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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find having 2 kids so hard?

28 replies

wanderingwillows · 10/09/2026 17:32

I am 5 months PP and also have a 3yo. My whole life is doing childcare or jobs around the house and not only is it relentless and exhausting but also boring. I hate saying it but it’s how I feel. Does everyone feel like this with 2 kids?! Maybe I’m depressed but I am just not enjoying it.

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 11/09/2026 08:01

It’s a tough time for sure. What helped me was having something out of the house planned for every day. Not necessarily meeting other people, but just time somewhere different and preferably outside.

It does get easier, then the hormones hit and they become teens, so look forward to the sweet spot!

ScaredButUnavoidable · 11/09/2026 08:12

wanderingwillows · 11/09/2026 02:54

Thanks for all the support guys. DH is around and to be fair to him he does his share of the jobs. I go back to work in March when DS turns 1. I absolutely love my kids more than anything but I didn’t ever want to be a children’s entertainer but that’s what I feel I am!! The amount of fake “wows” I have to give my toddler every day is driving me mental 🤣

My children are 8 and 12 and a big part of my role is still being their entertainer and giving them fake wows. Playing games with them that I don’t really understand or get personal enjoyment from, or pretending to be excited about things that I don’t really understand. That part of parenting doesn’t ever stop OP.

I now just entertain them by spending hours looking through football sticker books with them, playing football with them in the garden, playing “hide the Lego pieces” and playing “Mecca Chameleon” in the living room with bits of coloured paper for God knows how long (don’t ask). I have to give the fake wows when they’re enthusiastically telling endlessly about their latest achievements on the latest PS5 game and how many mutants they’ve killed and Roblox points they’ve won, rather than how many blocks they’ve piled on top of each other.

I also still spend a lot of my time picking up after them.

Yes parenting is different as they go through different ages and it presents in different ways, but the core principle will always remain the same: usually putting their needs first, faking the enjoyment when some of it is really crap, and making sure they feel that they’re you’re priority by being present for them (even if it’s playing stupid games with them).

When I was young my mother had no real interest in me and my sister and left us to our own devices and we grew up knowing that she wasn’t that bothered and I have very few memories of her being actively involved and engaged in our lives. When my children grow up I want then to look back on their children snd be able able to give 101 examples of “remember when we did x,y and z” with mom etc - even if 50% of it was something that I was gritting my teeth through with a strained smile on my face 🤣

Every stage of their childhood is so fleeting and many phases of it are so, so hard and challenging (mine have certainly pushed mine to my limit) and the younger years can be very challenging so you have my sympathy. Yet other people find the younger years the most challenging.

I loved the younger years (3.5 year age gap) and as my eldest is now approaching the teenage years I wonder where the time went. It just disappeared before my eyes. What I have found is that when the second baby came along I was so focused on their needs and them growing up (as they do require a high level of focus in those early years) my eldest seemed to grow up without me even realising it.

He’s now in Secondary school, the hormones and attitudes are setting in, he’s out with his friends all the time and although we are still very close I do yearn for the days where I felt like he was just mine. But at least I have the experiences of all the stupid games I had to make myself play, and the sometimes tiresome role of being his “entertainer” when all I wanted to do was have 10 minutes to myself, because now I am so grateful for those memories.

You probably are in the trenches OP - and there’s nothing wrong with that and it’s totally normal to find this phase overwhelming and I enjoyable. But as trite as it sounds, their childhood will fly by so sometimes you do have to “fake it until you make it”, grit your teeth and I hope a more enjoyable phase for you will come along soon.

(Congratulations on Baby number 2) xx

Fifthtimelucky · 11/09/2026 08:28

Your post - and many of the replies - made me very sad.

My children are now in their late 20s so perhaps I am looking at their early years through rose-tinted glasses, but I remember that time as one of the happiest and least stressful ones in my life.

I was a SAHM for two years - went back when the oldest started primary school as it wasn’t worth paying for two lots of childcare (no government help with it in those days). I found being at home all day much less stressful than being at work.

I had a three hour commute to work every day and my children were “easy” with no special needs, so that will have a made a difference to how I viewed the relative attractions of being at home and working.

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