experience the same so there’s definitely something that is different now than it was pre-Covid. I just can’t work out what it is that has contributed, it can’t just be one thing. It’s got to be some combination of factors.

It really is massively different, when my older four were in reception we were allowed to film School assemblies/nativity plays and when we watch them back, the difference is staggering!

Luckily my children are not part of the school system, so school is not up against my opinions or the way I parent.

I do think we have gone majorly wrong though if a simple question of should working parents be doing 80% of the work in 20% of the time?, is answered with "yes it is 100% the parents responsibility"

In the case of someone who is in charge of their children for 100% of the time, yes my children's attainment is completely my reaponsibility, but for a working parent I think it is incredibly unfair not to question whether childcare may be having a backwards effect, whether it needs improving, and what can be done to ensure it is up to standard.

And this is exactly the problem. That is not a massive load of expectation at all. It's very very basic things

And yet as I have posted a few times on this thread, the UK, is 9th in the world for PISA score results, that's 9 out of 91 countries listed, higher than all European countries except Estonia, the U.S.A and many others. Something must be going right here and flies in the face of the depiction of the UK on this thread, in fact it almost sounds like propaganda!

https://kindredsquared.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/School-Readiness-Survey-January-2026-Kindred-Squared.pdf

Call bullshit all you like. It’s all true though

I work in a primary school and I think you have hit the nail on the head.

4 rising 5 children are nowhere near “ not quite toddlers”. Most reception classes nowadays are child friendly with space to learn through play , only requiring short times of sitting. It’s a myth that countries “ starting education at 7 “ only play - they mostly attend the equivalent of our nursery schools.

100% agree. My parents owned a shop and worked night and day to provide for us. I saw very little of them but when I did, they took every opportunity capitalise on stimulating my brain or increasing my cultural capital or encouraging independence. My parents had no intention of hovering over me, indulging my anxieties, wrapping me in bubble-wrap or constantly entertaining me like a dancing monkey. They wanted me to gain skills and be competent from as an early age as possible. A lot of my friends parents were the same.

So because your DD’s class is different, all the teachers are lying? Were the news reports from two years ago, where teachers were interviewed on air saying the new cohort couldn’t do many of the basic things the OP described also lies? But you’re the expert here.
4–5yr olds have been doing these things for hundreds of years. Yes, some children need a bit more help, but most can pull up their own underwear after using the toilet and hang up their coats. My DC could do that at age 2.
And now suddenly an entire cohort can’t manage it? Something isn’t right.

That's really sad. But have most of these children not been to nursery? I'd have expected kids to learn a lot there- even if their parents can't be arsed.

Thank you 🤩 this makes me feel hopeful ❤️

My son is almost five and has attended nursery only two days a week and those other days he’s been with myself and his dad on our days off.

he can make basic meals for example spaghetti bolognaise, knows all the ingredients to put in

put on his shoes and coat

say please and thank you

make his own fruit snacks

do basic multiplication sums even 14 + 8 etc

get dressed

use a knife and folk

only watches c beebies learning programmes and had only miss rachel for the few years

can pour his own drinks and serve his own food

can write and recognise his name

goes to the toilet independently and washes his hands without prompt

we did the Montessori menthod for the first couple of years and this helps massively.

and yes I am boasting, it’s hard work to get to this point.

my son is a very active cook and helps out everyday in the kitchen! :)

he’s just started school this week and loves it! It helps with their confidence and all the effort is worth it

Surely most children have been to nursery or pre school and they will work on these things?

@Blossoms217 You little man sounds absolutely gorgeous. I'm picturing him making sphag bol. and pouring himself a drink. Yes, do encourage the cooking. I had one that was showed great flare for baking growing up, he discovered 'gaming' and hasn't baked since.

Sometimes the act of helping children with their coats is percieved as an act of kindness. My daughter went to a nursery in the US where one of educators greeted her with a handshake on arrival every morning, then helped her take her coat off. The educator hung her coat on a coat hanger and placed it in the closet. I was expected to stay in an adjoining room until she overcame anxiety separation (they take Bowlby's research very seriously there).She then helped me take of my coat off. My daughter now does the same for other people as a fully fledged adult!

Interesting but it says there that 37% are not ready - not 90% as quoted by OP. I also don’t believe our primary reflects this. A tiny handful perhaps with likely SEN but otherwise all have the basics.

I do feel quite defensive on this - I have a 3.5 yo who speaks fluently, plays, puts on coat and shoes, is toilet trained, can use cutlery, is bright and fun and full of life. She is hugely loved and we integrate learning into everyday, she also attends a nursery setting where staff comment on her intelligence and maturity - but recognise her name written down? Remember her manners perfectly in a new and scary place? Know that she is expected to hang her coat on a peg in a new school without being shown? Maybe these things will be second nature in a year, but some children starting school will be not much older than she is now. I think it’s always been the case children starting primary vary hugely in ability - I could read and write by the time I went into reception, my younger brother couldn’t recognise letters and found using cutlery difficult - but he was a summer baby and I was an autumn one…

How is going to state funded school at 4 anything to do with anyone 'profit seeking'? Education is totally free til 18!

It is 100% parental attitude.

If you ever dare mention on MN that your children help cook/clean/take responsibility for themselves from toddler age + you're accused of lying or exaggerating or assumed you have all the time in the world. Its just basic parenting!

This baffles me - is it area specific because my children weren’t at all like that in reception, and not were any of their classmates (small classes of 9-12 per year). They are now (just) all in secondary, so I just messaged my friend who has her youngest (recently turned 5) who has started reception at a nearby primary and she said no, none of the children are like that. It is a mixed area, in terms of upper middle class children at the school but also some from quite deprived areas of the nearest town.

How can she possibly know what all the children in the class are like?? Does she work there?? Have every single one round to her house??
Your children are the same age as mine and I would say my anecdotal knowledge and best remembrances of them and the equivalent children I taught would agree with you. But they were 4 around 10 years ago. This wasn’t not the same issue 10 years ago.