Stop trying to be dramatic. It's "They didn't invite me" not "I WAS EXCLUDED!!!"

[Cloudbusting2]

Yes, yes I know already it's technically the correct term, no need to wank on about it.

But we also all know why "excluded" is all over mumsnet - over and over it's "excluded" this and "shunned" that.

FFS, not getting invited somewhere is not the eye watering drama you want desperately to believe it is.

Grow up. Get over it. And even if it is rude, or deliberate, stop saying "excluded", you sound like an attention seeking drama queen trying to give a nothingburger, an absolutely average life event, a whiff of formality and importance.

This is a very dramatic post about some other people just talking about their lives.

You could take some of your own medicine.

You were not invited because people did not want you there.
Now, let us think about why that may be?

Bet the invites for you are flooding in 😂

I think there’s a difference between not being invited and being deliberately left out, though. If someone is repeatedly excluded from a group or plans are made specifically to leave them out, “excluded” doesn’t seem particularly dramatic. It really depends on the situation.

Have you purposely left out the poll OP - because you know YABU?

‘Excluded’ means intentionally left out - it’s a perfectly acceptable phrase to use where a person is the only member of a group or family not to be invited to something and where there is a context to that happening. But you can carry on ‘wanking on’ unsympathetically in response to people who are upset that this happened to them, or perhaps just grow up and skip those threads if the ‘drama’ is too much for you? The rest of us will offer support or eye rolls in replies if we want to.

Made me 😃

If you know a couple well and only invite one of them to your wedding, I would say the other partner was excluded. It depends on context.

Every single event on the planet excludes someone, so I don't object to people using the word, but I agree that the idea that everyone should always be included is not only entitled but also completely unrealistic and unworkable. It's simply impossible and undesirable to include everyone. However it is painful to be excluded sometimes so if a poster is saying they feel hurt, I have sympathy. If they are saying that because they feel hurt they should be included then i would say they are being entitled and unreasonable.

It completely depends on context. I think people do have a tendency to overdramatise things like this and read a forgotten invitation as “Oh my God they’ve excluded me!”.

But it definitely does happen.

Also this.

As in the endless “bitchy school gate mums” threads where people are accused of excluding each other if they fail to hold a smile for long enough.

School seems to bring out a collective madness on the part of a lot of women.

How ironic….

’drama’

‘Grow up’

’get over it’

‘Attention seeking drama queen’

I’m guessing these words have all been used to describe on more than one occasion.

Perhaps reflect on your own behaviour before judging others.
I would definitely exclude you from things.

I completely agree with you OP. All of the "oh, be kind, include everyone" brigade always make me think of the old Harry Enfield sketch where the whole football team insist on running around together as a pack.

The use of "refuse" also seems to have ramped up lately. "AIBU to refuse to xyz".

Yes, yes you are unreasonable. You can choose not to do something (with or without a good reason) or politely decline, but the use of "refuse" is unnecessary. You aren't an Olympic show-jumping horse.

Excluded
unsafe
hate

these are all words which are now commonly used (to be clear, I am not saying they are solely used) beyond their original meaning. Hate is hate. But people used the word when there is a disagreement, for example.

I broadly agree. “Excluded” implies that someone believes they should have been invited, which is sometimes true but not nearly as often as people seem to think.

I agree with you OP - there is so much therapy style talk on here these days it drives me potty. Excluded seems to be used by the same people who use myself rather than me. Maybe I am too old.

Agreed. Just as 'people talking to their friends at the school gates' does not equal a 'clique'.

i agree. Just because you haven’t been included in something doesn’t automatically mean that you were excluded. People may just have got together to talk about something among themselves, rather than explicitly saying “let’s not ask Sally”. Sometimes you will feel hurt. It to be invited to something, but it is helpful to step back and try and look at it from that perspective most of the time, I think.

Don't forget being SNUBBED when someone else is in a rush and doesn't have time to chat.

It's funny comparing the two great genres of invite threads on MN. First, the ones wailing about being EXCLUDED and SHUNNED and SNUBBED by a distant in-law they only saw twice a year at family gatherings. Second, the offence taken and pursed mouths about SELF-INDULGENCE when a close friend dares to invite you on a night out for her birthday.

In spme situations being excluded is the correct term to describe what happened.
Why does it bother you,? it's not dramatic it's factual .

Can we add 'hormones' and 'expect' 2 of the most overused words on here, expect more in the thread titles though

Yes to all this! What makes it extra-funny is that the worst thing you can be for many Mners is 'attention-seeking' or having 'Main Character Syndrome', yet you'd need to have a serious case of both to reorient the world around yourself to the extent that you view every social interaction as a matter of you being shunned/excluded/snubbed/expected to countenance the Extreme Self-Indulgence of someone inviting you to a birthday meal.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Call it whatever you fancy. But if you were not invited it's absolutely always because the inviter did not want you there as much as the people the people they did invite. Which is fine and does not need analysis.