Cautious about being too friendly with parents/agencies (tutor)

[Gigglingsquid1]

I know supply agencies are out to make money, but I'd like to think there are some recruiters that actually care about the teachers.

I worked for an agency for a few months, i told them at the start I was just looking for short-term and I left on good terms, they said to contact them if my circumstances changed. They were always very friendly, and making out like they'd work around my availability and such. I've gone down to 3 days a week in my other job so I've now got 2 regular days a week of availability. I contacted the agency, emailing both consultants I'd worked with previously, didn't hear a word. Phoned, the person isn't available/on another line 'will get back to you' but never do.

If they've no work that's fine, but it takes seconds to reply to an email letting me know.

Next I've been tutoring a young girl since January, the parents told me they were flexible on the time of day but not on the day. Eventually I could only do a bit later on that day due to my working hours (still on the same day and in the availability they'd initially agreed to). They told me it was ok then later got back saying they couldn't do it and couldn't do any of the 5 evenings in the week either due to commitments, so they were ending sessions with immediate effect, just got a 'thank you for your help' and that was it, just over.

I gave notice that my availability had changed slightly but they had 0 flexibility whatsoever, I suppose if that's what they want they'll need to find someone who can promise that specific slot indefinitely.
Just all feels very transactional and like you're dropped once you no longer serve a purpose. I know it works both ways, but i felt like I'd tried to be accommodating.

I think it's just as you get to know people and think you've built up a good relationship,it's made me realise to keep a distance.

But they couldn’t do the times? I’m not really sure what else they can do?

You don’t need to keep a distance. Just amend your expectations of people.

It's just when I signed up with them they said they were flexible on the time of day, but then backtracked.

Was this a home-schooled child?
If so ‘time of day’ may never, in their minds, have included evenings?

Fellow tutor here. It IS all transactional. As nice as they are, you work for them.

I have a very very few students / parents that I have stayed very vaguely in touch with afterwards (but only in a 'how are they doing now' sense). And 2 adorable young women who I AM in touch with regularly (sisters as it happens, so I think from a particularly nice family). But otherwise? You're providing a service. And when the service is no longer needed, there is no more relationship.

Just like with teaching.

No they attended school, I was told that she has a club on every night of the week so cannot ever do evenings, or any other slot on the weekend anymore just that specific hour, oh well if that's what they want it's better they find someone else.

The student will have got booked up with other things. Both tutoring wise and also socially.

NEVER ever pin dependency for work/income on one student/family/agency.

I'm slightly doing this at the moment with one agency, and am trying to always bear in mind I need them a LOT more than they need me and to be flexible for them and accommodating.

Just all feels very transactional and like you're dropped once you no longer serve a purpose.

Well, that's the truth though, isnt it?

They're not your friends. You build professional relationships but they're not personal ones. If your availability changes and no longer matches theirs, then the arrangement ends.

Well, yes... how else would it be?

Maybe they did have more flexibility initially but no longer had the flexibility when you needed to change the time.

What do you think they should have done?

I can see why it would be disappointing or worrying for you financially, but I'm surprised at your reaction.

Had you been teaching for long? Your expectations seem a little unusual, tbh.

I think it's just as you get to know people and think you've built up a good relationship,it's made me realise to keep a distance.

You do. That distance is 'professional boundaries'.

They're not going to be friends. It's a business arrangement. Keep things professional, reliable and efficient and if you're a good tutor you should do very well.

January-September is a huge time difference in terms of availability. Did you ask their availability preferences before you mentioned your change of priorities/schedule? I would assume they booked other clubs etc and their availability had changed substantially since they originally booked your services. I don't think the family did anything wrong. I'm assuming they would have weighed up the benefits of your services and their other services/engagements, and they, and the child preferred the other.
I wouldn't take it personally, you decided you could no longer fit the arranged time, and they decided they could not fit your availability.

You sound very naive to be honest. I’ve been a supply teacher and can tell you supply agencies are the most underhand people I know, akin to estate agents! The only reason they are ‘friendly’ to you is because you are a commodity that brings money in for them. That is all they care about, they are not your friends.

I now work as a tutor for an organisation who work in conjunction with local authorities to provide tutoring to children who are out of school for various reasons. They are better than a supply agency but I’m still fully aware that I’m getting paid a fraction of what they charge the LAs.

In your case, it sounds like you were tutoring privately. It’s still a professional transaction and you must maintain professional boundaries at all times. The family aren’t your personal friends and if the arrangement no longer suits them, they are entitled to end it.

You seem to struggle with separating the personal from the professional, which is a worry for anyone working in education.

Well of course! How else could it work. Their child can’t make those certain times. It doesn’t matter if you’re their teacher or their best friend having a play date - they just can’t make it!